I want my ex back-Help!!

PrincessFiona

I went out with this guy for two years and dumped him when he told me he had cheated on me. Over a year later, i realise that i want him back. He's the love of my life and i shouldn't have let him go.
But, he has a new girlfriend, or so i've been told. He kept asking me to get back with him but i said no, that is until now. I have been livin' the single life, out having fun for the past year but haven't found any guy i want to be with as much as him. It was both our first serious relationship, but we really did love each other! I only realise how much now. Is it too late? Should i just move on or should i try and get him back? Maybe he has moved on without me? Help!!

secret_squirrel

Dont be a mug. He Cheated on you, which means something was probably wrong in the first place.

A year is a small time to get over your first serious relationship, stop looking at the past with rose tinted glasses.

Give it another few months and you will be thinking you were mad to even consider it.

py2006

Time to move on girl! Your just down because your single! Your missing the company!

You dumped him for the right reason and dont forget that! If he loved you he would not have cheated! You don't want to go back to that!

Getting back with an ex is RARELY a good idea!

Bob the Builder

py2006 wrote:

Getting back with an ex is RARELY a good idea!

..typo, is NEVER a good idea actually...

Think yourself, why did he cheat on you in the first place? how honest was he? How are you going to get him back?

walrusgumble

the othe rtwo are prob true, i'd say when he cheated one you it crushed you, could you ever trust that person again?

not saying its an excuse, by all means cheating is inexcusable, but it was yer first relationship, and people can do stupid things. however i dont want to be crule, but he seemed to have got over you by going with someone else.

i think you should go out into town and enjoy single life (by sounds of things ya are only in your early 20's) wait a few months and see if you have the same feelings. if you still do, well at least get back on talking terms with the guy/girl, and take it very very very slowly, ya dont want to appear to be a sucker for punshment.

Skiesonfire19

Move on PF, there is no such thing as a once off cheater!

Enjoy single life!

'Noone is worth your tears, and the one who is wont make you shed them'

Skies

LegacyUser

'Don't do it, I broke up with my 3 year boyfriend and for ages I wanted to get back with him, but it's only because I didn't let myself try with a new boyfriend. Give it time, look for a new man.'

joeybloggs

Im agreeing with the rest.If it was so great why cheat? Can i suggest that maybe cause you now think that he is with somone else ,now that he is unavailable,now you want him back. Let your uncertainty end here, find someone else who will treat you properly, just because he only cheated on you once that does not make him better than the guys who might have cheated on thier girlfriends a couple of times.
You can get somone better i Guarantee it!

curehead

i went out with a girl for two years and i was crazy about her and after one drunken night she heard i had kissed this girl outside a nightclub and we split up all because of one moment of stupidity, i have always regretted it and have never done anything like that since but i will never know now what could have been and have never met anyone to take her place people are worth a second chance to atone for their mistakes

PrincessFiona

Hey, thanks for the advice I didn't expect such a negative response! My initial response was of the same 'once a cheater, always a cheater' opinion which is why i completely shut him out of my life afterwards for so long. His one mistake really hurt me and i hated him for it. But that didn't stop me thinking about him more and more everyday, only recently realising that i still love him. Not to justifiy it, but it was a once-off drunken kiss. Does that mean there was something wrong in our relationship? Because if there was, i sure as hell didn't feel it!

dvega

Well people make mistakes its a part of our evolution.This is where the saying comes in 'you dont actually miss something till its actually gone'.The only thing thats catching you here is that he has a gf.Just cause he kissed someone after a drunken fit doesnt mean there was anything wrong with your relationship.After all he did tell you!

I would say go for it,but just remember theres another girl involved and it could get nasty.

I was in a simular situation and its something i regret to this day,dont believe all this bull about getting back with an ex is never a good idea,it just depense on why it was a break up in the first place,im sure he regretted that kiss and probably to this day he still does.

seamus

January is the worst month for making decisions. You're lonely and down after Xmas, and everything looks like ****. Enjoy yourself till March. If you still feel like this at that point, then think about it.

But seriously, consider why you would want a man who has no respect for you or the relationship you had.

Black Swan

PrincessFiona wrote:

It was both our first serious relationship

This says a lot. Such relationships leave a strong impression, but are often misleading. He cheated on you and is now with another g/f, which are the present realities that should suggest you move on.

Fantastic Kaz

Once a cheater always a cheater. If you take him back he'll just do it again because he got away with it the first time. The end.

CathyMoran

I do no believe that once a cheater always a cheater but I do not believe that the OP should go back to her ex as he is dating someone else.

