screwed up!

slemons

Yo.

A bit of a wierd prob. all women & my head related.

When i was young i had bad ance, was fat etc but i didnt really give a fvck so id go out anyway and chat away to girls even if i wasnt scoring.

Now ive grown out of that and got fit etc and while no oil painting would def hold my own on the physique side of things.

But i still have it in my head that im that really ugly unwanted teen (i might still be you know). I've been scoring every other night recently but all with girls im not into (all friends of friends too). I rarely if ever go up to a random girl i dont know in a club mainly because im so used to them being cruel in knocking me back. Thats my confidence gone for a week.

Also i have it in my head that girls dont like pushy guys. So ive actually gone way over the top and become almost the opposite of the pushy guy. If a girl would ever come up to me or show any sign of being interested id apologise and run a mile.

I see all my mates sleazing and i really hate it. I couldnt stand to be like that but at this stage i've gone the total other way which is just crazy and irrational but its what i do so often. i cant explain it. Im afraid of failure i suppose and if i dont try then i cant fail. Homer simpson really was a genius you know!

Id love to not be hung up and just go out and enjoy myself but i cant really let go. Its not really that im lonely or anything, id just like to get over this and be normal. This really is wierd and something id like to solve

Ruu_Old

I think you are giving up too easily. You don't have to take it in giant steps, take your time with things. Go out and start with a bit of small talk ("hi, hows it going? Having a good night, yeah?") sort of thing. You need to build your confidence and just keep trying.

~nop~

Practice makes perfect. I think ruu said it all really.

And while girls may not like pushy guys, they do like confidant ones. Hope it works out ok for you but this is gonna take time.

im_invisible

going through something kinda similar myself, 'if i dont try, i cant fail' Exactly. i can chat away to any girl (well, some), no bother, once i dont think she fancies me, but if i get any hint that she might like me, i clam up, dont have a clue what to do, what to say.
i made myself try talk to a girl a while back, just for a laugh, when i was sober, 'twas funny
me - 'id ask you to dance, but i dont like this music'
her- 'hmmm'
me - stands there
her- looks away
three mins later, me still standing there, she walks away
you had to be there

theres a girl i like, met her first about a year and a half ago (or 2 and a half, cant remember), but the first time i saw her, our eyes met across a crowded bar, she walked towards me (i would say straight twards me, but she had to weave in and out between groups of people), but her eyes were on mine the whole time, she came over, said hi, and we just chatted for ages. anyway, shes friends with my friends, so i see her every few weeks when im out, and i dont think ive said more than five words to her since then, aaaaaaaggghhhh, my head!!

or another girl in my class in college, i just cant say anything to her, my mind just goes blank, (i havnt even said one word to her) been out on a couple of class parties and she was there, ended up drinking way too much, cant remember getting home, made a fooool of meself, ah well.

anyways, my solution is to get a few pints in, then start on the vodka and redbull, (hasnt had many results, but i cant really think of a (legal) alternative, not that illegal ones work any better.)

caff

im_invisible wrote:

anyways, my solution is to get a few pints in, then start on the vodka and redbull, (hasnt had many results, but i cant really think of a (legal) alternative, not that illegal ones work any better.)

I can't see the vodka and red bull thing ending well at all

Black Swan

Pubs and clubs are not the only place to meet women. What do you enjoy doing in your free time? Find a group that does this, and one that has a good mix of single females and males and join it. Then become an enthusiastic member of this group, and others will share your enthusiasm, some of them single girls.

im_invisible

(is it ok to hijack someone elses thread?)
so anyway, i met this girl, (the one i hadnt said 5 words to,,,) over christmas, and chatted to her for a minute or two, im pretty sure she dosnt fancy me now, but ive taken her off the pedastel i had her on, and maybe theres a chance of being friends, which is cool

caff wrote:

I can't see the vodka and red bull thing ending well at all

well, i need the redbull, to keep me awake, i might be fit for six pints and then id be falling asleep otherwise, add in vodka, and well..... its party time

LegacyUser

'

slemons wrote:

Yo.

I've been scoring every other night recently but all with girls im not into (all friends of friends too).
.
.
.
.
.
I see all my mates sleazing and i really hate it. I couldnt stand to be like that

That is some weird sort of definition of Sleaze.

You get off with girls you don't like & think that is not Sleaze?

Wake up!'

cournioni

Try to think of it this way... By not trying, you are failing. If you try and you get turned down, then its their problem not yours. Then if you try and you have a success, then we have a winner!

I had problems with my confidence when I was younger too I sorted it out by basically not giving a feck about being turned down. As they say, it is their loss.

DonkeyStyle \o/

But i still have it in my head that im that really ugly unwanted teen (i might still be you know).

Oh yeah, that disgusted "urgh! as-if!" expression on a girls face never quite leaves you does it? (I have a very clear mental snap-shot of the exact expression)
They need to have warnings outside teenage "discos" that inform youngsters that they may suffer long-term psychological damage from all the rejection they're about to experience.
If this was America I'd be suing right now.

Chin up tho eh? Let the results of the new you speak for themselves.

Froot

im_invisible wrote:

anyways, my solution is to get a few pints in, then start on the vodka and redbull, (hasnt had many results, but i cant really think of a (legal) alternative, not that illegal ones work any better.)

Try Buckfast and red bull

girl25

i know exactly what ur saying i was the ugly kid when i was younger i had really bad acne from about 12 to 17 so most my childhood was ruined. Even thou i met someone and i m married now i still see that spotty kid in the mirror and my hubby thinks i m mad and says its all in my head and myabe it is cos i do hold my own when u got out ye i ve a few scarring but i m a size 8 slim and most men love my body and as u said u can hold ur own ur fit now. I think it cud but all in ur head as well to be honest. I m starting to learn everyone likes diff things not all men and women go for the same thing all have diff taste. Try relax and tell ur self feck it i am what i am and i m happy with myself and when u do meet someone u will know they want u for u not cos ur like a model cos when we are all 60 we all look the same