Should I make a move or just forget it?

LegacyUser

I met a guy in college this year and really like him, but I think everything's got too complicated now for anything to ever happen again. Basically on a night out with our class he tried to kiss me and though I kinda wanted to I had to stop him because I had a boyfriend at the time, and it was really awkward afterwards because we'd got on so well before and I thought our friendship was wrecked. Anyway, my boyfriend broke up with me a few days later, not because of that but because it just wasn't working. About three weeks later there was another class party, and it was really nice because the awkwardness was gone between me and this guy I like (probably because there was alcohol involved, not that we were really drunk or anything but we'd both had a few drinks) and we were dancing loads and everything, anyway I kissed him but then he pulled away and was like 'What about your boyfriend' and I explained that we'd broken up and all but he said it just wasn't right and that was the end of that. I was really embarrassed afterwards but it wasn't as awkward as the first time. This was all before Christmas and I didn't see him over the holidays, but now that we're back in college we're getting on really well again and I really like him and I think he likes me but I don't want to make a move again in case I get rejected and wreck everything again. Should I just try moving on?

hunnymonster

You could ask him to go see a film? The cinema is a great "date" when you already know the person but have so far lacked oppertunity Share a tub of popcorn, if he holds your hand rather than his extra large coke then you've got your answer. If he spends the entire 2 hours stuffing his mouth with nothing but popcorn you've got another answer. I'm sure the sages of PI will have better ideas though.

LegacyUser

Yeah but if I ask him to go to the cinema and he says no or makes up an excuse or whatever it's still rejection and it will still be awkward afterwards won't it?

py2006

A girl who makes a move on a bloke???? I didn't think this was possible for Irish girls!!! I think I love you! Take me instead!!

Ahem, anywayyyyyyyy. GO FOR IT ya mad yoke! Its obvious he likes you!

davyjose

py2006 wrote:

A girl who makes a move on a bloke???? I didn't think this was possible for Irish girls!!! I think I love you! Take me instead!!

Ahem, anywayyyyyyyy. GO FOR IT ya mad yoke! Its obvious he likes you!

Dead obvious, but I don't think it would do you any harm to cool the jets a bit. Some of us guys can be funny and it's not black and white. If his head is wrecked over you he'll not be able to get you out of his head. If you make the move twice in a row, he might get a little bit scared. Trust me, he's yours, just ease of the throttle a bit. There's no rush.

Tarakiwa

I suggest you try talking about it. It should be easy enough to do. Talk about the 2 arkward situations & hear how he feels about them.

I bet you will be hopping on the good foot & doing the bad thing before you know it!

Black Swan

Talk with him. Have a coffee or tea on campus. Find out where his head (and heart) is...

LegacyUser

'Oh I can't talk to him, I think it'll just make things worse. I tried talking to him after the first time and it did not work at all, he listened to what I said but wouldn't talk back about it and changed the subject. Arrgh I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens, thing is I doubt either of us is going to initiate anything now because both of us have before and have been rejected by the other...'

ats

muddled wrote:

Arrgh I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens, thing is I doubt either of us is going to initiate anything now because both of us have before and have been rejected by the other...'

maybe 7he rejected you because he thought it was a rebound thing? you had only recently broken up with your then BF. he may not have wanted to be reboundboy or something.

that fact that there was something there before you broke up obviously suggests that its not a rebound thing, but look at it from his side of things, he tried it on and you said no you're spoken for, then a few weeks later you try it on wth him. maybe he was trying to move on and you took him by surprise r something.

Why not ask him out to a movie as suggested but take it slow let things develop and just try reasure him its not a rebound thing, oh and dont hop on him in the back row, unless of course he asks ya too then fire away.

miamee

ats wrote:

look at it from his side of things, he tried it on and you said no you're spoken for, then a few weeks later you try it on wth him. maybe he was trying to move on and you took him by surprise r something.

I'd agree with the above, I reckon he really liked you, made a move & you rejected him (because of your relationship with your bf) but he decided it was time to move on cos you were with someone else. Then when you made a move on him you took him completely by surprise & he was probably a little shocked seeig as you didn't tell him you & your bf had split up before you made your move!! Just give him time to get his head round the idea tha tyou are free & single now, stay friends with him, do friends stuff like going for coffees & going for drinks or to the cinema or whatever & see how it goes, if he still likes you I'm sure he'll show it soon enough

chamlis

ats wrote:

maybe 7he rejected you because he thought it was a rebound thing? you had only recently broken up with your then BF. he may not have wanted to be reboundboy or something.

that fact that there was something there before you broke up obviously suggests that its not a rebound thing, but look at it from his side of things, he tried it on and you said no you're spoken for, then a few weeks later you try it on wth him. maybe he was trying to move on and you took him by surprise r something.

Why not ask him out to a movie as suggested but take it slow let things develop and just try reasure him its not a rebound thing, oh and dont hop on him in the back row, unless of course he asks ya too then fire away.

From personal experience being the guy, I can tell you that YEP! That's pretty much it right there.

You're not into this as much as I am. I don't believe you when you say you are. You're going to have to show me that you really mean this and I'm not just the next guy to come along etc.. :rolleyes:

LegacyUser

'he probably backed away from you because he doesn't want to be the rebound guy, at least that would be my reaction if i was in his place. give it time. valentines is only a month away. plan a dinner, something intimate/private with him'