Amputation

Naikon

Heres the deal.
An elderly reletive of mine is having one of his legs removed due to a blood clot,
and I was wondering if anybody could give me advice on how to break the news when he comes round. He is 90 years old, I doubt he will be able to adapt as it is very tough, but it could be worse.
I am confused.
Please reply.
Thanks.:(

Naikon

bump

MarkR

I suppose you have to tell them you have some bad news for them. It's not something that you'll be able to ignore or put on the back burner.

Doesn't the doctor / surgeon normally do this sort of thing?

Do they have any counsellers / specialists who can assist?

Nevyn

Naikon there is not need to bump a post after a mere 18 minutes, infact it is quite rude.

I do comiserate with your about having to face this loss with your relative.
Surely where ever th eproceedure is being preformed they have a team for dealing with these occsions.

From cousellors to physiotheraphists. If your relative is that old there should be a socail worker attched to the hospital that you can work with and help cordinate care and suport from the differing bodies.

Some of the posters from the disabilty forum may have more answers if you don't get some additional helpful postings here over the next day or so we could move it to there.

Surely your relative should be informed of what the proceedure they are under going is for ?

biko

You could ask the staff at the hospital. They deal with these scenarios often.

Naikon

ok,sorry for bumping.
Thanks for the advice so far.
This isnt easy:(
I just dont know how he will adapt to the situation at his age,but frankly its the only option seconded to death as the blood clot must be removed and no drugs have helped.
I will break it to him with my relatives after he gets some decent sleep as the operation is in the morning.

Lust4Life

When people reach different stages in their lives they look at things differently.

To you it may seem like the worst thing in the world.
But to a 90 year old man it may look like the better alterniative.
But of course things like this effect every one in a different manner.

I spend a great deal of my work day with patients who have lived through it - and their ages and reasons vary - as do their attitudes.
But I can assure you that being a genuinely kind and loving person your relative can only do the heart good!

Be there. Let him talk. He'll appreciate that.

\m/_(>_<)_\m/

Naikon wrote:

Heres the deal.
An elderly reletive of mine is having one of his legs removed due to a blood clot,
and I was wondering if anybody could give me advice on how to break the news when he comes round. He is 90 years old, I doubt he will be able to adapt as it is very tough, but it could be worse.
I am confused.
Please reply.
Thanks.:(

i would of thought that it would be the place of a doctor or surgeon to break that news to him.

Pirbright

I was in this position in the summer. If I hadn't of been made go to the hospital when I did, the consultant said I'd have lost my leg within the next 12 hrs and if I'd left it 24 hrs later I'd have probably died from the clot travelling to my heart or lungs. When they told me they made sure I was ok. Didn't exactly break it gently to me but they did make sure I wasn't too shocked. Took me a few months to come to terms with being that close to losing a leg / death but the hospital staff have been great in my follow ups and made sure if I had any problems to contact them straight away. So if you can't explain the situation then let them do it. They do it on a daily basis and I'm sure they'll be more then willing to help.

Naikon

Well he has just declined the operation as he feels it will affect his life considerably as his other leg is partially paralyzed.
It went Ok as the staff/family members broke it to him gently.
GOD I FEEL AWFUL:(

free2fly

Naikon wrote:

Well he has just declined the operation as he feels it will affect his life considerably as his other leg is partially paralyzed.
It went Ok as the staff/family members broke it to him gently.
GOD I FEEL AWFUL:(

I'm so sorry for your pain OP. When people reach that age they can be very stubborn and set in their ways. You'll just have to abide by his wishes and be there to love and support him.

secret_squirrel

free2fly wrote:

When people reach that age they can be very stubborn and set in their ways.

Its worth noting that they might also be the one who is best qualified to judge how such an operation will affect them, rather than Rellies who might have a different point of view.

Even with the best will in the world its extremely difficult for a relative who is emotionally involved to take an objective decision.

Assuming of course that the Patient is of sound mind it may be for the best that they make the decision.