Awkward at work

LegacyUser

So anyways, had the office party last Friday night. Had a great time with everyone who was out and got chatting to lots of people I hadnt really spoken to before.

One of the girls from another office came into the pub later on in the evening and was chatting with myself and two other guys. I was just getting ready to up and leave for home, when she asked me would I walk her back up to town as she was going home too. I agreed seeing as we were both travelling in the same direction. We walk about 10 paces away from the bar and all of a sudden she is linking my arm and then holding my hand.( I should explain at this point that I have a girlfriend and am indeed quite happy with my relationship ). But so as to avoid any real embarressment on both our parts I kept with it and didnt pay any heed.

We walked around for a bit, and there was a bit of harmless flirting and just good fun when she asked me would I like to go back to her place. I just replied that I had lots to do the following day, and was on call from work so that it wouldnt be workable if I did. We continued on and I walked her to the taxi rank, where she made the suggestion once again, but I made my excuses, and bid her goodnight and it was nice talking to you etc..

I must say, the man inside me said "This is fcking class" as it was the first time this ever happened to me, as I have been in a relationship for nearly 9 years,.. but the core of me said "Walk away,too much to lose here". But for a moment it felt nice.I should also mention that she is in her mid 30's and Im in my mid 20's.

Now this morning so as to not be obtuse, I sent a friendly mail asking "Hope you got home ok on Fri night?:) ". But I didnt hear back from her until after I went into her office to speak to another person in that dept. Even at that, the mail was a 2 liner, "got home ok, safe and sound thanks!" When I walked in, she kinda fumbled at her computer rooting through stuff, muttering away and got on the phone straight away, laughing away etc etc.

I wasnt expecting a big long explanation within the mail or anything. Im not really sure what I was looking for to be honest. I know she is probably mortified, but she neednt be.


Over the weekend I said to myself, that I'd do my best to be normal about the event and take it in jest if she had wanted it. But now Im afraid that it's goin to get awkward. I really dont want it to happen as she's really nice and great to talk to and it would be a shame to let things get a bit fcked up.

Anyone any thoughts? Im sure many ppl have been in this situation before:?

K_P

It doesn't sound like you've much to worry about. She's probably feeling a bit silly this morning all right but at least she replied to your email. The best you could both do is forget what happened and things should be back to normal in no time.

LundiMardi

Also, fair play for going no further. So many times on this board it's the other way round.

Kell

hmmmmm99 wrote:

I have a girlfriend and am indeed quite happy with my relationship ).

:rolleyes:

hmmmmm99 wrote:

But so as to avoid any real embarressment on both our parts I kept with it and didnt pay any heed.

:rolleyes:

hmmmmm99 wrote:

I just replied that I had lots to do the following day, and was on call from work so that it wouldnt be workable if I did.

I am sorry- you claim to be really happy with your GF but at no point did you mention to the girl that was coming on to you that you had a GF. Odd. Sounds to me that you were just being an attention whore, leading someone on just so you could benefit from the attention and wants it to continue after the fact hence you looking for some sort of a reaction back at the office.

Mid 20's you say? More like mid teens behaviour.

K-

LundiMardi

That's a little harsh kell....

Some girls are very touchy feely with a few drinks on them, linking arms doesn't neccessarily mean anything, for the OP to immediately turn around to the girl and exclaim that he indeed has a girlfriend, may have resulted in him looking like a complete tool!!!

biko

OP, don't worry. You got a bit of attention and didn't act on it. Just act like normal from now on and you will be OK.
Do not continue flirting with this girl, she may have a thing for you and if you lead her on but are in a relationship it could turn bad..

Duckjob

Attached or not, It's always nice to receive attention like that - a nice little boost for the ego. The point is the OP didnt let it go beyond harmless drunken flirting.

As regards the awkwardness, I wouldn't even mention it again unless she does - just continue on exactly as you used to be with her.

If she brings it up, best to just make light of it, "ahh, don't worry, I've done the same myself before, etc etc,"

LegacyUser

'Woah jesus h, kell you couldnt be further from the truth. Sure I should have said I had a girlfriend, but to be honest, I was afraid of the ole "What kind of girl do you think I am" making her feel guilty retort. Thats the only part where I feel I am at fault here.

