Signals

A.Anon

Hey Folks,

Im hoping to get some insight into what kind of signals I should be lookin for when out coz I seem to miss em completely. 25yo guy here with a truely abismal career/history in relationships or just women in general.

Recently come out of my shell as such and finding a few difficulties in meetin women the biggest of which is being able to tell if she is interested and after that its talking to women due to my dark sense of humour. I guess the most obvious signal is making eye contact and I've no problem making eye contact (in some ways I fluff it coz I make loads of eye contact but loose the bottle and dont talk to her). Any other suggestions or hints for picking up signals and approaching. I know very little can make up for years of a honned skill to pick up subtle nuances in convesation and behaviour but we all have to start somewhere even it its late.

A

Kell

A.Anon wrote:

I know very little can make up for years of a honned skill to pick up subtle nuances in convesation and behaviour

You never know. Never ever. Even when she has "shag the fúcking arse off me" written all over her face and she is stroking your leg, you'll never know unless you try to kiss her. It can all go terribly wrong right there even though everything looked roses before hand.

There is no general rule of thumb. None. Go with what feels right at the time. Example- if you were talking to a randomer for longer than 30 mins, you might touch her in some way (forarm, wrist whatever. Not the clit though. Thats a bit upfront). Longer than 45 mins, kiss her. Whats the worst that could happen? She is NOT going to hit you for trying to kiss her.

Perhaps the only rule of thumb that applies is to do what you would like someone else to do to let them know you are interested. Ask yourself how you would like someone to flick your switch and then do it to someone else. Human beings arent that dissimilar to eachother as we would like to think.

You'll have some knockbacks, you'll have some success, but either way you'll be venturing further and further out of your shell each time.

K-

biko

Classic signals are:

Playing with her hair
Laughing at your jokes
Says: "You are funny!"
Touches you, hand lingers
Leans close to tell you something

Any of these, or none, can occur.

damo

DO NOT wait half an hour before you start touching her! Literally start touching her as soon as you start talking to her, nothing weird just a casual light tap on the outside of her arm 'hi, i need to ask you something' *tap*, as you get a bit friendlier you can start touching her a bit more e.g give her a little, quick, rub on her hip as you say something 'hey i like your shoes' *rub*, again nothing weird - just casual, friendly touching which build comfort. If shes giving you a bitchy why are you talking to me vibe try something like 'hey i like your shoes, i just saw another girl wearing them!' *rub/tap* - bring her down a notch.

Don't ask for her name!! Every boring guy in the bar/club who talks to her will do that, wait for her to ask you your name - she won't ask you your name unless she's interested.

Other things to look out for:

"Deer-in-the-headlights" look when she first sees you / meets you

She touches you back(remember youre not being a touchy feely weirdo youre just friendly and building comfort by touching her)

She maintains good eye contact with you

She leans in to talk to you - NEVER lean in to her, let her come to you, youre the prize!

If the conversation dies out she instantly makes an effort to say anything to keep it alive.

Faces you with her hips/legs while sitting




^^^Take these on board, they are real and they are tested, no BS!
Get any 3 of them and youre in.

Black Swan

damo wrote:

Literally start touching her as soon as you start talking to her, nothing weird just a casual light tap on the outside of her arm 'hi, i need to ask you something' *tap*, as you get a bit friendlier you can start touching her a bit more e.g give her a little, quick, rub on her hip as you say something 'hey i like your shoes' *rub*, again nothing weird - just casual, friendly touching which build comfort. If shes giving you a bitchy why are you talking to me vibe try something like 'hey i like your shoes, i just saw another girl wearing them!' *rub/tap* - bring her down a notch.

All this early touchy touchy feely feely stuff would not go with many girls. Keep in mind that everyone is different. Girls are not clones. Some like their personal space until they get to know you.

skyhighflyer

damo wrote:

DO NOT wait half an hour before you start touching her! Literally start touching her as soon as you start talking to her, nothing weird just a casual light tap on the outside of her arm 'hi, i need to ask you something' *tap*, as you get a bit friendlier you can start touching her a bit more e.g give her a little, quick, rub on her hip as you say something 'hey i like your shoes' *rub*, again nothing weird - just casual, friendly touching which build comfort. If shes giving you a bitchy why are you talking to me vibe try something like 'hey i like your shoes, i just saw another girl wearing them!' *rub/tap* - bring her down a notch.

