Gambling spiralled out of control

LegacyUser

i am so screwed. broke and in debt and i can't tell anyone. Up until one year ago i had never set foot inside a casino and never really gambled bar the odd home game of poker with friends for low stakes. I was really fit, healthy with some really good friends and had spent a year travelling round the world and enjoying life.

Then i moved to dublin for a new job. I decided one day to go to the casino and play poker (they run some free tournaments for beginners) i enjoyed this and played once a week for next few weeks spending no more than 30 a week. Then one day waiting for a tournament to start i played a few hands of blackjack to pass the time, betting 3 a time, that was the beginning. Its sick how it went from that to last week when i was betting 300 a time. Sick sick sick. Gambling consumes me now. I am 4000 in debt + do not have 8 grand i would otherwise have saved.Thats 12k gone. Gambling is all i think about day and night, i don't sleep properly and have lost contact with my friends. I rarely contact my family and it would kill them to know the full extent of my problem. I was alway really bright ****ed up at college now i'm really screwed.
All i can think about is the money i've lost and how i can get it back. I can actually play poker well but the extent of my debt cause me to play recklessly in order to try and claw my way out. This week i have lost about 2g. this is the end its killing me

Beruthiel

You need to stop right now and never set foot inside a casino again. There is no point regreting what you've lost, it's in the past and there isn't a thing you can do about it. Thinking you will win it back if you continue is not the answer, I think you can see that yourself.

Get some help, talk to the people who know what you're going through.

http://www.gamblersanonymous.ie/
http://www.carmichaelcentre.ie/ga/index.htm
http://www.gamblersanonymous.ie/20_questions.htm

justsomebloke

anonymous779 wrote:

All i can think about is the money i've lost and how i can get it back.

ok this is part of the problem as you feel that you can get the money back, however you can't. it is gone. If you try and win it back chances are you are going to be even more indebt. yes you are now €4000 indebt but it is not the end of the world, no matter how you feel about it now.
try some of the links posted by Beruthiel

junii

Jesus man put that 12k in the back of your mind and forget about it. 4k in dept is nothing. Some people get out loans for 20k just to buy a car.
I know plenty of people who have loans up to 7k just to drive around in stupid cars with big exhausts and flashy graphics. People waste money on stupid stuff and stuff they don't need for their whole lives, you've only spent a year wasting it. You are an extremely lucky that you have taken the first step. Thats half the battle.

As I said forget about the money. You can't and won't get it back. Getting all that back would be as hard as winning the euro millions.

Lorax

junii wrote:

As I said forget about the money. You can't and won't get it back. Getting all that back would be as hard as winning the euro millions.

I dunno about that if u put €4,000 on an evens money shot like red or black on roulette, could make €4,000 profit in a matter of seconds. not exactly euro millions style odds and could have his debt cleared in a flash..?

junii

Lorax wrote:

I dunno about that if u put €4,000 on an evens money shot like red or black on roulette, could make €4,000 profit in a matter of seconds. not exactly euro millions style odds and could have his debt cleared in a flash..?

ok so maybe not euro millions odds but he could be €8000 in debt in a matter of seconds also.

Beruthiel

Lorax wrote:

I dunno about that if u put €4,000 on an evens money shot like red or black on roulette, could make €4,000 profit in a matter of seconds. not exactly euro millions style odds and could have his debt cleared in a flash..?

Lorax
if that's your attempt at humour, I'm not laughing.
Consider this your warning.
B

Irishpimpdude

Lorax wrote:

I dunno about that if u put €4,000 on an evens money shot like red or black on roulette, could make €4,000 profit in a matter of seconds. not exactly euro millions style odds and could have his debt cleared in a flash..?

Don't encourage it he has a problem! and it will never be solved if he continues gambling...

dr.bollocko

Well I think maybe Lorax is making a point about the reality of the situation. Its up to the OP to realise that he has ****ed up big time. You have to accept responsibility, you put your money on the table knowing the risks. Everyone who puts on a bet knows not to throw good money after bad, and everyone knows not to bet what you dont have. So its time to just stop, and take it on the chin. 4 grand is nothing if you just get back to work and start paying the thing off.
It is true that a number of people make all of their money from gambling. There are professional cards players and professional gamblers that do very well, but these people know everything about their sport (And generally have the finances to back large sums on odds-on bets) or are tournament players.
Those that do really badly dont tend to last long though, so I think it best OP if your cards days are put behind you and you figure out a straight way of paying off your debts.

c - 13

Take out a loan, pay off your debt.
Put it all behind you and stay out of casinos and card clubs.
Attend some gamblers anonymous meetings.
Pay off your loan.
Pretend it never happened.

