What to do...

LegacyUser

About a month ago in college got a project and it was random groups of two. Anyway I was put with a french girl, don't how to describe her, I suppose attractive in that french petite kind of way (you know the kind) and we'd meet every thursday to work on said project and we'd be working away and I'd be full of wit, the intelligent kind nothing stupid, just seeing her smile would make my day.

We finished the project there on thursday and I really wanted to tell her that she was just so "no word can describe" but I let it go even though she was going back to France yesterday, thinking that if I did tell her how I felt there was hardly a lot of time left before she went back to France so even then I'd be stuck here thinking about her 24/7.

Now it seems a bit retarded to e-mail or text her telling her how I feel because she's all the way over in France (and I think it's better to tell her face-to-face anway) and it would only make it worse if she replies saying she likes me because she won't be back for about a month, the wait would be mind-numbing.

What to do...

The wait makes the heart grow fonder I guess

Talliesin

Well, she won't be back for a month so you can't do anything about that part of it.

You've got three choices.

1. Drop the matter. The "plenty of fish in the sea" option.
2. Tell her how you feel.
3. Keep in touch.

The first option has obvious advantages and disadvantages. I don't recommend it.

Keeping in touch to some extent is necessary. At the very least she will feel that you at least care for her as a friend, and you won't rapidly move to "some guy she used to know" before finally being forgotten. Best case scenario is that she already has recipricol feelings for you in which it will give her hope and make her less likely to hit on the "plenty of fish in the sea" option herself.

Telling her how you feel has the advantage of getting it over with, and the disadvantage of being a matter of getting it over with.

Texting is definitely a bad idea here (never text anything important that can wait long enough to phone, email, write [as in that high-bandwidth, high-latency network that involves pieces of paper being moved around the place] or say face to face).

Email is reasonable enough as it can allow for a great range of expression (there is nothing by Shakespeare that can't be put into a text/plain email after all, and they guy doesn't even use smileys).

The biggest disadvantage of telling her by email is that we communicate differently to the same person through different media. As such it may be advantageous to already be in the habit of corresponding with her before you say anything more explicitly referencing your feelings for her.

If you can write emails full of sweet nothings then send off some sweet nothings today. Keep the lines of communication open and then asking if she'd like to go for dinner/cinema/straight to bed/night-club (delete according to both style and how the correspondence with her goes) once she's back in Ireland may well become something that's become so much on the cards as to almost write itself.

fobster

As regards option 1, I'm swimming in the Dead Sea tbh...

Telling her how I feel? Well it's final year and we have exams in a month's time so I don't know whether it would just distract her before them, the exams are important and all.

Keeping in touch seems like the best idea although I don't think she'd have her Irish mobile on in France. I'll see, I might contact her on new years or something.

Thanks anyway.

Dave!

If she's coming back in a month then just wait til then and have a chat then.

Try not to use the expression "no words to describe" when you're telling her you like her though..... Maybe put down the book of cliches

cornbb

Funny, a very similar thing happened to me once. I'll tell you my story and I dunno, maybe you can learn from it or something.

I was friends/acquaintances with a French girl in college a few years back. We ended up getting together for the first time on her very last day in Ireland. I guess we both assumed it would be a brief fling at the time. But we kept in touch, she invited me to Paris, she came back again for a visit, and we spent 4 or 5 months in this long distance relationship. It then ended, obviously, but we still keep in occasional touch.

The thing is, in my case, the girl made her feelings for me know fairly plainly in the time leading up to when we got together. In your case, you don't have this benefit, you have no idea how she feels and thats can be a killer. Not an easy situation.

I'd recommend getting in touch with her sooner rather than later though. Things might not be as likely to go your way if you put it off. Don't necessarily spill your heart out first time, maybe test the waters. She might have no interest at all in you, and you should prepare yourself for that scenario, but its also just possible ye could get something going. Its tough putting your heart out on your sleeve like that, and it can be a pain in the arse when it doesn't go your way, but I reckon its better to at least try and find out than never try and end up thinking "what if" forever.

Fanny Cradock

Staying in contact with her is the best thing to do. However, don't wait till new years, that's too long and too cheesy.

When she comes back try and sound her feelings towards you before you blurt out your undying love.

Good luck

fobster

DaveMcG wrote:

If she's coming back in a month then just wait til then and have a chat then.

Yeah I'm guessing a bit of patience wouldn't go astray.

DaveMcG wrote:

Try not to use the expression "no words to describe" when you're telling her you like her though..... Maybe put down the book of cliches

Lol, I don't think I'd say that to her, I'd sound well stupid and sappy like I don't have a good grasp of english or something

cornbb wrote:

I'd recommend getting in touch with her sooner rather than later though. Things might not be as likely to go your way if you put it off. Don't necessarily spill your heart out first time, maybe test the waters.

I'd say thats the best approach alright, just bring it up in general conversation and see how it goes, safe and steady instead of a blind rush looking for an immediate answer, don't want to go freaking her out.

Edit: Contacting her at new years it'd just be to wish her a happy new year, nothing cheesy lol.

Black Swan

Time to invade France? Do you have a holiday coming up? Ask her if she would show you the sights. Don't come out and text or email her your feelings, get within striking range then try...

Mr. Presentable

Just stay in touch. Don't say/do anything that'll make things awkward when she comes back.

An e-mail - did you get home safely? Happy Christmas. Happy New Year. Each is a week apart. Not hassling her, but reminding her you are there.

Softly, softly catchee monkey!