A man goes into a pub

drunk_monk · 20-12-2006 8:59am #1

A man goes into a pub, and the barmaid asks what he wants.
'I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from
between your breasts' he says.
'You dirty git' shouts the barmaid, 'get out before I fetch my
husband.'
The man apologises and promises not to repeat his gaffe. The
barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants.
'I want to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt between the cheeks
of your ar*e and lick it all off' he says.
'You dirty filthy pervert. You're banned. Get out.' she storms.
Again the man apologies and swears never ever to do it again.
'One more chance' says the barmaid. 'Now what do... you want?'
'I want to turn you upside down, fill your pussy with Guinness,
and then drink every last drop.'
The barmaid is furious at this personal intrusion, and runs
upstairs to fetch her husband, who's sitting quietly watching the telly.
'What's up, Love?' he asks.
'There's a man in the bar who wants to put his head between my
breasts and lick the sweat off' she says.
'I'll kill him. Where is he?' storms the husband.
'But that's not all, then he said he wanted to pour yoghurt down
between my ar*e cheeks and lick it off' she screams.
'Right. He's dead' says the husband, reaching for a cricket bat.
'And then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill my pussy
with Guinness and then drink it all down to the very last drop' she
cries.
The husband puts down his bat and returns to his armchair, and
switches the telly back on.
Aren't you going to do something about it?' she cries hysterically.
'Look love' he says - 'I'm not messing with someone who can drink
12 pints of Guinness...'