Should have said nothing...

LegacyUser

Hi. I'm hoping someone might be able to give me a bit of advice on this one. Despite my age I've little experience in these types of situations, I tend not to say anything if I like someone rather than risking putting myself in this position (a couple of bad experiences in the past have caused me to be over cautious, but that's another story!).

I'm a guy, mid 20s and I'm in university. There's another mature student around my own age who I've been getting on pretty well with. I hadn't really spoken to her until recently but there's a group of us that hang around in college and she's been out with us a few times, both of us spent a lot of time talking, she seemed to be interested (for a few reasons, not just because we talked!) and we're both single.

I took a chance when we were out last and asked her if she wanted to meet up over the holidays, we had all arranged to go out as a group at some point too, but she seemed a little taken aback and just said I'll see you when we all meet up next. She then told me that it's nice to have someone that she can talk to who isn't going out just to get hammered (she doesn't seem to drink very much and I don't drink at all anymore) and so on. I took the hint... Anyway, we kept talking (everyone else had left at that stage) and I even had to suggest leaving when we did so she didn't miss her nitelink, so it's not like she went running away screaming from me .

My worry now is that I said I would contact her with the arrangements for when we're all going out again as a group. I'm wondering if this is a good idea, but I don't want to just avoid her and have her thinking I'm blanking her because of what happened plus avoiding her isn't really an option anyway as she'll be around one way or another. Also, should I just say nothing about suggesting we go out - I'm not planning on bringing it up again, and tbh I've no idea what I would say if I did bring it up, but I don't really know what to do/say in these situations . I'm guessing that pretending I didn't say anything is probably the best thing to do. Any advice would be appreciated.

Botswana

It doesn't sound like anything too bad happened! In fact, that kind of thing happens to me all the time Worst case scenario she's flattered.

Just do as she suggested. Meet her the next time you all meet up. Your body will be crying out for more than this, but it's best to play it cool.

So, next time you know when you're all meeting up, pop her off a text and tell her when and where.

And when she comes along, continue your nice conversations and see if things develop more.

It sounds like she wants to take it slowly, so take it slowly.

Btw I don't think you've done anything wrong.

Edit - oh does she have your number too?

lilrayosunshine

You did nothing wrong.. the girl may just be shy and didn't know what to say when you asked her out!
Give her a call with the details of your night out and then see how the night goes! Don't be worrying about what you said and sure as hell don't avoid the girl!

Good Luck!

Miss Fluff

Just give her a call when everyone is meeting up again and make it a casual "'we're all meeting up soon" kind of thingumeebob.

Hammered, sorry, lol;)

LegacyUser

'Thanks for the advice guys, I'll give get in touch with her when the time comes and take it from there.

Botswana wrote:

oh does she have your number too?

Yeah she does, she suggested we swap numbers a couple of weeks ago.'

hmmmm

Unreg333 wrote:

'Thanks for the advice guys, I'll give get in touch with her when the time comes and take it from there.

Ya. but give her a call. Don't text her. A call is so much better.

spurious

Agree on the call rather than text advice.

Go out with her again in a group and see how it goes. When you're back in college you could try a 'I'm going for something to eat/cinema/concert, would you like to come along?' no pressure, allowing her make an excuse if she wants to but making it clear you're still interested.

She may just like things taken slowly, which is not always a bad thing. She already knows you're interested and as you said, she didn't run away - she likes you, you don't need to rush things.

LegacyUser

Thanks spurious & hmmmm, I'll call rather than text.

im_invisible

bah, seeing as im on a roll tonite, giving out advice

have you been calling eachother, or texting, go with whatever is the norm.

id text, but thats just me

LegacyUser

'

im_invisible wrote:

have you been calling eachother, or texting, go with whatever is the norm.

id text, but thats just me

Mostly texts, I think I'll just call though - won't do any harm anyway.'

py2006

Calling can sometimes have more of an effect than a text. It could backfire though too!

I once plucked up the courage to call this girl that up to that point was just a couple texts and it was really awkward and uncomfortable as I could tell by her voice she wasn't interested in anything other than friendship.

With texts you avoid the awkwardness!

I guess its kind of chickening out!