What the hell do I do??

LegacyUser

Ok, so have been going out with a girl for 3 months (been seeing her for 5) and I have been very careful about my feelings, I didnt want to get attached etc, anywho, she has told me she loves me and I didnt really feel the same but I said it anyway.

Went home with for xmas and I just relised how amazing she is, driving home she was telling me how she plans to go travelling next year etc. It suddenly hits me that I actually care and hey presto I do actually love this girl.

I have a good job which I dont think would be here if I got back and I would find it hard to get the same type with the qualifications.

What do I do?

Do I brave the 12 months and see how we get on, this could end up with me wanting to travel with her but her not feeling the same.

Or do I end it now before we get too involved?

Its amazing how you think have control over your feelings and then it takes one thing to show you that you really have no control over anything

amoKey

HelpWanted wrote:

. It suddenly hits me that I actually care and hey presto I do actually love this girl.

I have a good job which I dont think would be here if I got back and I would find it hard to get the same type with the qualifications.

isn't it strange how it just creeps up and kicks ya un the head like that:D

have you ever considered travelling before? would it kill you tio be away from you family and friends for that long? Personally speaking if i was younger i'd head off for a year to see the world. but that's just me.

I'd say talk to her about you joining her even for part of the trip. you don't want to loose a good job which is fair enough. so how about she heads over and in a month or two you head over for a 2 week vacation or something? if she really does love you then i don't see why she'd have a problem with yuo either coming with her or heading over and visiting while she's there.

or ya could just wait for teh 12 months which will be hard on you but maybe worth it coz this lass will come back and you'll have the good job, but can ya last the 12 months.

LegacyUser

My czech girlfriend just moved back to her home a few weeks ago to finish her college course. She's going to be there for a year, but we'll be visiting each other on and off and shes coming back for the summer.. But its a real feeling of empty for both of us since she left.. and we're talking on MSN everyday, texting and at night talking on webcams.

If the love is there, you could go the 12 months, but it'll be depressing at times.

dr.bollocko

Gee yeah. A place to work... that must be more difficult to give up than love. Thank god I have my job to keep me warm late at night.

No... wait....

Ruu_Old

Don't do the long distance thing if you aren't up for it, otherwise it'll end up in tears for one or both of ye. I would drop work and go ahead travelling if I was you, thats just my opinion. If that is not possible, then go over for a visit sometime between there to split up the time.

akw_old

its just a job mate. drop it, go travelling.
if it is a good job they should be able to give you a few months leave, otherwise quit. you can always get another job.

Húrin

Don't break this off, you're blessed to be in love. I know you need a job and all, but come on - life is for living (and loving!), not working.

Chinafoot

If she hasn't made any concrete plans on the issue then you shouldn't either. She might change her mind and stay here as can often happen when people end up in serious relationships. A friend of mine was all set to come to Australia with me four years ago but she fell in love in the months beforehand and decided to stay as it wasn't possible for him to come with us at the time. (They've recently bought a house together btw so I guess she made the right choice)

Unless she has the tickets booked I don't see any reason to stress over this and I most definitely wouldn't be considering breaking up. You love her and she loves you so enjoy the relationship.

As for worrying about your job, qualifications can often come second to experience and you also shouldn't underestimate how good a years travel can look on your CV.

Fobia

I think you should go. Wouldn't you rather end up earning slightly less and have all those memories rather than stay behind, potentially lose someone you love, potentially lose one of the best experiences of your life, all for a few more grand a year?

That makes me sound very pro-the travelling choice, and it should do - it's the right choice

LegacyUser

'Thanks everyone, my mind is set, im going, best quote I have ever heard
" Life is for living (and loving!), not working "'