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[Request] The best "Bottom" comeback lines

  • 14-12-2006 11:04am
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 528 ✭✭✭


    Sorry, I don’t have a joke here. Just a request.

    I was watching “Bottom” recently and noticed some of the clever comeback lines the boys come out with. Richie asked Eddie “How do I look?” to which Eddie responded “With your eyeballs, don’t you”. I know that may not sound funny on paper, but can get a laugh when it’s used in the course of a conversation.

    Anyone know any other similar comeback lines from “Bottom” (or elsewhere) off the top of their heads?


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,382 ✭✭✭petes


    Bottom is a great show. I always liked it. Can't think of any off the top of my head though. Its been ages since I last saw it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,584 ✭✭✭c - 13


    In the episode where they go camping in the park -

    Ritchie: Eddie, what are we going to do ? We lost all our food, we'll starve to death !
    Eddie: Aha Ritchie. You might starve to death but I brought a packet of choc-o-late hob-nobs

    Not really a comeback, but a line thats stuck in my head for years.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 485 ✭✭tosh_thedude


    "Hey!! I wonder how much meat you get on a womble" - Eddie


    Eddie - "Eddie holds out hand to shake> 'hi, Eddie Hitler'

    Man- 'Eddie Hitler? Hmmm any relation?'

    Eddie- 'why yes actually'"

    Eddie : "Righty-dokey matey-bloke flap old salty sea-dog amigo skip- jack jockstrap piano-tuner, let's see you balls this one up! "

    Richie : "Ahhh, oh chess! God I adore chess! I should have been a chess champion. If I'd spent my whole life learning how to play chess better than everyone else in the world I could have been the chess champion. And I look a bit Slavic, don't you think? "

    Richie : "How do you actually play chess?"



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,220 ✭✭✭✭biko


    Great show, a couple of clips here


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,382 ✭✭✭petes


    "

    Eddie - "Eddie holds out hand to shake> 'hi, Eddie Hitler'

    Man- 'Eddie Hitler? Hmmm any relation?'

    Eddie- 'why yes actually'"



    The other one was

    Man: Edward Hitler

    Eddie: Yes. thats me

    Man: Any relation?

    Eddie: Well, I've got a mother!

    Man: I meant Adolf.

    Eddie: Yes, thats her.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18 Crowhill


    Richie: Four and a half hours ago you left to collect two fish suppers. I gave you one pound seventy-five in good faith. Where is my bit of halibut?

    Eddie: All right, here we go, right... One pound seventy-five, yeah, I remember that... Was that today? Well I blame the town planners, it's socially irresponsible to put the Lamb And Flag bang next door to Neptune's Pantry!

    Richie: You mean...

    Eddie: Yes! [drops his coat and hat next to the hatstand] I have liquidised your assets!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,268 ✭✭✭Zapho


    Ted: I'll give you one pound fifty for it
    Eddie: Lets haggle.
    Ted: Ok, a pound.
    Eddie: No, lets haggle upwards.
    Ted: 50p then!
    Eddie: Cor, they don't call you Harry the Bastard for nothin!
    Ted: Actually, my name's Ted....



    Brilliant!

    EDIT: Oh and this one

    [Eddie and Richie are watching the Carnival parade from their window]
    Richie: Did you see the floats?
    Eddie: I thought I flushed it!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,946 ✭✭✭slumped


    the episode where they get the pheremone sex spray - they walk into a sex shop

    Eddie: "This is a sex shop"
    Shopman: "Yes, yes it is"
    Eddie: "I'll have five quids worth then"
    Shopman: "Very good sir, never heard that before"
    Eddie: "Will I tell it again?"

    Not word for word but if you know the show, you'll know the clip.

    Also from same episode

    "Come back to my place, we're going to have it off!"

    S


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 29,930 ✭✭✭✭TerrorFirmer


    petes wrote:
    The other one was

    Man: Edward Hitler

    Eddie: Yes. thats me

    Man: Any relation?

    Eddie: Well, I've got a mother!

    Man: I meant Adolf.

    Eddie: Yes, thats her.

    Lol. bottom is brilliant. Loved Guest House Paradiso as well, great film. "Eddie - you've broken the pencil!"


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