I'm a guy, I like a guy...?

LegacyUser

Well hello everybody. Basically I have a very unusual situation. I am a guy and recently I have found myself attracted to another guy in my year. The thing is, I'm not gay though. Maybe I'm bi, but I don't really know. I'm confused on that front now though, as this is the first time I've been attracted to a guy. I was never attracted to guys before, but since falling for him perhaps I'm a little more open to that. But anyways...as I said I have really fallen for this guy, and I have a big crush I suppose you'd say. It started out as noticing that he was good looking and then somehow it developed into actually liking him. He isn't gay either, and I know he's had many girlfriends but sometimes I really think he likes me too. I've noticed him looking at me sometimes, and there are times when it seems he tries to sit near to me. Like in one class I sit beside his table, but someone sits between us (does that make sense? lol). But when the person between us is out he'll sit in that place so in effect beside me. When he does it he won't really talk to me though. He might ask about something I have with me or maybe some notes he missed, but never a full blown conversation. Maybe it's just wishful thinking but sometimes it just seems that he wants to get near to me. Another good example was last week when we had assembly. There are always different rows to stand in, and he usually doesn't stand in the same as mine. But this week he seemed to be standing as close as possible to me. While we were waiting for our teacher he was standing really close to me the whole time, and he's never done that before. Do you think it's all in my head? Sometimes I'll notice him look over at me if we have the same class, and I'll do the same. Or when we're in the corridor we'll make eye contact. But then sometimes I get absolutely nothing...he talks about girls alot and he seems to have a new girlfriend every 2nd week. So I am really confused. I really don't know how I'd ask him about the whole thing. What if he doesn't? I'd never be able to face him again if I told him and he didn't feel the same. Then everyone would think I'm gay or bi or whatever, and I don't want that. But if he likes me he probably feels exactly the same. I guess we both have alot to lose. I don't know why I'm posting this here though...I suppose there's not much help or advice you can give other than "Just ask him". The thing is it's just really not that easy...I don't know what to do! Do you think it's possible for him to actually like me if he doesn't appear to be gay??

Carrigart Exile

You a teenager, if so welcome to raging hormones. I think most guys have been there so stay calm.

Faith

This is a pretty normal thing to go through, OP. Your sexuality doesn't have to be defined, you don't have to be "straight" or "gay" or "bi". My friend refuses to identify herself with one sexuality and has been with both men and women.

Many people believe that everyone is, to some extent, bisexual. Maybe you're just discovering this earlier than most. I really wouldn't worry about your sexuality, if that is bothering you.

However, I can't give you much advice for this situation except maybe telling you to ask in the LGB forum. You can post anon there too (or ask the mods to just move this thread). They may be able to give you better advice in there.

LegacyUser

Heya OP you sound like a lovely guy, however i think that if you are in school with this guy there is absolutly no way that you should go for it.
First of all if you got together you would have to put up with constant slagging, and though this is awful it is the truth. Secondly if he refused either because he doesnt swing that way or simply because hes also afraid of the slagging you could be made to put up with a lot of ****e on your own.
Basically if you were not in a school environment i might be suggesting different but as you are i would in no way go for it.
Hope it works out for you!

LegacyUser

'

~nop~ wrote:

Heya OP you sound like a lovely guy, however i think that if you are in school with this guy there is absolutly no way that you should go for it.
First of all if you got together you would have to put up with constant slagging, and though this is awful it is the truth. Secondly if he refused either because he doesnt swing that way or simply because hes also afraid of the slagging you could be made to put up with a lot of ****e on your own.
Basically if you were not in a school environment i might be suggesting different but as you are i would in no way go for it.
Hope it works out for you!

Maybe you're right, but I can't just get over him. I've tried and there have been times when I've stopped thinking about him (e.g. midterm, summer etc.) but then when I see him again I just like him all over again. Seeing him every school day makes it impossible to get over him.

Plus if we actually ever did get together it would be completely secret. But people would probably find out somehow . Ukh I dunno.

Anyways, thanks everyone for the comments. I don't feel so unusual now.'

Talliesin

You have a crush. Crushes pass, though they are very strong and very real at the time. Most crushes are also inappropriate - if it was for a girl it could very easily be a girl that really can't stand you, etc.

It sucks, but it passes.

Enjoy being all moony about him, thinking he's dreamy and imagining both romantic and sexy things you could do with him while the crush is still raging. It'll pass but won't pass straight away so you might as well enjoy it rather than feel anxious because of it.