Living with partner

qwytre · 11-01-2007 6:42pm #1

Thinking of moving in with my girlfriend. She also is a house owner and will rent out her house.

What is the norm for this, I guess we would split bills but is it not right to ask her to pay something towards my mortgage?

What do people generally do?

Adam · 11-01-2007 6:57pm

The fact that she has a house is irrelevant. She is probably making her mortgage and then some on renting her house anyway, so that's beside the point. If you're living together and plan to stay that way then you should both be paying for the living space in question i.e. your house.

/me takes a bow

bbbbb · 11-01-2007 7:22pm

I take it you both have houses and mortgages, but now she will be getting rent as she's living with you, but you won't?

Capt'n Midnight · 11-01-2007 7:56pm

you could let her stay the first month free and then charge her "rent"

will letting her house actually cover the mortgague ?

dr.bollocko · 11-01-2007 8:01pm

Maybe you should get her to give you half the rent towards your mortgage? Plus ye should half the bills. Well approximately half anywa, based on what you expect to pay monthly, you know, you could have ESB and phone, she could have gas and telly... Its something that ye really should have a frank and open discussion about right at the start. Well, maybe after a bottle of wine and a home cooked meal, let her unpack her suitcase first. Then spring it on her!

Anti · 11-01-2007 8:02pm

Feck dat. Let her pay half of everything. Just as said before, she is making a mint from renting her house. especially if she has had it a few years now.

qwytre · 11-01-2007 8:25pm

Yes we both have our own houses and mortgages. She will rent out her house and will have a profit of maybe 150 per month.

But thats probably irrelevant. I thought it would be reasonable for her to pay half the bills and half my mortgage. Or less than half.

free2fly · 11-01-2007 8:35pm

qwytre wrote:

Yes we both have our own houses and mortgages. She will rent out her house and will have a profit of maybe 150 per month.

But thats probably irrelevant. I thought it would be reasonable for her to pay half the bills and half my mortgage. Or less than half.

I don't see any problem with splitting all the bills 50/50. But you need to have a discussion about it before she moves in. Don't just dump it on her after she's moved in.

Black Swan · 11-01-2007 8:47pm

qwytre wrote:

Yes we both have our own houses and mortgages. She will rent out her house and will have a profit of maybe 150 per month.

Her house is not at issue, since neither of you will be living in it. It is a source of income, just like a job. The fact that the source of income is a house is irrelavant.

But thats probably irrelevant. I thought it would be reasonable for her to pay half the bills and half my mortgage. Or less than half.

Paying half of the bills seems reasonable. But there is a question of equity should she share in paying half the mortgage. Is she a renter in your mind, or a partner? If a renter, then nothing further is due her, but if a partner, then part of the equity should be hers? You gain future value when you pay the mortgage, as a renter she would not, but as a partner should she? Something to think about?

kizzyr · 11-01-2007 10:06pm

If you are moving in together then you are obviously serious about each other and will share finances etc. The way I'd do things is she rents her house out and some of the rent will pay the mortgage on that and whats left over should be left in an account that neither of you touch in the short term. That money can be used for any repairs or other expenses that house will incur with tenants moving in and out etc. Over a long period of time this money will mount up nicely and could be used by both of you to buy a third house and the one you'll be living in could be rented or the newer house could be rented.
In the house you will both be living in together I can tell you what works for me and my boyfriend and you can see what you think of it and it may work for you.
I bought this house about 7 years ago, my boyfriend was doing a post grad and wasn't ready for us to live together (which was fair enough as we'd only been together a year at this stage and we were young both only 23) so I bought it on my own and rented out the spare rooms. After 2 years of this we decided to live together but kept the mortgage etc in my name and account. We set up a separate joint account into which he puts X amount of money from which we pay the gas, esb, ntl and groceries. I pay the mortgage, house insurance and the life insurance for me to protect the mortgage. I think it works out that I pay a little more than he does but the amount is pretty small and I earn more money than he does anyway so it seems fair.

astrofool · 11-01-2007 10:17pm

Have a look on daft.ie to what the rent is on similar accommodation, factor in that she's your girlfriend and work from there.

She shouldn't just be paying half your mortgage, as she won't have the house to own as a result of the money she is paying.

Hydroquinone · 12-01-2007 12:04am

I think that half the bills is a given, seeing that you will both be consuming whatever it is that the bills pay for - gas, electric, telly, broadband or food.

I think she should be paying something to your mortgage, because otherwise she is living there rent free. And nobody lives anywhere rent free these days. She shouldn't be paying half of it, because it's not half her house, is it? Unless you want to put her on the title deeds straight away - which I think would be a bit rash, myself. But then I'm not a big romantic!!

I know when my other half moved in here with me, he had no house of his own and he told me that he wanted to pay me the same amount as he'd been paying for rent in his previous house. Seemed fair enough to me, so we settled on that. I know your girlfriend isn't in that exact same position, because she's got her own house, but she might have thought about it herself and have an idea what she thinks might be a reasonable amount.

Just a quick question - you say in your OP that you are "thinking of " moving in with your girlfriend. Sounds a bit peculiar
Have you asked her? Have you agreed between you that it will be your house that ye both live in? Or are you assuming that she'll be happy to rent hers and live in yours?

NextSteps · 12-01-2007 9:49am

I don't know about the mortgage thing, but when it comes to bills, food, etc. this is what we do. We have a list and write ourselves down for any bills we pay, shopping we do and so on, then settle up at the end of the month. It seems fair as you don't have to be balancing things in your head 'well I paid this so you pay that'. Obviously romantic meals and botles of wine aren't included!