Easier said than done, but if you dont stop it will only get worse for you.

tbh

OP, I don't think you are going to be beat this on your own. Get Help. If you get help now, I think in time you'll look back on this time as nothing more than a scary phase, as opposed to the start of where your life went wrong. There's nothing worse than regret. Best of luck, admitting you have a problem is the first step.

Nalz

Its odd, in the past 3 years,(Im only 23) Ive seen alot of threads in PI relating to one of the so called big things that happened to me personally through that period (women probs)...but this is the first one I have seen that relates to the other.

OP, I wasted an awful lot of money on horses and cards. Mostly horses. I shouldnt really be telling you this, but truthfully a lucky bet got me out of trouble big time. a 2 euro yankee got me out of the red, and I never wasted more than 50 euros on a horse since that day.

To you I say this: its a disease. The thrill of it all runs through your blood. You are in control of your decisions (so you think), but you are not in control of the outcomes. Gambling further is not the option at this stage. It needs to stop. Face the music Im afraid. G Anon can be good, but you are gonna need alot of support from family members and mates. Financially its tough, but a loan is the only solution I feel.

Good luck with it all

junii

By the way ive gone anon on this thread before with various problems. You really have to develop a right here, right now attitude with these things. Basically, take the second step now. The first one being coming here. If you leave it even until later on the impact of what people are saying here will have worn off. You will become lax and theres a good chance you will fall back into your old ways.

Check out Beruthiel's links. There may be a meeting this evening for all you know. Ring them right now. Ring the bank right now and organise getting a loan to pay off that debt. You will feel a great sense of relief and self control after taking these steps.

Drift

anonymous779 wrote:

I can actually play poker well

I think you need to move away from this sort of mentality becuase the fact that casino's are so profitable shows that 99.99% of people are not as good as they think they are. Gambling will not solve your debt problems. Hard work will though, especially if you're bright.

turbot

In the grander scheme of things, 4k isn't that much money.

While you say you would have saved it, you probably would have spent it on clothes / drink / other things... or this is at least possible.

So you have a choice - to STOP if you can't handle it, or can't fund your casino activities.

LegacyUser

As a bit of a degenerate gambler myself, might I suggest that rather than trying to go 'cold turkey' on the punting that you redirect it slightly.

First off, forget about the blackjack, the roulette, basically any games where you're competing against the casino. You cannot win in the long run. Period.

If you really are decent at the poker, try playing some low entry fee freezout tournaments. If you lose you'll be down 20 quid (or whatever the entry) but ya might claw a few hundred in if you do well. If you find yourself losing, then your not quite the poker player you thought and you can (nay must!) walk away from it.

As has been said, 4k is not a lot to be in debt, so if you get away from the compulsive side of gambling now you've learned a cheap lesson. I know a fella who lost more than that of someone elses credit card money in one nights online poker a couple of weeks ago. I myself am about twice that amount in debt, not even through gambling.

Most importantly, just dont try and chase losses, and by the same token if you're winning, don't think you should raise the stakes.

Beruthiel

Unreg141206 wrote:

Most importantly, just dont try and chase losses, and by the same token if you're winning, don't think you should raise the stakes.

Isn't that his problem though, he doesn't know when to stop. It's ok for people who know how to stick to their own rules, but once you slide into debt and are loosing yourself to it then it's time to go cold turkey.

phantom_lord

anonymous779 wrote:

I can actually play poker well

Drift wrote:

I think you need to move away from this sort of mentality becuase the fact that casino's are so profitable shows that 99.99% of people are not as good as they think they are. Gambling will not solve your debt problems. Hard work will though, especially if you're bright.

pfft, casinos make their money from bj, roulette and rake from poker. Playing poker can be extremely profitable, poker is not gambling.

If you're a winning player op then play cash games, that's where the profit it is. most likely tho you're not a winning player, so stick to low buy-in touraments or quit. and certainly stay away from the table games they're -evs.

Talliesin

Unreg141206 wrote:

Most importantly, just dont try and chase losses, and by the same token if you're winning, don't think you should raise the stakes.

A compulsive gambler can't not chase losses.

After all, it's always theoretically possible to win them back. It could happen. But whereas those of us who may gamble for fun on occasion will balance that "it could happen" with "but it probably won't" and go home, those with a problem won't.

One turn on the roulette wheel or hand of cards won't hurt you. However it will be one more case of gambling rather than not gambling.

OP. The 12 grand you're down is gone. You don't have 12grand worth of half-completed investment that another couple of grand could make profitable. Even if you are lucky in gambling for the rest of your life that 12grand is not connected to that in the slightest.

The 4 grand you're in debt isn't much (I'd love to be just 4 grand in debt). The speed at which you got in debt is something though.

