messed up

crazycatgone

hi dont know how to say this without sounding crazy as i feel. i need help. ive tried everything and nothing works. bout two years ago i met this girl, things were great for the first few months and we were madly in love. however as time went on she got odder and more demanding. ppl in my family turned crazy (long story) and she mad me pick her over them... i lost contact, thankfully tbh, with them. She got pregnant. once again we were both delighted but after about 2 months she went insane and unbeearable. we broke up despite her still living in my flat. i kinda just put things down to hormones from the pregnancy. she made my life hell for the pregnancy and beyond. i wasnt allowed buy food / cds/ anything or id be a bad father etc. i bought all the baby stuff and had to pay her money during the pregnancy too.
She went in to labour at mine and we had the most beautiful baby boy who i adore. she treated me awfully throughout the whole affair the baby was 5 hours before anyone bothered to tell me despite the fact i was in the waiting room. she instantly moved out and back toher folks and after she left hospital it was nearly a month before i saw him again. shed say you can visit and id get a message when i was just there saying not to bother.

this went on for months and months and our relationship deteriorated so much i went to court for access guardianship etc... the minute she got summanced she went on a total rampage harrased my family, friends, work colleagues and clients. as a result i lost a job, my family disowned me cos she caused a lot of trouble. ive spent the last two xmas's alone.

I won the courtcase hands down,
the problem is im still crazy in love with her. shes moved on and has had bout ten bf's since even proclaiming that some of them were my childs new father and often had them there with her when im bringing the child back and parading her new happy family in front of me. ok i admit i didnt take to that too well and reacted badly and had screaming matches with these guys (scumbags- i would sayy that, but there was a dealer, an addict and a sex offender who she had to ring me to rescue from). its spilled on to bebo and threats made both ways. i aint a voilent person and i wouldnt harm a fly.

ive been really depressed for 2 years too. ive seen pschiatrists, counsellors, medication aint worked. i really feel **** and im madly in love with someone i hate, does that make sense? im totally confused. i dont know what to do

Ruu_Old

Well, do you know for sure that you are the father? sorry if I missed something. She is hurting you and it seems you are coming back for more. Concentrate on the little one, look after him and love him. That might make things easier on you to drop this girl. Get your life back and start it now.

crazycatgone

hes definetly mine.. looks just like me poor kid!

LundiMardi

you seem to bring all this on yourself to be honest. Why do you need to have any contact with her apart from when collecting and returning your son?

If she rings you looking for help, then ignore her. Soon enough she'll stop ringing.

LegacyUser

'First of all you need to find a new girl. Have you been with anyone since her? If you haven't, my guess is you're so in love with her because it's what you're used to and you know nothing else.
Secondly you gotta look out for your kid. That woman is not someone who should be responsible for a baby. The important person here is the baby.
You sound like a really nice guy, so try and move on. But I think you should really stop helping her any time she calls, she's taking you for a ride, she knows you'll do it and she's totally abusing your good nature.'

Trinity

It sounds like you are just clinging to the first few months which were good with her. Its would also be natural to have a bond with the woman who bore your child.

Particularly as the crazy family situation and that its hard to forgt the good times. BUT You have to see the situation for what it is and her for what she is.

I think you have to move on too. Have minimal contact with her and only in relation to the child.

Its a very difficult situation where kids are involved and the best you can do is to keep things civil for his sake.

It wont be easy but it can be done. You just have to pick yourself up and brush yourself off. Get another job, make new friends etc and be as good a father as you can be in the circumstances.

This girl doesnt sound like she is worth your time to be honest, i am sure you can do better and deserve better - i think most of us do.

crazycatgone

thx guys, its been a tough one..... somethings are harder to do.

AngryBadger

MAn, I dunno how anyone could put up with even half that crap. Fair dews, you must have a brass pair.

Obviously this woman has issues of her own, sounds to me like she was manipulating you, especially with the child. Now she's still trying to do that, but it's not working.

I doubt anything will ever come of what the two of you had before, not unless she deals with her own ****, and you can't do that for her.

The little fella is the only person you should be fighting for here, and I think you should be preparing to take that fight to the wall. Your son is major leverage for this woman, and she sound like someone who will use that as much as she can.

For yourself I'd say go talk to a councillor. A friend of mine started going to one recently, and he says it was one of the best things he's ever done.

If you do go, and I know that's another tough step to take, tell them everything you just told us, a good councillor can really help you see other ways out of s situation.

And once again, fair dews man, what you're dealing with takes serious courage.

theluckyduck

Sorry to hear about this dude, ya seem like a descent guy!
I went through a messy break up a while back (no kid involved though) and well i always loved sport so to keep my mind off my troubles i began to train, small bit at first but evenrually up to about 6 days a week 2-3 hours a day (still train 6 days a week!!). I found that this really gave me a huge confidence boost and made me realise that i was capable of getting over anything (kinda cheesey i know!!).

Anyways this helped me, might not be your cup of tea but focus on something positive in your life and work at it!!

Take care man!!

Black Swan

Look out for your son, and start a new life.

py2006

Wow, thats a really tough situation to be in! I feel for ya dude! I especially feel very sorry for that poor child!

I suggest refrain from reacting to this woman at all! Refrain from having a go at her boyfriends and getting involved with screaming matches with her! The only reason she does it is because she gets the reaction out of you!

Try moving on and meeting somebody else! Above all else remain a good father to your child as I am sure you are.