Friends Ex's??

LegacyUser

Hi
Right I got to know a girl about 3 years ago, and I always liked her, and kinda fell in love with her (I was/am very shy and stupidly didn't do anything about it). SO after a year she started to go out with a friend of mine.
She then headed off for a year and her and her boyfriend were doing the long distance thing. But while away they broke up. While she was away we did keep in alright contact while she was away. Now I am good friends with her old boyfriend and he took it hard when they broke up. They were going out for a year and a bit. They brock up nearly a year now. They say they are ok about each other but I am not so sure, I still think my mate stll has feeling for her, or he is still a bit sore about the break up.

Since she came home I see her a good bit and we really get on. And I think she likes me but what can I do? I dont want to be a prick to my firend but then I still want to go out with her....

Any help?

Thanks in advance!

Kell

What2Do wrote:

Any help?

Ask her out. If your mate has a spa attack, then he's just an immature little twat who'll come around eventually.

K-

Maccattack

Kell wrote:

Ask her out. If your mate has a spa attack, then he's just an immature little twat who'll come around eventually.

K-

THE END.

Black Swan

Looks like you have to choose between your friend and his ex-g/f? The old love triangle surfaces? You could lose both?

anon123456789

Why don't you bing your friend out for a drink and say to him you have feelings for her and that you would like to give it a go. See what he says. He will respect you so much more for saying it to him BEFORE you do anything as opposed to doing something and THEN telling him. I'm sure if you explain and he is reasonable he will say go for it.

Good Luck

LegacyUser

'

anon123456789 wrote:

Why don't you bing your friend out for a drink and say to him you have feelings for her and that you would like to give it a go. See what he says. He will respect you so much more for saying it to him BEFORE you do anything as opposed to doing something and THEN telling him. I'm sure if you explain and he is reasonable he will say go for it.

Good Luck

Yeah this is what I was thinking, I dont think I could try it on without clearing it with him first.

I just wanted to make sure that I shouldn't stay away altogether.'

Kell

Blue_Lagoon wrote:

Looks like you have to choose between your friend and his ex-g/f?

This is rubbish. There "should" be no choosing involved. Its been a year. If everyone is grown up about things, then no problem.

Think about it BL. Would you like to be the one in 20yrs time regretting that you had lost a good mate because you didnt want him seeing your EX? Sheesh.

The operative word here people is EX, and it seems to me that sufficient time has passed without seeming like the OP has been fishing for his moment for ages. A friend of mine still hasnt moved on from his ex two years later (although he is with someone) and at this stage he is just an annoying cúnt about it with or without her in company.

As I said, if the OP's mate has a problem then, given a few months people will bore of his shíte and tell him to cop on. If he is a grown up, there wont be any shíte.

K-

turbot

Life is too short to pander to what you imagine someone else may feel.

You should go for it - your turn now.

John Mason

Ask her out - life is too short not too - she could be knocked down by a bus tomorrow and you would spend your whole life boring your friends "i should have asked her out blah blach" do it for the sake of your friends

What2Do wrote:

Hi
Right I got to know a girl about 3 years ago, and I always liked her, and kinda fell in love with her (I was/am very shy and stupidly didn't do anything about it). SO after a year she started to go out with a friend of mine.
She then headed off for a year and her and her boyfriend were doing the long distance thing. But while away they broke up. While she was away we did keep in alright contact while she was away. Now I am good friends with her old boyfriend and he took it hard when they broke up. They were going out for a year and a bit. They brock up nearly a year now. They say they are ok about each other but I am not so sure, I still think my mate stll has feeling for her, or he is still a bit sore about the break up.

Since she came home I see her a good bit and we really get on. And I think she likes me but what can I do? I dont want to be a prick to my firend but then I still want to go out with her....

Any help?

Thanks in advance!

cornbb

I was in the other guy's position before. Its not a nice situation to be in. Even after a year there's a very strong possibility you will piss off your best friend a lot if you end up with this girl, especially if you reckon he might still have some emotion baggage, like you said. Beware. You have a tough judgement to make.

free2fly

I agree that you should talk to your friend about it before asking her out. You don't need to ask his permission. Just tell him that you value his friendship and wanted to let him know first that you are thinking about asking her out. If he respects your friendship then he should appreciate the fact that you were upfront with him.

Lust4Life

Yup. Talk to your mate about your feelings.

But I wouldn't ask permission. I'd just sort of give him a heads up.
"Hey, I've been in contact with _______ and I'm thinking about asking her out. I hope you don't mind. It has been a year after all and we have a lot in common."

He may be cool about it. You won't know until you talk.


I once dated a friend's Ex and she was VERY cool about it.