Do parents buy stuff for kids out of guilt?

silverharp

Do parents buy stuff for kids out of guilt on the assumption that parents are time poor and cash rich? I hear commentators say this from time to time but is there any truth in it? I have a strong conviction that it's better for your kids to spend time with them then to buy them stuff
At the same time I have come across mothers at work who spend at least 12 hours a day at work and commuting and then at the same time bring their kids on shopping trips to NY etc. I can't judge them not knowing the full situations.

dame

I would say some probably do but aren't likely to admit it. I know I always bring my little one back something if I'm away for a few days for work (which I am from time to time). On the shopping trips to NY thing.....I personally would feel that there's no point in bringing young kids to NY (or anywhere) for a shopping trip. It'd be far better to bring them camping or Disneyland or somewhere that kids would actually enjoy. Teenagers would of course far prefer to go to NY shopping but if these women's kids are younger than that I would think that the mother's want a shopping trip themselves and bring the young kids along out of guilt at leaving them. What little child wants to traipse around shops for a few days? Madness!

littlebitdull

I think parents do indeed buy kids stuff out of guilt. They also seem to buy stuff out of a belief that kids must have all the latest things or they will be bullied and left out.

I am sure most parents know that time spent with children is more important than however amount of goods they present them with.

But I would guess these mothers who spend 12 hours a day at work justify it by saying they need to work to buy the kids the stuff they must have.. and so the circle continues.

Children by their very nature are needy and want everything the television advertisers tell them they should have.

But not one child has ever been harmed by the word NO.

Whereas many many children are harmed by the constant use of the word YES.

TempestSabre

silverharp wrote:

Do parents buy stuff for kids out of guilt on the assumption that parents are time poor and cash rich? ....can't judge them not knowing the full situations.

You've answered your own question.

Gaspode

Some do, some dont. We've probalby all done it to some degree at some stage, but some people do it big time.

McGinty

I know plenty of stay at home mums who buy their kids what they want so I don't think it is just for that reason. There is huge pressure from kids and parents to buy the latest gadgets, fad etc and I think some parents buy for this reason, I know at times I have bought for this reason, sad really, but decided at Christmas that my son was not getting another type of games console and only spent a small amount, he accepted it, but at the same time he was very dissapointed, I realise he needs to learn dissapointment now rather than later, whereas a lot of his friends got all what they wanted but they are not any happier. With the rampant commericalism and material approach to living, choosing an alternative is swimming totally against the tide, it is worth it but it is very, very hard.

Trinity

Yes. My son is 6 and i am only now beginning to realise its guilt for his fathers actions not mine.

I am with him all the time. He comes everywhere with me. I only work while he is in school.

His father on the other hand has only seen him a handful of times and I was riddled with guilt that i couldnt give him what he really wanted which was his dad to come see him (he would rarely but has since left the country).

Over the last couple of years has stopped sending him xmas and birthday presents so i tried to make up for his absence by trying to make him as happy as possible.

unfortunately it backfired badly. He is spoiled, really really spoiled. He has no respect for me or anything i have bought, xbox, playstation, gameboy, nintendo you name it, he has it. He gets smaller toys or games every other week so xmas was no big deal to him.

Its going to be a lot harder to reverse the damage i have done.

Ah if only i could turn back the clock. :rolleyes:

Twinkle-star15

I just think surprise presents are insane! If the kid doesn't know they're getting a present, and they're not really getting it for any reason, what's the point of getting them one? They'd be just as happy without it!

Maybe this is just me, but I never really noticed when I was younger if someone had way more barbies or way less teddies or whatever than me unless someone specifically pointed it out.