Boyf Problems

LegacyUser

i have been goin out with my boyfriend for about a year now and for the first good few months we were mad about each other.

then we hit a rocky patch a few months ago and havent properly recovered since. or should i say i havent. he bounced back to normal but i just dont know if i can get back to the way we were. and im pretty sure i love him and would love to be able to get back to the good times but ive tried and for some reason im not sure if i can.

im just wonderin do you think i should just get over it and move on or stick with him? and i know i should be able to answer this myself but i just don't know!

i dont want to be leadin him along for too long while im trying to figure myself out but im just goin around in circles. im mid teens if that makes any difference...

he's a great guy, like, he'd do anything for me but im just not sure if im there anymore.

please any advice and sorry if i sound like a moan!

StormWarrior

I was in exactly the same situation. Take a break from him for a while. If, during that time, you miss him terribly and feel miserable, take him back. If you feel happy without him, then break up permanently.

Ruu_Old

Would you be able to manage without him? Ask him for a bit of space, time to think and figure out why you both got together in the first place. Maybe that will help you get over your issues.

LegacyUser

I was in the same situation, and I stuck with him. But it just kept going downhill. Three years later, I found myself sickened by the sight of him.
If your hearts not in it, leave it. It's not fair on either of you.
Think about being away from him. Does it make you feel ok/bad?
Only you know the answer.

LegacyUser

im just like if i end it "what if" u know??! ah im so all over the place.

LegacyUser

Then suggest taking a break. Tell him you need time to sort out your head, but you still care about him and you don't wanna break up with him completely

LegacyUser

yea but we've had time apart and i was kinda pretty ok with it and we've broken up briefly before due to this and i have a feeling we got back together due to being used to it. he's offering the world to me and i dont know wheter to give it another try or not?

LegacyUser

quote: 'he's offering the world to me'

I think that might be a bit of the problem... there's not much challenge for you anymore perhaps. Personally, I'd be totally scared off a guy if he was always there for me+ would do ANYTHING for me. A bit of uncertainty keeps things more interesting.

Talliesin

Ruu wrote:

Would you be able to manage without him?

Any healthy person can manage without any other particular person.

"I can't live without you" is grand for trashy novels (even one or two good novels, but nobody with the skill to write Wuthering Heights would have done so once she'd grown up) but not a good sign in real life.

Rather I'd say, a good relationship makes both of you more than you are on your own. It's not a matter of life-and-death or being able to cope, it's a matter of whether that person makes you able to be more of yourself.

A bad relationship makes you less of yourself, and I think most people have at least witnessed such sorry situations.

Of course a real relationship is a complicated thing and can be mostly good with some bad. A dead relationship has little or none of the good stuff though.

killeoin

Finish it. Trust me, you've prob heard it before but if ur unhappy now you're never gonna be. Same thing happened to me, Stuck with it and now I have a horrible gut feeling that I wasted 6 years of my life with somebody I don't get on with and don't even like at this stage. Thats the worst feeling. Just be brave, you'll get your reward!

dame

OP, Just finish it. You'll spare his feelings slightly if you do it now rather than in a years' time and save yourself the pretence. If you're in your mid-teens then I'm guessing you're still in school. You probably won't believe me but you'll meet an awful lot of people in the next few years when you go off to college or work...if you're still tied to someone you're not really that pushed about then you will feel caged and resentful and will dump him eventually anyway. Trust me, I was that girl and he took it very badly that I went off to college and "thought he wasn't good enough for my new friends" as he took to be the problem. You'll most likely have a few more boyfriends before you find "the one". Every break-up causes pain for someone, it's just a fact of life.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the advice guys. Even though i was so confused, when push came to shove i did what deep down i knew i needed to and i think its for the best.

Patricide

I say stick with the guy love aint all fun and games it takes work, the reason that theres so much divorce now days is just cause people are too lazy to work at somthing if it isnt perfect first time. I mean its meant to be for better or for worse(even if your not married, which you obviously arent).

Talk about stuff , talking can sort out nearly any problems you have.