Don't ask for her name!! Every boring guy in the bar/club who talks to her will do that, wait for her to ask you your name - she won't ask you your name unless she's interested.

Other things to look out for:

"Deer-in-the-headlights" look when she first sees you / meets you

She touches you back(remember youre not being a touchy feely weirdo youre just friendly and building comfort by touching her)

She maintains good eye contact with you

She leans in to talk to you - NEVER lean in to her, let her come to you, youre the prize!

If the conversation dies out she instantly makes an effort to say anything to keep it alive.

Faces you with her hips/legs while sitting




^^^Take these on board, they are real and they are tested, no BS!
Get any 3 of them and youre in.

Quoted for the truth.

damo

Blue_Lagoon wrote:

All this early touchy touchy feely feely stuff would not go with many girls. Keep in mind that everyone is different. Girls are not clones. Some like their personal space until they get to know you.

I tried to emphasize in my post NOT to be 'touchy touchy feely feely'. Just a light tap on her arm to emphasize a point/compliment her on something is not being 'touchy touchy feely feely'. This is a good thing to do with pretty much all girls because its not being weird and it builds comfort - try it out if you think im talking BS then get back to me.

meow

And this from a girls point of view, if a guy I knew nothing about came up to me in a bar and starting touching me anywhere, lightly or not, he'd be asking for trouble.

There might be some girls out there that go for that kind of thing, but as was already stated we're not clones.

damo

And this from a girls point of view, if a guy I knew nothing about came up to me in a bar and starting touching me anywhere, lightly or not, he'd be asking for trouble.

There might be some girls out there that go for that kind of thing, but as was already stated we're not clones.

If a guy approaches you and starts talking to you in a friendly, non sleazy manner, maybe asks your opinion on something and gives you a friendly - non sexual pat on the elbow as if to emphasize his point or his question - he is asking for trouble? I don't think so.

Maybe if a drunk guy approaches you and stares at your chest as he lays some cheesy one liner on you then gives you a big sleazy rub on the leg - then he might be asking for trouble.

I'm not saying women are clones, women are people, we are all individuals and the majority of individuals appreciate friendly, confident non threatening behaviour from other people - especially in a social setting such as a pub/club.

0utshined

There seems to be some confusion about what damo is saying though I'm not sure why because it seemed pretty clear to me.

He is not saying be Johnny Grab-a-lot. We've all seen those guys and I think that's what the girls are thinking off but that's not it at all. When you're talking to someone and having a good time with them there's all sorts of body language going on that you generally aren't even aware of. Gentle taps on the arm and stuff like that. Just the things that happen when you're comfortable with someone. The OP just needs to be aware of that, if the girl he's talking to isn't comfortable with him he should be able to pick that up.

Next time you're in a club look at the way people interact and you'll probably spot it but it's not something you'd pay any heed to if you weren't looking for it if that makes sense.

As for the OP, Kell is bang on the money. You never ever know. No matter what signals you think you're getting you just can't tell. Signals before you approach are great but don't be too concerned about it. You need to be able to take the chance of rejection if you're ever going to approach successfully. You don't need her to talk to you to feel good because you're a great guy anyway. If she doesn't see it well too bad, wish her a good night and move along because there are other girls out there who will. Just have fun and don't stress it.

Mighty_Mouse

DO NOT wait half an hour before you start touching her! Literally start touching her as soon as you start talking to her, nothing weird just a casual light tap on the outside of her arm 'hi, i need to ask you something' *tap*, as you get a bit friendlier you can start touching her a bit more e.g give her a little, quick, rub on her hip as you say something 'hey i like your shoes' *rub*, again nothing weird - just casual, friendly touching which build comfort. If shes giving you a bitchy why are you talking to me vibe try something like 'hey i like your shoes, i just saw another girl wearing them!' *rub/tap* - bring her down a notch.

Don't ask for her name!! Every boring guy in the bar/club who talks to her will do that, wait for her to ask you your name - she won't ask you your name unless she's interested.

Other things to look out for:

"Deer-in-the-headlights" look when she first sees you / meets you

She touches you back(remember youre not being a touchy feely weirdo youre just friendly and building comfort by touching her)

She maintains good eye contact with you

She leans in to talk to you - NEVER lean in to her, let her come to you, youre the prize!

