Wondering Eye - Problem?

LegacyUser

Been going out with a girl for a while now and starting to get serious. I really like her a lot.
However, my eye is starting to wonder bigtime. It seems that every other girl I see is really desirable.
Is this a sign that things won't last or is this normal?

Ruu_Old

You mention that your relationship is starting to get serious, is that what you want or what your partner wants? Make sure you are both committed to each other. I don't think its any harm to look but that is where it should stop.

Chinafoot

I don't see the problem with looking at all, once that's as far as it goes.

If you have no intention of acting on your desires then there's no problem. Unless of course you make it very obvious that you're ogling other women while you're out with your girlfriend. I doubt there are many girls who like to see their fellas at that.

Maybe you've got a mild case of 'grass-is-greener-itis' now that your relationship is becoming more serious. That can tend to freak some people out. Do you still want to be with your girlfriend?

If you're happy in your relationship and dont intend to cheat on her then theres nothing wrong with a bit of window shopping.

BackwardRussia

I wouldn't worry too much about it mate! So long as that's all you do. Most blokes do the same thing but won't admit it!

Rb

Ruu wrote:

You mention that your relationship is starting to get serious, is that what you want or what your partner wants? Make sure you are both committed to each other. I don't think its any harm to look but that is where it should stop.

I agree.

OP: If you're out with your girlfriend, at least do your best to stop your eyes from wandering as I can't imagine it'd be the nicest thing to have her catch you doing (though, there is an awful lot worse she could catch you doing...but she won't, because you're not going to do those things!). Quite natural to find other people attractive/desirable though, as long as it remains as a "look but don't touch" type thing then alls ok. If you ever feel like you're going to act on your desires, do your girlfriend a favour and end the relationship before you have the chance to hurt her.

Anyway, good luck!

Anti

you can look, but you cant touch.....

Or cant you

Miss Fluff

Window shopping is fine, just don't make it really obvious while doing it, its rude.

Ickle Magoo

I don't think looking at other girls is an issue - as Miss Fluff says, as long as it is done discretely or while you are not in your gf presence...

I don't think finding other women attractive is an issue either. Being in a relationship doesn't make you blind to others good looks or dazzling personalities, afterall.

The issue is whether you will act on any desire you feel, if the answer is no then there is no problem. If you think you will act out on the desire felt, or you feel more than a passing appreciation, then it becomes more of an issue. It's still normal behaviour regardless. There are many people who are single or are poly that feel & act on those desires.

Talliesin

Okay. You appear to be attracted to women.

This is actually a good thing for the long term hopes for your relationship.

Finding other people attractive is normal. Even thinking about how it would be nice to be able to have a quick shag with them without the work that goes into making a relationship good is harmless enough as long as you've the basic common sense to remember what it is about the relationship that makes that work worthwhile.

With most people you'll want a degree of tact about the fact that you are looking at other people. Not everyone (some people will quite happily engage in "ooh, she's pretty, what an ass" conversations with their partner, but if you haven't already noticed your girlfriend has a tendency to do so, she isn't one) and how much tact you'll need will vary from making sure at least most of your attention is on her to keeping eyes front while in her company.

Jotter

jeez i should introduce you to my hubby, his eye wanders so much he forgets himself and regularly tells me to check out that girls ass, nice tits etc etc! Luckily for him Im not bothered by this and Id class it as totally normal, unless youre looking at girls and thinking about getting numbers etc I wouldnt worry about it. It could be your mind testing just how much you like her,but if you do find yourself wanting to cheat do the decent thing and end it or therell be tears!

Firetrap

Did this happen to you in previous relationships? Just wondering.

Tanabe

'Tis an old saying but true:

"It's alright to read the menu as long as you go home for dinner"