At no point did I take advantage of the situation. Perhaps allowing the holding hands to go on, but that is minor in my view.

No I dont want anything to continue in the office. It would be a bloody nuisance if it did tbh. I am merely looking for perhaps an experienced persons point of view in this. Not to be accused of being attention seeking whore. Watch your mouth by the way.

Thanks Lundi for the words, appreciate your point.'

Kebab

Totally agree with LundiMardi - very harsh Kell. Well done OP for handling the situation as well as you could. Your colleague is obviously morto this morning and I'm not surprised that she is. Have been in that situation before myself, and it is cringeworthy! Just be cool, she did reply to you (including an exclamation mark which show she's trying to be relaxed about it herself) - it'll take her a couple of days to get over the embarressment but she will as long as you act normally. You also have the Christmas break which will calm things down...

K

Mighty_Mouse

she is linking my arm and then holding my hand.

Firstly most people caught in one-on-one situations like that immediately drop in a line about their bf/gf.
Makes things clear before reaching the point where there are misunderstandings and things get awkward.

humanji

hmmmmm99 wrote:

No I dont want anything to continue in the office. It would be a bloody nuisance if it did tbh. I am merely looking for perhaps an experienced persons point of view in this.

Well, I was sort of in her position before and basically she humiliated herself. Give it time and she'll be reasonably back to normal. Also, just a thought, maybe she was drunk and normally wouldn't of asked you back to her place? Maybe now she realises what she did as is mortified.

LegacyUser

'I agree Mighty Mouse, thats where I am at fault. This would have avoided the following events. But, I felt bad about shrugging her arm/hand off and saying "You know what I have a girlfriend,I cant do this". It would have been a bit alarmist of me, given the situation.

Fck it I know I was wrong in that sense,and it precipitated the awkward situ later,but I was high spirited and happy and as I said,a part of me said, this is kinda class.

Anyways,hands up on my part. Hopefully I can put this event behind me fairly quickly.

Cheers for the words of encouragement from most of you guys..;)'

LundiMardi

Mighty_Mouse wrote:

Firstly most people caught in one-on-one situations like that immediately drop in a line about their bf/gf.
Makes things clear before reaching the point where there are misunderstandings and things get awkward.

Know 'most' people do you?

Drift

I don't think the OP did anything wrong really and I don't think she did either. I think she's just a bit embarrased and it will pass over time.

Speaking from experience about dropping the bf/gf hint. What you could have done was when she linked arms don't shrug her off just leave her be but tell some random funny story about your gf. A lot of girls I know do it this way when they're talking to you, if you're chatting about music you both like she might say something like "I really like The Sawdoctors aswell ....... I drag my bf along to their concerts" ....... That sort of thing. You don't have to shrug her off and say I've a gf, just hint it in a nice way.

Have to say though my experience in this is always from the pov of the person who's not attached :rolleyes: and I'm sure in practise its not as easy.

MissThing

Hmmm99 I think you acted like a perfect gentleman. Well done!

killbillvol2

You handled an awkward situation really well. Bringing up the gf thing when she held your hand could've turned out nasty as you said.

As for the aftermath, I'm sure she felt really awkward today and probably wished a hole would open and swallow her when you walked in (but she had the guts to reply to your email). Just give her some space and the two of you will laugh about the whole thing in the future.

~nop~

Yeah just do make sure to mention your girlfriend if you happen to be talking to her soon ok? Itll make sure that she doesnt start having feelings towards you or anything awkward like that you know?

Mojito

I'd have to be with Kell on this,

I would say the OP knew he should have mentioned his girlfriend and it did cross his mind but he was enjoying the attention to much to bother to tell her.

I don't believe that the OP had any intention to do anything but just felt good and is now feeling a bit guilty.

I don't think you should worry about how she is in the office at the moment, if you just act normal and don't bring it up it will soon be in the past and things will be back to normal.

I think we've all done something we would like to forget at some point but sure thats life, there'll be plenty more of those moments yet to come

Don't worry about it, have a laugh and a smile and carry on!

Caliden

if you get into a situation like that again, try mentioning your girlfriend in the conversation at some point. its subtle and lets her know your situation.