Rb

He has moved on, now its time for you to do the same.

"We really did love each other" - I don't see how you can say this about a guy who went off with another girl behind your back. Maybe you loved him, but cheating (and the pain inflicted as a result of) is hardly an act of love.

RealJohn

I'm with Cathy on this. I was in a similar position to your ex a few years ago. I was really drunk at a work do, kissed another girl, told my ex and broke her heart. It broke my heart too though and it is, to date, my biggest regret in life.

However, when she broke up with me, I began to see the problems with the relationship and I realised that while I did love her and wouldn't have cheated again, I really wasn't that happy.

I've moved on and I assume she has too. To me it sounds like your ex is moving on too and to be honest, it's not fair of you to go back and tell him you want him back now. You should try to move on yourself and give yourself more time. Your first serious relationship is hard to get over. A year won't necessarily do it. You will get over it though and who knows, maybe in time you will get back together. I just don't think that it'd be a good thing to get back together while either one of you still feels like the first relationship isn't over.

If you get back together, it needs to be a fresh relationship in its own right. You can't get that right now so you should try to move on.

custardcreams

ask yourself a simple question - this is not difficult just answer yes or no. Forget about foundation, gloss, mascera, new top, thonged up.

would his eye wander if you were feeling a little insecure. the above is related to girl confidence and if you dont associate any of the above items to confidence grand but it you do then dont if you dont then do.

if you do and you are a rattlesnake waiting to give him the ''i got you now you son of a bitch'' - waster your time ,,,he will just keep on boning and this is health reasons you should melt it off for him in any case.

cheating ....= threatening your life (may sound hard but if you found out your signif other is getting it from someone else and nobody had the ballbag to tell you i would be getting all tested out...you trust their judgement now. Its rhetorical.

Last one to do that (one of the boys) got the dan breen cricket bat of justice and no they didnt get warning.He is for hire to hand it out.

Capt'n Midnight

If he is going out with someone else, then how can you be sure that if he gets back with you he isn't just cheating on her at the same time. Or that if he breaks up with her he just isn't on the rebound.

So keep away, if he was interested he'd have appeared by now. Maybe it's just a case of you wanting something you can't have.

secret_squirrel

custardcreams wrote:

ask yourself a simple question - this is not difficult just answer yes or no. Forget about foundation, gloss, mascera, new top, thonged up.

would his eye wander if you were feeling a little insecure. the above is related to girl confidence and if you dont associate any of the above items to confidence grand but it you do then dont if you dont then do.

if you do and you are a rattlesnake waiting to give him the ''i got you now you son of a bitch'' - waster your time ,,,he will just keep on boning and this is health reasons you should melt it off for him in any case.

cheating ....= threatening your life (may sound hard but if you found out your signif other is getting it from someone else and nobody had the ballbag to tell you i would be getting all tested out...you trust their judgement now. Its rhetorical.

Last one to do that (one of the boys) got the dan breen cricket bat of justice and no they didnt get warning.He is for hire to hand it out.

Most useless PI post ever

Was it actually intended to give the OP any useful advice, or was it just for you to demostrate that you couldnt write an analogy or comparison to save your life?

And what exactly does " cheating ....= threatening your life" mean.

Were you drunk?

To the OP for some people a drunken kiss would not be used as an excuse to completely end a long term relationship.

At the time you obviously did. You have to ask yourself if it was just through your own insecurities or because you didnt trust him afterwards.

In any case its fairly irrelevant given that he has another GF. At best you should wait til he is single again.

In the meantime - get on with your life and stop pining for the past. If its meant to be its meant to be.

dvega

custardcreams wrote:

ask yourself a simple question - this is not difficult just answer yes or no. Forget about foundation, gloss, mascera, new top, thonged up.

would his eye wander if you were feeling a little insecure. the above is related to girl confidence and if you dont associate any of the above items to confidence grand but it you do then dont if you dont then do.

if you do and you are a rattlesnake waiting to give him the ''i got you now you son of a bitch'' - waster your time ,,,he will just keep on boning and this is health reasons you should melt it off for him in any case.

cheating ....= threatening your life (may sound hard but if you found out your signif other is getting it from someone else and nobody had the ballbag to tell you i would be getting all tested out...you trust their judgement now. Its rhetorical.

Last one to do that (one of the boys) got the dan breen cricket bat of justice and no they didnt get warning.He is for hire to hand it out.

I read that 4 times and i still dont understand it.

darkflower

Girl wake up! What makes you think you want him back eh? Try having relationship with a new one then decide later if you still want that ex back. You might just be missing being with somebody but not him again!:cool: