Any nice way to tell someone to F*** off?

LegacyUser

I've had this friend for about 2 years now. He has his own group of friends and I have my own group of friends aswell Always been that way. Anyway for the past 6 months he is seriously annoying me, and doesn't get the message that I don't wanna hang around with him any more. He is actually causing me stress, yet still keeps contacting me anyway possible, txt, phone, bebo, email, calling to my house, etc.

I've tried ignoring him and hoping he would get the message but it's not working, and I need to sort this out soon. The old saying you have to be cruel to be kind comes to mind. Any advice appreciated thanks.

TheBlock

**** Off....you Sound Like A Complete Twat.

There you go was that nice??


Thought not....

Pigman II

Use reverse psychology. Invite him out to the pub tonight and tell him (& make it clear) you like him a lot, and when I say a lot I mean *A LOT*

dudara

The Block Please read the charter. Helpful posts only please.

dudara

Miss Fluff

In what way is he annoying you? Is he simply getting on your nerves? What has happened that you don't want to see him anymore?

PS - anyone who uses bebo:rolleyes: asks for this kind of trouble in a way.

py2006

You sound quite childish to be honest! I take it your in your early teens if your using bebo etc.

From what you have explained this friend has done nothing wrong other than trying to be a friend.

If you only make yourself available to meet up once a month or something then they will move on.

I don't recommend telling a person to F off.

lilrayosunshine

If you no longer want to be friends with someone and they are not taking the hint(s) then gently easing him out of your life is the only way to go.
Do not make first contact with him
reply to his texts but do not ask any questions
eg if he texts you saying "how are you?" just reply with how you actually are (good/great/alright etc) do not ask how he is.
Do not reply to his texts if there was no question.
Do not reply to his emails if there was no question.

He will pick up on this and may raise it with you so be prepared to explain why you no longer wish to be his friend.

Being two faced and wanting to tell him to fu(k off but still being nice to his face is not good for you or him.

StormWarrior

It would help if we knew why you don't want to be friends any more.

doctor evil

Make your bebo page private (if it isn`t already) and block him.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies so far.

The reason I don't want to be friends with him any more is basically the fact that he never stops boasting. About every single aspect of his life. He thinks he's the best at everything. We don't even get on at all any more, we both annoy the feck out of each other and I don't know why he keeps contacting me. Sometimes I think it's deliberately to annoy me.

Thanks lilrayosunshine for your reply but I have been ignoring his bebo messages/text messages, not answering his phone calls, not answering the door when he calls, nothing - even when he asks me a question I still ignore him. But he just doesn't get it. I've been doing this for well over a month now. Since around halloween actually.

I don't believe I'm being 2-faced, I'm trying not to be anyway. I know it's a horrible thing telling someone to f**k off, especially around this time of year but I'm all out of ideas and it's really beginning to bother me.

StormWarrior

OK, just say something like, "Look, we don't get on anymore and there is no point trying to be friends when we're really not. I have been trying to ignore you but you clearly don't get the message. Please do not contact me again."

If you really don't want to see him any more, you will just have to spit it out. If you don't like him any moe then don't care what he thinks about it. You really have to tell him, it's only fair.

StormWarrior

If you don't want to say it face to face, just text!

LegacyUser

'If you really want to cut ties you have to be honest and straighforward with him. He will respect that and so will you respect yourself more for knowing you have the courage to be honest this boosts your confidence regarding control in friendships and present/future relationships.
Breaking links with friends for newer friends is definately something you need to examine. I have never lost contact with my friends and I don't intend to say I don't like you anymore for the sake of my updated social diary.
Why have you become tired of your former friend? It just comes across as a triffle vague perhaps childish if I may add. Hmmm confusing.
Umm, why would you wanna us the f word aswell? Has the friend done something to upset you/ or do you just simply dislike him/her based on standards you have achieved with your new social group?'

haunted-room

People have done that "ignore him and he'll go away" thing with me in the past. It can be very upsetting, especially if you dont realise what youve done wrong or if youve done anything wrong. I would have prefered if they told me face to face that they wanted to cut contact with me instead of talking behind my back and treating me like sh1t.
Do the right thing and talk to him about it

LegacyUser

notlikethat! wrote:

'If you really want to cut ties you have to be honest and straighforward with him. He will respect that and so will you respect yourself more for knowing you have the courage to be honest this boosts your confidence regarding control in friendships and present/future relationships.
Breaking links with friends for newer friends is definately something you need to examine. I have never lost contact with my friends and I don't intend to say I don't like you anymore for the sake of my updated social diary.
Why have you become tired of your former friend? It just comes across as a triffle vague perhaps childish if I may add. Hmmm confusing.
Umm, why would you wanna us the f word aswell? Has the friend done something to upset you/ or do you just simply dislike him/her based on standards you have achieved with your new social group?'