If the conversation dies out she instantly makes an effort to say anything to keep it alive.

Faces you with her hips/legs while sitting

*shudder

I'm going home for a shower.


The absolute only way to know is with a bum pinch. Pinch her bum on a scale from gentle-squeeze to severe buttock pain depending on how kinky you think she may be.

When she turns towards you. Give her an almost cartoonish over long wink whilst at the same time biting down on your exposed tongue at the corner of your mouth.

If she walks away: No more time wasted.
If she stays : sure thing.

Feel free to add more expressive manoeuvres which reflect your own personality. Sucking your finger, pinching your own nipple or slapping yourself whilst saying "you oh so hot!"........you oh so hot!"........you oh so hot!"........you oh so hot!"........you oh so hot!"........you oh so hot!"........ have also known to be used successfully.

LegacyUser

'

damo wrote:

DO NOT wait half an hour before you start touching her! Literally start touching her as soon as you start talking to her, nothing weird just a casual light tap on the outside of her arm 'hi, i need to ask you something' *tap*, as you get a bit friendlier you can start touching her a bit more e.g give her a little, quick, rub on her hip as you say something 'hey i like your shoes' *rub*, again nothing weird - just casual, friendly touching which build comfort. If shes giving you a bitchy why are you talking to me vibe try something like 'hey i like your shoes, i just saw another girl wearing them!' *rub/tap* - bring her down a notch.

Don't ask for her name!! Every boring guy in the bar/club who talks to her will do that, wait for her to ask you your name - she won't ask you your name unless she's interested.

Other things to look out for:

"Deer-in-the-headlights" look when she first sees you / meets you

She touches you back(remember youre not being a touchy feely weirdo youre just friendly and building comfort by touching her)

She maintains good eye contact with you

She leans in to talk to you - NEVER lean in to her, let her come to you, youre the prize!

If the conversation dies out she instantly makes an effort to say anything to keep it alive.

Faces you with her hips/legs while sitting


^^^Take these on board, they are real and they are tested, no BS!
Get any 3 of them and youre in.

Just to agree with Meow there, if some randomer came up and started tapping me however lightly I'd be out of there. To be honest, to me it's just too obvious that he wants to score you. I'd go with the 20-30 mins in, coz if she's still talking to you for that long (and not looking over your shoulder the whole time!) then she must find you at least a bit interesting.

Plus if she does give you the brush off then you'll want to move onto another girl and if I saw a guy who was so obviously flirting with other girls like that earlier in the night he can forget about talking to me.

The signs look sound though, I would agree with those.'

Drift

Mighty_Mouse wrote:

The absolute only way to know is with a bum pinch. Pinch her bum on a scale from gentle-squeeze to severe buttock pain depending on how kinky you think she may be.

When she turns towards you. Give her an almost cartoonish over long wink whilst at the same time biting down on your exposed tongue at the corner of your mouth.

If she walks away: No more time wasted.
If she stays : sure thing.

Feel free to add more expressive manoeuvres which reflect your own personality. Sucking your finger, pinching your own nipple or slapping yourself whilst saying "you oh so hot!"........you oh so hot!"........you oh so hot!"........you oh so hot!"........you oh so hot!"........you oh so hot!"........ have also known to be used successfully.

LMAO!!!!!!! Believe it or not I've actually seen a somewhat similar approach work perfectly. (Used by a friend who has the type of personality that can get away with that.) I guess its horses for courses. I would never have the balls to try that out.

damo

Mighty_Mouse wrote:

*shudder

I'm going home for a shower.


The absolute only way to know is with a bum pinch. Pinch her bum on a scale from gentle-squeeze to severe buttock pain depending on how kinky you think she may be.

When she turns towards you. Give her an almost cartoonish over long wink whilst at the same time biting down on your exposed tongue at the corner of your mouth.

If she walks away: No more time wasted.
If she stays : sure thing.

Feel free to add more expressive manoeuvres which reflect your own personality. Sucking your finger, pinching your own nipple or slapping yourself whilst saying "you oh so hot!"........you oh so hot!"........you oh so hot!"........you oh so hot!"........you oh so hot!"........you oh so hot!"........ have also known to be used successfully.

Hilarious.

I bet youre quite a hit with the ladies.