Advice please

LegacyUser

Hopefully someone can give me some advice.

I'm in long distance relationship and everything is going great. I absolutely adore my partner and would do anything for them. Ok so problem is we live in different countries and have talked about moving. At the moment i have a great job, all my friends and most important my family which i am really really close to as in i text them and ring them everyday.

My partner on the other hand hasn't gotten the best job very very few friends and also doesn't get on well with family which consists of mother and sister, both of which well they hardly talk at all.

Ok so now i have said i would give up everything, job, friends, family and move but my partner would even consider it coming over to me. Have spoken to a few people and they have all said that my parnter should be willing to even try 6 months with me and if things don't work out then move back.

Don't know what to do or how to approach this subject. What do you guys think am i being selfish in asking my partner to try and move here for 6 months to try it out. What would you do in my suitation?

Thank you in advance

hunnymonster

Only you guys can figure out what is best for you.

From what you've said it does sound like the most sensible thing is for him to move to you but the reality could be more dificult. Is he entitled to work in your country? Are there language issues? Are his skills required where you are. How many friends has he made when coming to visit you? (and vice vearsa for you in his country)

I'm currently in a similar situation. Our plan is for me to move to him. I have good friends and a great paying job here but he has family and a job he loves there.

There is nothing selfish about discussing all the possibilities. I woudn't worry about the correct way to bring it up. Just ask him straight out how he would feel about moving. I'm sure once the conversation starts you'll spent hours talking it all through.

Lust4Life

I agree. If you are secure enough in your relationship to be discussing the idea of living together, then you ought to be secure enough to thoroughly discuss your feelings about how logical it is to have the other come to you.

Is your love able to look for work in your location while still living in their own location?

Just be open and loving and I'm sure things will be fine.

LegacyUser

'There are no language barriers or illegal reason. My partner is allowed to work here legally. And its not a case of me being worried about the security of the relationship its the fact i have talked about this a lot and if i bring it up again i may end up annoying my partner.'

hunnymonster

So what has he said. Does he not want to move? What is his reasoning?

Ishindar

i went through this a few years ago and my now wife moved here from another country.
first of all you both need to decide that ye want to live together.
you both also need to concede to each other that u will move to the others country if necessary(if your partner is not prepared to do this then he/she does not love u).
both of ye make a pros and cons list for both scenarios. The one that has the most pros and least cons looking at the long term is the country that ye should live in.
if u do this process together its a joint decision rather than something that is kinda forced on.

biko

How about a third country? You would both make new friends and new careers together.

Or, you could have him over here for a year and you promise to go over there for a year and then decide on your, his or a third country.

dooloo

by the looks of it he's got nothing to lose by moving over here with no friends and crap job whereas you'd be giving up a lot more. dont tell him you'd move over to him in a year's time as that wouldnt make sense.

dont let it lie. keep giving gentle hints and asking him basically. it's not being selfish. if you were in his situation you'd move so let's see how serious he really is.