"It's not you, It's me"

Muzzy

I am breaking it off with my girlfriend of 3 months, it's not a long time together so that's why I'm breaking it off sooner rather than later, much easier.

Thing is, I know well that this is not gonna be a good one coz the girl really does love me, and this will be a hugh deal for her.

My reason for breaking it off is basically, I want to be single. I finally have week-ends off, I worked pubs every weekend since I was 16. I'm now 22.

I want to be able to go out, meet new people, be with other girls, and to go out with another girl.

My girlfriend is Polish which didn't make any difference to me at the start but it means alot now and is part of the reason why I want to end it e.g, lads comming up to me asking personal questions about her, and "What are they like?", basically questions that I never get asked with Irish ex's.

As I work in the Insurance business, her friends are asking her to ask me to do loads for them, my girlfriend is too nice to say no. And other things like translating CVs and cover letters for ALL her friend is really getting me sick.

But apart from that stuff, she is a lovely girl who is gonna feel really crap after this. I don't wanna hurt her or lead her on. In the last month, I'm always telling her lies, beginning to break promises regularly and have already done the dirt once. She deserves way better than me. Its not very fair at all.

Folks any recomendations for breaking it off gently.

shoutman

Simple, Just tell her you have found someone else and call him Johnny, she'll understand....

P.S. I am being serious.

Nevyn

Get her a going away present and when she asks why tell her that she is going out of your life.

BackwardRussia

Tell her you are a space alien and have to return to your home planet immediately.

amazingemmet

Thaedydal wrote:

Get her a going away present and when she asks why tell her that she is going out of your life.

Thats a good one, gonna remember that one.

Though there is a chance that the present could be thrown back at your head so make sure its something soft like a teddy.

Why not just tell her the truth?

LegacyUser

'

shoutman wrote:

Simple, Just tell her you have found someone else and call him Johnny, she'll understand....

P.S. I am being serious.

Don't say that if you will ever see her out or something, because she will see you with girls.

Don't mention other people and don't say you want to see other people because that will hurt her a lot.'

irishpartyboy

Seriously mate it's only 3 months, hardly a long term relationship.

Relationships dont work out every day of the week, people break up and move on its as simple as that.

However I would suggest a little bit of tact, you never know when you might want to go back there in the future

Fanny Cradock

Thaedydal wrote:

Get her a going away present and when she asks why tell her that she is going out of your life.

That's horrible.

There's no easy way of doing it- be honest. Just remember that you are doing her a favour in the long run. That's an insult, btw.

4Xcut

How about something like:

My reason for breaking it off is basically, I want to be single. I finally have week-ends off, I worked pubs every weekend since I was 16. I'm now 22.

I want to be able to go out, meet new people, be with other girls, and to go out with another girl.

Rb

Fanny Cradock wrote:

That's horrible.

There's no easy way of doing it- be honest. Just remember that you are doing her a favour in the long run. That's an insult, btw.

I agree, just be honest with her. No need to tell her you did the dirt on her though, or about the lies, just tell her you're not ready for anything so serious/want to try being single for a while with your new found freedom from work.

You said you want to be single afterall, which is absolutely fair and its certainly unfair (to the other party) to remain in a relationship when you're feeling that way.

Good luck with it.

LundiMardi

Thaedydal wrote:

Get her a going away present and when she asks why tell her that she is going out of your life.

Thaedydal, unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Lundimardi


Sorry i couldn't resist!

killeoin

Sorry bud, I don't mean to be cruel but reading your initial post it does seem that maybe shes just using you? Doing things for all her friends?? I dunno the full situation and I certainly don't mean to offend you but I just thought since no one else mentioned it I might say it. Only you know that yourself, If its equal in terms of giving and taking then ok but if its not then maybe you're right to be rid?

Also its only 3 months, I once had a friend going with a girl for that long...She just stopped answering her calls and txting him. Not the nicest and I wouldn't recommend but you don't have to write her a poem, a simple txt should do the trick:)

Rb

Thaedydal wrote:

Get her a going away present and when she asks why tell her that she is going out of your life.

hrmm, good one

Or, just buy her a vibrator/dildo and tell her to take a hint or something along the lines of "You'll be needing this where you're going....out of my life" or some other variation.

Nevyn

The op is clearly looking for a way to bring the topic up rather then being a
sly coward and just freezing her out of his life.

The gift will raise the topic and help ease his guilt.

Rb

Thaedydal wrote:

The op is clearly looking for a way to bring the topic up rather then being a
sly coward and just freezing her out of his life.

The gift will raise the topic and help ease his guilt.

Yeah, I really think just sitting her down and being open and honest about the situation is the best move. Of course theres no need to mention some things, no point in rubbing salt in the raw wound so to speak, but just telling her the truth about being wanting to be single right now etc.

Freezing her out/ ignoring her/ leading her on is a horrible way to go alright, would definately really hurt her and theres no need to add more pain to what will already be a hurtful situation.

Anyway, best of luck with it OP and enjoy your soon to be single life.

daiixi

Yup one thing people have to remember is that no matter how much someone will be hurt when you break up with them, that hurt is magnified if you lie or are sly about it. She may be hurt OP when you break up with her but give her the courtesy of doing it to her face. Sooner rather than later.

Fanny Cradock

However you go about it, make sure to say nothing about doing the dirt on her. This would cause hurt beyond an 'ordinary' break-up.

Muzzy

OK fokes, just to fill yis in, I did it, broke off with her tonight.

Wasn't easy but I did take some comfort and advice from the thread. Some one said be honest and qouted my OP, 4Xcut I think it was you, that basically what I did.

Wasn't easy but I'm glad I did it, there was no crying(thank God!!) just a lot of silence and starring. Hated doing it but man, the relief! Ending sooner rather than 6/7 months down the line is way better.

I unfortunitly, "we can still be friends" and "It's not you, it's all me" puked outta my mouth, I never felt like such a goomey in all my life after saying those cliché!!

The thing that surprised me most was how fast the news travelled around the town, within 15min of telling three people, the amount of girls that came up asking me if I was OK was unreal, roll on the single life!!

MojoMaker

Jusr curious, but why the f*ck did you go out with her in the first place?

Muzzy

MojoMaker wrote:

Jusr curious, but why the f*ck did you go out with her in the first place?

Well I wasn't expecting the things that happened to happen in the first place.

And......., She was HOT!

I just met her about 10mins ago, was dreading the next morning talk, she just returning all my stuff, even the christmas presents I bought her. I made her keep them, all I wanted was my DVDs back.

Wasn't too bad, little chat, a little hug......., a little cry. 15 minutes with her, was nice to see she is taking it alright; much better than I expected, hopefully she's the same when I'm not infront of her.

She's working tonight, she had it off but didn't wanna be out so she swapped it with one of her workmates, at least she is with her workmates and friends for the count down.

Cheers folks, and happy New-Years

littlebitdull

Sorry to burst your bubble mate .. .but are you really so **** hot that this woman is going to be heartbroken after three months?

Rb

littlebitdull wrote:

Sorry to burst your bubble mate .. .but are you really so **** hot that this woman is going to be heartbroken after three months?

Theres not exactly a set time in which people fall for one another you know. It could be a day, or it could be a year.