Do i Care or What?

LegacyUser

Hey Guys,

First of all thank you for taking the time to listen to this mail but i really need to get this off my chest, here it goes....

Iv plenty of friends ok? get along really well with everyone, i have 2 really close friends but as of late iv started to drift away from them a bit, mainly because one of them thinks he is so f**kin* mad and the other has just turned into a arrogant fool ever since he got with his girlfriend, now i know (from good source's) that the 2 of them have been saying alot of things about me behind my back, but yet when they need a fav or that they ALWAYS ring me, and of course me been so nice i always say yes, not only that but i have 4 really good female friends that i tell everything to and lately 2 of them have become close with my 2 mates, and my "mates" are starting to try and turn them on me, what should i do? i dont wanna start a big rowe between everyone ( im the kind of guy that always forgive's n forgets) but do i need friends like this? there ment to be my 2 best mates but all they do is lick the @$$ off each other......to be honest one has his head so far up the other's hol3 i cant tell where he begins and the other ends!?!?

again sorry for the rant but i just really had to get it off my chest!

Cheers

walrusgumble

how long have you been mates with them? the mate with the girlfriend, i assume he normally not use to having one, f&ck let him have his fun cause when he comes crying back to you that she cheated on him, how that head will deflate.

seriously though, is it possible to talk to eah of them seperately or together? tell them that ye it was a laugh at the start but now cope on, or to some extent like that. the prob is, i am sure you might see it as, well i have known these guys all my life... it aint that easy to tell them to f&ck off. unfortunately these things do happen we you get older, and we taught women were worse lol.

i suppose first off, trying to ignore their smart arse comments might be a start, maybe a sly dig on your friend in front of him and his girl (i am sure he was not all smooth and cool back in the day) try not let them think they are getting to you, but the more you allow them to be the butt of their jokes the worse it will get.

i suppose, secondly, try not to talk about them to the girls who are close to them, drink and talking are not a good mix when the bitching starts,

is there any chance you an move away from that environent and find new friends? has there attitude changed since you drifted away from them, maybe thats why they are being tw&ts to you, maybe spend more time with them, unless they have become totally unbearable

greenteaicedtea

There came a time when my friends (who are a couple) started treating me like a taxi service. They stopped returning my calls for awhile. The guy would talk to me if he answered the phone, but the girl (my high school friend) never returned the calls, over a 3 year time period. They got married and I got sent some pics, but I didn't bother replying because I was tired of wondering if they were my friends or not. I've sent a few cards since then, but I get no response.

Sometimes if your friends have new friends who don't like having you around, I would say only spend a minimum amount of time with them. Find new nicer friends. Who needs the hassle of people talking behind your back?

Adam

No offence meant here OP, but my guess is you're probably about 15/16?

Friendship is nothing but politics for the most part at that age, moreso when girlfriends/boyfriends get involved. Not to sound completely clichéd but if I'm right about the age bracket, it's a tough time for you and all involved. At that age I didn't know who to call a friend, and went through a phase of deciding I had none and didn't really need any!

5 years later and I have a wonderful fiancee who doubles as my best friend (what a combo I hear you say!) and after that I have one real friend. Don't get me wrong, I could probably through a party and get a list of about 20-30 people that I could bank on coming, but they're more what I like to think of as "social friends" i.e. drinking buddies, the kind of folk you will go out or do something with in numbers, but very few of them would I call up singley and ask out for a quiet pint.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is don't worry too much, the group dynamic will shift back and forth for quite some time, and by the end of it all who knows where you'll all be!

Skiesonfire19

First of all, dude you don't need people like that in your life, it seems to me that these 'friends' in question, are not 'friends' atall! Ditch them before they ditch you, keep some pride!

And second, go back to english class! Some of that spelling is woefull!

Skies

greine

Skiesonfire19 wrote:

And second, go back to english class! Some of that spelling is woefull!

Skies

Woeful!

But seriously, OP, keep on driftin from those guys, they are not friends..IMO, 2 types of people..drains and radiators, they sound like drains!

Scráib

I can empathise a bit here. When I was in secondary school I had two friends who admittedly treated me like crap. Now this continued until college, until we went to different universities.

In college I go some pride and confidence and these days they treat me with respect. Which is where my story links with yours: If they don't respect you its not a friendship, and it sounds like they don't currently.

I'd tell them straight. If they decide to end the friendship then in the long run you're better off. If you're friends afterwards it will be a stronger friendship because they(and you) know the limits, and they'll respect you more for confronting them.

LegacyUser

'thanks a mill for the reply's lads, and mirror im in my 20's! it was grand for all them, they decided to pi$$ off to one of the girls house's the other night for a session and didnt even bother to text me, i have a few guys that iv been heading out with on the piss every weekend from an organisation im in and there is a really strong trust between the 8 of us, we all respect each other so much and help each other out, ye know? anyway again thank you so much for all your reply's and iv think iv come to the decision that im just gonna play it cool, just gonna be giving them 1 word answer's, im sick of been walked over by them, i really dont need them.....


thanks a mill guys/gals

happy new year to you all!'

Black Swan

A time to sort out those who care from those who don't?

Adam

Unreg07Dub wrote:

'thanks a mill for the reply's lads, and mirror im in my 20's! it was grand for all them, they decided to pi$$ off to one of the girls house's the other night for a session and didnt even bother to text me, i have a few guys that iv been heading out with on the piss every weekend from an organisation im in and there is a really strong trust between the 8 of us, we all respect each other so much and help each other out, ye know? anyway again thank you so much for all your reply's and iv think iv come to the decision that im just gonna play it cool, just gonna be giving them 1 word answer's, im sick of been walked over by them, i really dont need them.....


thanks a mill guys/gals

happy new year to you all!'

Well my apologies in that case, I chalked it up to the text speak, it's not very well recieved around here and usually signifies some fiendish teeny bopper with "problems"! You're best off taking the time to spell, punctuate and structure what you're trying to say, makes it easier for everybody and you'll be better received! Best of luck anyway man!

darkflower

greine wrote:

Woeful!

But seriously, OP, keep on driftin from those guys, they are not friends..IMO, 2 types of people..drains and radiators, they sound like drains!

Great classification! wonder why a lot of people were made like that.:mad: