Dylan

lilmissprincess

Theres a shadow on your eye
I can see me,
Mirror images fading into the blue

Fading as you and I
As we do, together.
Fade into one unbreakable cloud

Faint pink clouds pass us by
The rain pours down
Still caught in your kiss

Time passes by
Seconds but a lifetime
Still here with you
Still caught in your kiss

Dylan_James

Ahh that was nice Princess, but I have never met you

lilmissprincess

Oh ha ha, yeah, ok, its about my boyfriend who appears to have the same name as u..

Insect Overlord

I like it, but I'm not quite sure why! lol.
Nice work.

lilmissprincess

thanks

MagnumForce

its a nice ickle poem, but in the first verse id replace "me" with "myself" and the repetition of "cloud" annoys me for some reason i dunno, just cos you say you become a cloud and then right after you say "clouds pass us by". you could be saying that you're an unbreakable cloud whereas the faint pink clouds are weaker, like your relationship is stronger than the others who are around you, which is a good thing, but just the repetition gets in the way of the nice sentiment.

I like it though. sorry for bitching about it and all.

lilmissprincess

Yeah, ok, seeing your point. Nah, its constructive, it aint bitching..

StephenInsane

Is that Dylan? I'm not familiar with it. I'm more into his earlier stuff.

Insect Overlord

StephenInsane wrote:

Is that Dylan? I'm not familiar with it. I'm more into his earlier stuff.

I think the poem is called "Dylan", it wasn't written by Bob...:rolleyes:

lilmissprincess

Yeah, title only.