Get help with the gambling. Get a loan if your debts aren't currently regular so you can be paying back money to a bank rather than all over the place and at an agreed and reasonable rate of interest.

tricky D

You have admitted the problem to yourself and had the courage to express it here, you now have the opportunity to start the road to recovery. Grasp it, do some restructuring of your lifestyle, there are plenty of other things to do - find them.

Phone the casinos you are a member of and bar yourself. Perhaps even some of those which you are not a member of too.
Make frank admissions of your situation to those close to you.
Arrange to go to a Gamblers Anon meeting within a matter of days.
Do these things now!!!

Once you have got yourself into your current position, you really have to give up totally as you just cannot trust yourself to manage any bankroll so forget about winning it back. Besides, it's not so much about the money, it's the friends and family that are the real big losses, as well as sleep, college, etc. Some posters seem to have missed that important bit.

at
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0utshined

anonymous779 wrote:

I can actually play poker well but the extent of my debt cause me to play recklessly in order to try and claw my way out.

Nope.

Sorry dude, I don't mean to be harsh but you are actually shít at poker. You've looked around the table and haven't spotted the sucker. You may be good against your friends but they don't hit up the casino's like you now, do they? If you were good then you wouldn't be in this mess and it hasn't happened overnight either has it? Ditch the ego and realise that gambling and you don't mix when there's higher stakes involved.

On the plus side you're only €4k in the hole. Forget this €12k rubbish. You coulda, woulda, shoulda saved it but you didn't. That's what being an adult is, you make your choices and live with the consequences. All you need to be worried about is the debt and if you strap your belt up then that'll be gone by the end of '07 no matter what your salary and you'll have learned a lesson. If your salary is good it'll be gone sooner.

If you need help living below your means check out the boards on fool.co.uk, the finance boards here, askaboutmoney.com and mabs.ie .

Best of luck dude.

RasTa

Sell your story to the Sun about the evils of the casino, how they tricked you with free poker tourneys . Demand 4grand.. problem solved.

Sinfonia

Check out the links Beruthiel posted.
Definitely confide in your family, and maybe some close friends.

I don't know your family, but based on the family I have, and the families of friends that I know well, they can and will help you.

Quit gambling - and by gambling I mean casino games against the house - the only occasional blackjack winners are card counters, and there are no long term roulette winners.
If you feel you really are good at poker, which, you probably aren't, because everyone who has won a hand of poker thinks they're great, then take it seriously, or don't play at all. If you do, consult the poker forum on boards.

And don't let this debt occupy your mind. There are always solutions. You have taken the first step by asking for advice here. Now take the next step.

And go for a run and get some sleep!

I would say 'best of luck' but you should understand that those days are over now. Control your own destiny.

LegacyUser

'Take it from me, go to a GA meeting straight away then go every day for a month or two. Afterwards you can keep it up once or twice a month. You'd be very surprised at the variety of people in there. You can say literally anything and people will understand.

It's hard to explain on a forum why or how it works-just walk in the door and you'll feel welcome immediately-I guarantee that your head will be a lot clearer and you will begin to start seeing the future without gambling.

I presume the 4k is already a loan or a credit card so the best thing to do is to start chipping away at it through overtime or a part time job or by economising your lifestyle. If you start at it instead of worrying it'll save you a lot of stress. It will also help you start 'normalising' your thinking.

Best wishes'

am i bovvered

After a long time reading Boards I have finally reg after reading your post.

I was once in a similar position , I am not going to go into figures but in a few years 4k will seem like a cheap lesson for the rest of your life.

The problem is the pain of losing the money stops you from solving the problem.

This is how i solved it , I accepted I had a problem , which you have done , congrats !! , I told myself that at some time in the future when I was older and wiser I would win my money back with a great punt.
It is now 12 years on and I am still not older or wise enough to put that bet on , that philosophy helped me cope with the pain of the loss of the money ,when that pain goes the CLARITY will return to your life and it is a great feeling.
I hope you can do this ,it can be really tough , it is a strong addiction , but your post reminded me of myself a few years ago so at least you know , it can be done.

rediguana

It's classic addiction. Get help immediately.

At this point, your debts aren't SO bad. I'm ten grand in debt from foreign holidays and fine wines. It's much of a muchness.

Don't allow it to spiral though. I assume there's a Gamblers' Anonymous. Get to one of their meetings, fast.

And watch your health. If you're too preoccupied to buy lots of food, cook etc, you need to stock up on things like cereal bars, unsalted nuts, fresh soups. Things that are simple to consume, but relatively calorific and nutritious.

Healio

anonymous779 wrote:

Then i moved to dublin for a new job. I decided one day to go to the casino and play poker (they run some free tournaments for beginners) i enjoyed this and played once a week for next few weeks spending no more than 30 a week.