Vague & childish? Maybe it's a shock to you, but sometimes people just don't get on any more. The reason I feel like using the F word is I'm getting really sick of him bothering me with txts, phone calls, calls to my house EVERY SINGLE DAY, etc. and not getting the message that I don't wanna hang around with him any more. I suppose the explanation of it is simply a clash of personalities.

I'm a very outgoing person, I love going out to parties, gigs, pubs, clubs, festivals etc, getting completely wasted, etc but he's a lot more serious. Rarely drinks, rarely goes out, studies a lot, etc. Every time I see him (which is very rare these days) he criticises me and tells me going to pubs, gigs, etc is such a waste of money. And that drink is really bad for your health and also a waste of money and bla bla bla. (I only drink once, maybe twice a week on a fri/sat night). He moans so much to the point it was stressing me out.

It's not a case of, as you put it "updating my social diary". I don't care about my social diary. I'm a fairly easy going person and get on with the majority of people I meet, he's actually the only person I can think of who I don't get on with.

BackwardRussia

He probably knows hes annoying ya mate but still wants to be your friend, and it looks like hes not taking the hints after 2 months then youll just have to come straight out and tell him to back off and leave you alone. I wouldnt go into why personally, that would make him angry being told hes a whiney annoying bastard and might start a fight.

daithimac

as people grow up they can sometimes grow apart.
try giving him a dose of his own medicine.
you know call him up and call him a nerd or virgin or what ever, eventualy he will get the message and either stop calling or modify his own beaviour.
as the good book says "do unto others as they would do unto you"

Killaqueen!!!

I'm surprised so many people think it's horrible that you don't want to be friends with him any more. People grow up differently so I'm not surprised this guys annoying you - it's happened to me before too.

It should be YOUR choice who YOU hang around with so if he's not getting the message try and lay it down gently to him - just talk to him, man.

LegacyUser

TIEC wrote:

Vague & childish? Maybe it's a shock to you, but sometimes people just don't get on any more. The reason I feel like using the F word is I'm getting really sick of him bothering me with txts, phone calls, calls to my house EVERY SINGLE DAY, etc. and not getting the message that I don't wanna hang around with him any more. I suppose the explanation of it is simply a clash of personalities.

I'm a very outgoing person, I love going out to parties, gigs, pubs, clubs, festivals etc, getting completely wasted, etc but he's a lot more serious. Rarely drinks, rarely goes out, studies a lot, etc. Every time I see him (which is very rare these days) he criticises me and tells me going to pubs, gigs, etc is such a waste of money. And that drink is really bad for your health and also a waste of money and bla bla bla. (I only drink once, maybe twice a week on a fri/sat night). He moans so much to the point it was stressing me out.

It's not a case of, as you put it "updating my social diary". I don't care about my social diary. I'm a fairly easy going person and get on with the majority of people I meet, he's actually the only person I can think of who I don't get on with.

I was not fully sure and since you put it that way, I guess he does need to hear straight forward as he has been quite straight forward in pointing out his distaste to you.
Live your youth while you are young. You sound quite young. Don't let anyone pull you down with their moaning, youth is too brief.

the_syco

Invite him to a pub for a quite chat about his recent behaviour... and don't turn up. When he texts you asking where you are, just text back that you want no more contact from him, and if he continues to harass you, you'll call the Gardai. Simple as.

Steve01

If he annoys you that much tell him to piss off. You're entitled to choose the people you wanna be friends with and this guy isn't one of them. Don't be disheartened if he takes it badly or thinks less of you, at least he won't be annoying you any more. Hopefully...

Bob the Builder

Oh God, I thought I'd never find it...Someone in the same position as I am... Except mine has been goin on for 2years now..in the same forms of communication...

