One For The Road

joe_dunne

The deeper that sorrow carves into me,
The more joy that I can hold,
The longer I stay on the outside,
The less that I feel the cold,
Its not all good, it’s not all bad,
This melancholic to and fro,
I’m trying to put my best foot forward,
Trying to let my good side show.

You wouldn’t believe how much I wanna drink right now,
One more to follow the last,
Something cold, to be still my soul,
To quiet my demons at last,
I’m trying to work out,
What I’m trying to say,
Distill a life into a line.
You want me to be honest,
Be open with you,
Well show me yours,
And I’ll show you mine.

I’m almost afraid to say good bye,
To the hang ups I’ve held on to so long,
I’m sat here alone, on my drinker’s throne,
Trying to sing along to a song,
It all has to stop, this pain this rot,
I need to pick myself up off the floor
Put down this death, pick up my health
See if I’ve the strength to open the door

As ever all comments very welcome

Joe Dunne

Dylan_James

joe_dunne wrote:

The deeper that sorrow carves into me,
The more joy that I can hold,
The longer I stay on the outside,
The less that I feel the cold,

Beautiful, truthful, introspective and retrospective.

joe_dunne wrote:

"You wouldn’t believe how much I wanna drink right now,
One more to follow the last,
Something cold, to be still my soul,
To quiet my demons at last,"

These lines show how the poet is deluding himself by self convincing that their next drink will deliver them peace. The image of a drunken man trying desperately to collect their thoughts and then deliver them into a reasonable and coherent sentence springs to my mind. This is reinforced by the next lines:

joe_dunne wrote:

"I’m trying to work out,
What I’m trying to say,
Distill a life into a line."

The last line in the quote puts across that confusion excellently. There is the use of the word Distil (taking images of vats of whiskey to me). There has been many times when we have been in this state, where everything and anything we have experienced in my life needs to be said to someone who could relate. However there is always a feeling of uncompleted work that persists even after the conversation ends.

joe_dunne wrote:

You want me to be honest,
Be open with you,
Well show me yours,
And I’ll show you mine.

Well non subtle hints of a sexual nature here, being straight myself, the image of the poet and a woman sitting in a bar, as the poet trying to liberate his thoughts and dreams reluctantly.

joe_dunne wrote:

I’m almost afraid to say good bye,
To the hang ups I’ve held on to so long,
I’m sat here alone, on my drinker’s throne,
Trying to sing along to a song,

Here we feel the expression of the poet changing to one of remorse and regret. Holding on too long to something not necessary good. The image of a throne gives extra significance to the issue the poet has. He may again delude himself with thoughts of grandeur, but he has recognised this. The poet describes trying to sing a song, forgetfulness and being out of tune are the themes we see here.

joe_dunne wrote:

It all has to stop, this pain this rot,
I need to pick myself up off the floor
Put down this death, pick up my health
See if I’ve the strength to open the door

Only in this section do we see an issue of repetition. But this seems to be deliberate by the poet. The use of the word "up" twice and "open" are too positive images the poet uses to conclude and provide the reader with a conclusion.

In summary, this poem deals with a lot of issues and themes. The prevailing theme seems to be of confusion and loneliness. Like a king, the poet sits on his throne, ruling over his life and like a king on his death bed, reflecting over his years and trying to grasp a sense of fulfilment that can never be achieved.

joe_dunne

Hi all

Holy crap man, i've never had anyone do that before lol.
Thanks for all the time it took and the effort you made, i really appriciate it.

I must admit to stealing the first two lines from an 18th century turkish poet tho, but i trust you all not to tell him.

The last 4 lines I feel are weak and will probably have to go.

Once again cheers

Joe Dunne