The problem here is you moved up to dublin, or at least college up here. I'm presuming you knew few if any/many people up here. Then one night you hit one of the casino's, for a poker game (I've done it meself) and got a bit friendly with a few of the regulars. That was kind of an escape for you (one of the many reasons we gamble), being in dublin on your own, you then got a bit pal-ly with a few of them, and at the time you didnt relise you were paying(wasting) money just to be there with these so called friends. After a while you were almost best mates, but at the same time you thought you could "take" them at a game of poker like a friendly rivalry, and perhaps the odd time you might have won a bit off them, but in the long run you were always ending up out-played or card-dead (or whatever the excuse is these days). You would go home saying i only lost €100/€200/€500 tonight, but in a short space of time those 5 nights/6 nights were adding up to €500/€1000/€2500 a week/month (i dont know how regularly you went), but you were still adamant (from reading your post) that you were a good player. The fact of the matter is you weren't a good player more a gambler, the risk-taking carried more of a buzz for you than the actual monetary value of winning. It was at this point you turned into a gambler, deny it if you want but i guarantee if you think back hard enough you will remeber this turning point. Your little loss you got into the mind-frame that your a good poker-player and you were due a turn! (A little bit like your younger brother challenging you to a fight when you know you would knock him out with one punch.) I work in a bookies myself, i see the same people day-in, day-out, they'll come in the morning with 2/3 horses who they have studied the form all night, and will talk ****e about the horse all day, the odd time that will come in, but most of the time the 2/3 horses are well beaten, and they will then will resort to the "No.7 hasn't won at all today" or "No favourites have won @ "insert race-track" today". The thing is you and these people are in the same boat as you, gambling isn't fun anymore and doesnt have a monetary value, you are either doing it for the buzz, or you are chasing losses, and what you really need to learn is a good punter will bearly break even, and even after a bad string of results the CASINO/BOOKMAKERS ALWAYS WIN

anonymous779 wrote:

Gambling consumes me now. I am 4000 in debt + do not have 8 grand i would otherwise have saved.

TBH you are 4,000 in debt, which compared to what i've seen is small. But in fairness i do not know your circumstances, i.e. 4,000 to you might be 20,000 to someone else, im not here to judge, only offering advice. As has been said before, get yourself barred from the casino's, then find an activity to do the nights you would go out and play poker, maybe start a martial art , join a gym or join a football team. All you have to do is be busy the nights you would go to the casino, someone else above said don't go cold turkey, which i sort of agree with, get your weekly wage/dole/grant whatever, put the money for your rent/food/whatever aside, then see what you have left. If you can't afford a cheap game then dont go, ALWAYS and i mean ALWAYS only lose what you can afford to lose. If the odd week you can afford a cheap game go for it, just remember the best poker player isnt the richest poker player, but from what ive read in the poker forum a few too many of the cheap games will put you off it for life (which in your case might not be a bad thing!!), if you cant afford it keep the money and think what you can spend it on.

Good Luck for the future, and maybe give the links Beruthiel posted above a shot.

Sinfonia

Healio wrote:

The problem here is you moved up to dublin, or at least college up here. I'm presuming you knew few if any/many people up here. Then one night you hit one of the casino's, for a poker game (I've done it meself) and got a bit friendly with a few of the regulars. That was kind of an escape for you (one of the many reasons we gamble), being in dublin on your own, you then got a bit pal-ly with a few of them, and at the time you didnt relise you were paying(wasting) money just to be there with these so called friends. After a while you were almost best mates, but at the same time you thought you could "take" them at a game of poker like a friendly rivalry, and perhaps the odd time you might have won a bit off them, but in the long run you were always ending up out-played or card-dead (or whatever the excuse is these days). You would go home saying i only lost €100/€200/€500 tonight, but in a short space of time those 5 nights/6 nights were adding up to €500/€1000/€2500 a week/month (i dont know how regularly you went), but you were still adamant (from reading your post) that you were a good player. The fact of the matter is you weren't a good player more a gambler, the risk-taking carried more of a buzz for you than the actual monetary value of winning.

Where the hell did you get all this from? Did you read the same post as I did?

He/she mentioned that he/she played free poker tournaments, and cited BlackJack as the beginning of his/her gambling problem!

anonymous779 wrote:

i enjoyed this and played once a week for next few weeks spending no more than 30 a week. Then one day waiting for a tournament to start i played a few hands of blackjack to pass the time, betting 3 a time, that was the beginning. Its sick how it went from that to last week when i was betting 300 a time. Sick sick sick.

"spending no more than 30 a week", not "i only lost €100/€200/€500 tonight".
Not once in your post did you even mention BlackJack.

I don't mean to attack you or anything, I know you're trying to help, but I was just amazed that you made up this short story, claiming that "The problem here is you moved up to dublin..." etc. etc. with no indication from the OP that this is the case.