Well my advice is: Be truthful. If ye have a fight, don't be afraid to plot out a little hint. The truth is, you really are being two-faced... you might as well tell him what you really think of him... and in all fairness, if he's seeing the same as you are, he'll take the hint... And if he has a habit of insulting you, or insulting you in front of other people, don't be afraid to throw back a well witted reply to him, and get a bit of control of him.
I can safely say that the only reason you don't like him, is because he's turned into a complete gob****e and taken control of the friendship, basically, being "da boss" in what you say or do...

And if you be a gob****e to him, and if you meet fire with fire on him, it should help sort out your frienmdship for the better. It may noit help you like him anymore, but it will leave a bigger gap to escape...

Like for example: My friend used to call me "wee-man" in front of every single girl he liked so that he could look cool, then he would say "I suppose that mean you have a wee-brain also?"...I never replied to any of his comments(big mistake).....well not until, two years later, then when he called me wee-man, I turned around, and said "I suppose your right Michael, I am small...Well small in comparison to your tits!"....He got so insulted that he never spoke to me for three weeks(long time imo), and I have never been called wee-man ever again!

..and more important advice: When he begins annoying you, don't give negative body language to him, showing that he's just won... Stand up straight when he says anything, laugh at him, and walk in the other direction. Show zero interest but keep laughing, don't argue!...It gets them every time!

The_B_Man

TIEC wrote:

Thanks lilrayosunshine for your reply but I have been ignoring his bebo messages/text messages, not answering his phone calls, not answering the door when he calls, nothing - even when he asks me a question I still ignore him. But he just doesn't get it. I've been doing this for well over a month now. Since around halloween actually.

ya ever see that episode of father ted with ur man, father stone i think it is? :P


anyway, just kepp ignorin him. dont be rude.


have a little respect and common sense. ignore him (ye i know wat i jsut said) and he'll soon get the hint. be strong, mofo! just dont bother wit him. he will adapt and get new mates to annoy. ur obviously done with him. get on with it.


in fairness tho, i realise the guilt that'll prob be involved. i have no feelin for this person so i say just ignore him. dunno wat else i can say to ya, except give it until ur in ur 20's and ppl tend to get hints a lot better!

daiixi

The_B_Man wrote:

anyway, just kepp ignorin him. dont be rude.

Because ignoring him isn't rude? Seriously how difficult is it to text someone and say "Sorry, I don't want to be your friend anymore. Please leave me alone." ??

nobodythere

I have had a similar problem not too long ago.

You can just stir the pot so to speak, provoke some arguments until ye explode at each other and he leaves feeling pissed off instead of hurt.

Unfortunately I ignored someone without any explanation and now it's too late to do any explaining without badly hurting their feelings

Savman

the_syco wrote:

and if he continues to harass you, you'll call the Gardai. Simple as.

What?!?! "Officer I'd like to make a report about a mate of mine who keeps harassing cos I don't want to be his bud anymore"

Cop on :mad:

To the OP, most of the time people are fairly good at taking hints. If he hasn't gotten the message I would guess its because you haven't stood firm. Telling him to F*** Off will make things so much worse, and telling him you don't like him anymore etc etc won't help much either.

It's obvious you don't care about his views on drinking etc. but that's what friends are for, to tell you things you don't always want to hear. And in this instance he's actually right. Drinking is a total waste of money, so don't use that as an excuse to get rid of him.

If he doesn't take subtle hints, blank him totally. Although if I was him, I'd be blanking you for such poor treatment.

Approach it like an adult and for god's sake do not resort to immature insults or threats no matter what is said.

Or you could do as the_syco suggests and arrange to meet him for a pint, stand him up like a tool then threaten to have him arrested by the Guards. :rolleyes:

Sully

Having similar issues here with a certain group of friends which I moved away from. Some turned into gob****es, others are grand and id say hello to, one is me ex-gf who for some reason just cant seem to accept I moved on into a new relationship (with someone iv liked for years, may I add ) and new friends. Strangley, she broke up with me for another fella - and he likes to be an arse by making comments when he sees me, posting comments on other peoples Bebo accounts about me knowing it will get back to me, getting the odd prank call to me etc. Most of the group seem to have accepted the change but why they stand around and let others keep bringing me up etc - espicaly the exs bf - is very strange and seems unhealthy to me. I personaly would find it very strange if my gf was yapping about her exs and wanting to get me to harras them, prank them etc! Exs are just that - and are in the past. No longer present or future. Similar issue you have, and thats the point that needs to be made. That was the past and the future is ahead of you now - withOUT him. Whether he likes it or not.

