Longdistance relationships

LegacyUser

Im heading to Australia in January for at least a year, thing is im in a relationship with a guy I really like. We both want to keep it going while im away, has anybody any personal experience, is it viable? whats the best way to keep in contact? any advice?

Lust4Life

Download Skype. It will keep phone costs down.

Ruu_Old

Lots of ways and yes it is viable but you both have to work very hard to make it happen. It is not going to be easy, that goes without saying. Please make sure you both know how much is ahead of ye as it would be a shame for either of ye to get hurt. There is no room for people being one sided.

Instant messengers, google talk and emails. Make sure you get yourself a calling card too. I done a relationship and we kept it going for over a year until one of us budged and moved, I was in Ireland and herself in the US, 3,500 miles away. If you want the long, fairytale version then send me a PM. We are happily married over 2 years now.

BeardyGit

Yeah, you could make it work, if you're really lucky. But to be honest, the odds are stacked against you.

If you're heading to Oz, I'll make an assumption you're taking a year out and heading off to experience some of the world. If that's the case, you'd be better off going it alone. If you're mentally attached to someone back home, you might find you won't fully experience everything you might want to while you're away. This is once in a lifetime stuff for most people, and if you're young enough to be doing it, you should really be making the absolute most of it while you can.

Cut yourself some slack and go enjoy yourself without ever feeling you have a responsibility to someone back at home. This is your time, in the singular.

Good luck and enjoy the year out,

Paul

LundiMardi

to be honest, what's the point? If things are meant to be then you can be together when you get back. Meeting new people is all part of going away, you'll just be tied down with this long relationship and what eventually could happen is either you or your other half will buckle under the pressure and end up ''seeing'' someone else, this will hurt and will most likely break trust and ruin the relationship.

If you break all ties now, live your own lives for the next year, be happy, then when you get back maybe you'll decide to be together again.

But if you're determined, then Skype is the way to go, it's free when both online and if you have a fast connection then get a couple of webcams. It'll be like being in the same room, but you won't be.

PopeBuckfastXVI

Do yourself a favour, both of you (and especially him) will be miserable. Break up now, and it'll hurt, but it's like ripping off a plaster better than the slow torture of a dripping contact "relationship".

Remember you will be off getting new experiences and seeing the world, he will be sitting at home, wondering what you are up to, and with whom. Eventually one of you will crack and at the very least kiss someone else. If you break up now and go your seperate ways, then there's nothing to stop you getting in contact when you get back, and if you're both single then why not give it another go, that way there's no trust issues.

I personally think it's quite selfish of you to want to head away for the year, and keep the emotional security of a Boyfriend(TM) back at home. If you like him as much as you claim you either a) wouldn't go, or b) take him with you. Trying to keep it going is more likely to cause resentment and mistrust and ruin the relationship than breaking up for the year (including minimal contact). Believe me I suffered a LDR for long enough (multiple years) to know from whence I speak.

LegacyUser

'

Ruu wrote:

Lots of ways and yes it is viable but you both have to work very hard to make it happen. It is not going to be easy, that goes without saying. Please make sure you both know how much is ahead of ye as it would be a shame for either of ye to get hurt.

Instant messengers, google talk and emails. Make sure you get yourself a calling card too. I done a relationship and we kept it going for over a year until one of us budged and moved, I was in Ireland and herself in the US, 3,500 miles away. If you want the long, fairytale version then send me a PM. We are happily married over 2 years now.

I love those stories but don't want the long version. I am always hoping me and my girlfriend can survive when I have to live in Germany for a while.'

flynnser19

i had "long distance relationship" if thats what ya wanna call it i live in dundalk he lived in kildare and it didnt work!!!we got sick of it and bored of meeting once a month etc it just doesnt work!!!!it's pointless do yourself and him a favour and get out now before your feelings go deeper. it's a great experience travelling and you should do it alone!!!

LegacyUser

Im going over there on work placement so I dont have much choice. I dont want to take your advice to end it now as to date this is my second serious relationship, the other ended a longtime ago and hurt me a lot for a long time. I really like this guy and am willing to risk it, we both know things mightnt work out.

Does anyone have any other suggestions on how to maintain contact?

thanks

hmmmm

abroad123 wrote:

Im heading to Australia in January for at least a year, thing is im in a relationship with a guy I really like. We both want to keep it going while im away, has anybody any personal experience, is it viable? whats the best way to keep in contact? any advice?

How long are yee going out?

It is definitely doable but is going to be very very hard. Will you be home even once in that year? Is there a chance he could visit more than once in the year?

I have been going out with my German girlfriend for just over two years now. She is in Germany. I guess the difference is Either I or her visit the other for a week every month - so we are lucky in that regard.

Ruu_Old

Und98 wrote:

'


I love those stories but don't want the long version. I am always hoping me and my girlfriend can survive when I have to live in Germany for a while.'

Ryanair is your friend. Best of luck with it.

OP, do you think he'll get out to see you at all during the time you are there?

LegacyUser

'yes hes planning on coming over for the summer'

Black Swan

Long distance relationships can work if you truly love each other. Listen to Ruu, they stayed in touch for one year across the pond before getting married. I've got one that's lasted over 10 months now that's 8 time zones apart. We are really playful with each other. Emails, online chats, and boards (TCN) can keep your costs down while you stay in touch.

~nop~

I think if you really love each other you can do it, especially if he's coming over for the summer. However make sure you stay in touch a lot, try and set a definate time that you'll be coming home again, as makes the wait not seem hopeless to him, and remember that you can always go on the line or something if the going gets too tough, as in an open relationship type senario. Good luck anyway!! Hope it works out for you!!