For me, I just made sure they were aware if the comments continued and I kept getting harrased id make a complaint to both the college authorities and the guards. Perhaps this is what you need to do? Make it clear you moved away from him and want nothing further to do with him. Make the point if he keeps at you, you will be forced to contact the guards as it upseting you?

Might be extreme, but would get the point across and hopefully stop this behaviour going on? I would recommend however, you do try and sit him down in a pub or some public place. Explain why your upset, and that you no longer want anything to do with him and ask him to just lay of or else you will be left with no choice but ot be forced to take things further.

Hope that helps. Good Luck!

Sully

nevf wrote:

Oh God, I thought I'd never find it...Someone in the same position as I am... Except mine has been goin on for 2years now..in the same forms of communication...

Well my advice is: Be truthful. If ye have a fight, don't be afraid to plot out a little hint. The truth is, you really are being two-faced... you might as well tell him what you really think of him... and in all fairness, if he's seeing the same as you are, he'll take the hint... And if he has a habit of insulting you, or insulting you in front of other people, don't be afraid to throw back a well witted reply to him, and get a bit of control of him.
I can safely say that the only reason you don't like him, is because he's turned into a complete gob****e and taken control of the friendship, basically, being "da boss" in what you say or do...

And if you be a gob****e to him, and if you meet fire with fire on him, it should help sort out your frienmdship for the better. It may noit help you like him anymore, but it will leave a bigger gap to escape...

Like for example: My friend used to call me "wee-man" in front of every single girl he liked so that he could look cool, then he would say "I suppose that mean you have a wee-brain also?"...I never replied to any of his comments(big mistake).....well not until, two years later, then when he called me wee-man, I turned around, and said "I suppose your right Michael, I am small...Well small in comparison to your tits!"....He got so insulted that he never spoke to me for three weeks(long time imo), and I have never been called wee-man ever again!

..and more important advice: When he begins annoying you, don't give negative body language to him, showing that he's just won... Stand up straight when he says anything, laugh at him, and walk in the other direction. Show zero interest but keep laughing, don't argue!...It gets them every time!

Great post. Sometimes it takes someone who has been in this kind of situation to offer the best advise.

Stabshauptmann

haunted-room wrote:

People have done that "ignore him and he'll go away" thing with me in the past. It can be very upsetting, especially if you dont realise what youve done wrong or if youve done anything wrong. I would have prefered if they told me face to face that they wanted to cut contact with me instead of talking behind my back and treating me like sh1t.
Do the right thing and talk to him about it

Nail. Hammer. Head

Famous_Séamus

Some people are being fairly extreme with all their "Call the Gardai!" malarkey.
Theother chaps hardly done much wrong has he? Hes obviously an opposite to you, ie. he doesnt drink/go-out, but you do. It seems really strange that, even though he has his own group of friends, he still wants, quite deperately, to make contact with you. Is still wouldnt be fair on him to literally tell him to feck off, or something to that affect. I understand how you feel, as most people probably do, having these friends that you dont want. Sometimes the best thing t do is to ease them out gradually. When he calls tell him your busy, when he texts tell him you have no credit, etc.

Sully

Famous_S&#233 wrote: »

Some people are being fairly extreme with all their "Call the Gardai!" malarkey.
Theother chaps hardly done much wrong has he? Hes obviously an opposite to you, ie. he doesnt drink/go-out, but you do. It seems really strange that, even though he has his own group of friends, he still wants, quite deperately, to make contact with you. Is still wouldnt be fair on him to literally tell him to feck off, or something to that affect. I understand how you feel, as most people probably do, having these friends that you dont want. Sometimes the best thing t do is to ease them out gradually. When he calls tell him your busy, when he texts tell him you have no credit, etc.

Im sorry but if someone kept hassling me, stalking me, calling to my house, texting / calling me etc despite me asking that person not to and despite me moving away from that individual - there is very little I could do BUT call the Guards. Its a last resort, but its the only solution (besides sending someone over to knock the head of the person, which is never a viable solution).

Kold

Lose him the way I've lost good friends. Get too busy.