I need your opinion!

LegacyUser

Ok. Kind of confused. Started college and made loads of friends. I have a boyfriend of 3 years.

A few days ago I was out with some people from college and one of the fellas made a move on me. He happened to be the one and only fella in the class who I thought was good looking, in fact I think he's absolutely gorgeous, so I was like quite happy with myself. He also has a girlfriend of a good while. He seemed quite sober at the beginning when he first came onto me and as the night went on we both had a good few drinks and it was fair to say we were both drunk. Anyway after the club, we kissed and some other stuff and that was it. Afterwards I asked why did you cheat on your gf, he said ''i dunno, experiencing college life i guess''. I didn’t really know what to make of that answer.
Anyway next day I see him in college and he's like ''sorry bout last night, i was really drunk, let's just forget about it. One of my mates asked me if anything happened with us and i said no..so if any of your mates ask, you say the same'' What does this mean?? I have no idea. Is it ''I can't believe i was actually with you last night, how embarrassing for me, let's not tell anyone'' or something else? Even if our college mates knew it would never get back to his gf or my bf.

I don't need a lecture on cheating so please leave it out.

Basically I just want some opinions on what you think he meant by that?
Thanks

Fanny Cradock

Here's my opinion:

Your lack of contrition is astounding.

It goes a long way to explaining your apparent inability to fathom that he is probably feeling guilty.

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END SELF-RIGHTEOUS TRANSMISSION

---

event

he doesnt want anyone to know he cheated on his gf

end of story

Red Hand

Well, you say that no rumour of what you both did would reach your respective partners, but that's not always the case. He was covering his ass 9and experiencing college life. )

free2fly

It sounds as if he was feeling guilty about cheating on his gf.

padser

hmmmm wrote:

Even if our college mates knew it would never get back to his gf or my bf.

Ok so there is pretty much no need for him to lie about it while in college, certainly not from his GF's point of view

hmmmm wrote:

it was fair to say we were both drunk.

hmmmm wrote:

Anyway next day I see him in college and he's like ''sorry bout last night, i was really drunk, let's just forget about it. One of my mates asked me if anything happened with us and i said no..so if any of your mates ask, you say the same''

Yup, looks like he is having serious regrets so, in fairness loads of us have gone places when we were drunk (and in dark nightclubs) that we wouldnt consider going anywhere near when we are sober. He obviously doesnt want any of his friends to find out about it.

Sorry, but ya did ask

onemanband

He is feeling guilty and does not want his girlfriend to find out. That does not mean he does not like you and that you both may not hook up again in the future.

Patricide

Well sorry to have to say this but i dont care how drunk or how good looking that guy was for you to cheat on your boyfreind of 3 years you are SCUM

Now that thats out, he just doesnt want anyone to know he cheated on his girlfreind could be a player or it just be a once off, who knows

humbert

He's having fun in college, exactly as he said, and I presume you showed an interest. Now he's worried about getting caught and I suspect doesn't want it to go any farther anyway so is playing the girlfriend/mistake card, I'm not buying the feeling guilty thing. I do hope your bf doesn't feel strongly about you and is as relaxed about the relationship as you are or you are treating him very unkindly. Don't keep him around while you shop for something better in college, it's not fair.

Patricide

What he said

Black Swan

Drink and college life are poor excuses for something missing in your relationship with your b/f. The same can be said for the other guy.

MojoMaker

All she did was give the lad a handjob, it's not the end of the world. She hasn't slept with him yet.

Colm_OReilly

OP,

I think you pulled the brakes on this one. When you asked him why he cheated on his gf (I hate that whole term btw) you probably made him feel guilty?

Not to be rude, but he could have been caught up in the passion and if it was post ejaculatory he might have begun to have a realisation of what he'd done. Then you ask him a question which means he can no longer avoid asking himself the same thing.

That's a lot of guilt and he'll associate the guilt with you. I'm curious, would you have liked him to ask you why you cheated?

Things could have been fine if they were left unsaid.

Anyway, just wanted to offer a different point of view,
Colm

Kell

hmmmm wrote:

Basically I just want some opinions on what you think he meant by that?

You're in college and are asking a question like that? Jeebus.

Its quite simple really. He regrets the encounter and would rather keep it hush hush. The other thing might be that without the booze goggles, he thinks you are not as hot as he thought and is embarassed.

K-

turbot

Hey don't assume he is actually feeling guilty - I'd say the safest assumption is that he doesn't want to be caught.

BobTheBeat

As was already stated,you probably remind him of the act of betrayal he performed on his girlfriend.Write it off against experience.

Also,aside,do the decent thing and cut your boyfriend loose.

dellas1979

Oh dear.

Im afraid its a lecture youre going to get.

When you asked "why did you cheat on your girlfriend?" what answer did you expect back? Did you expect him to say "cause I think you are a stunningly gorgeous woman (not at all slutty or 2 faced), and you are better than her"?

Haha! get over yourself. I know you are young and have many lessons to learn, so learn this one.

dr.bollocko

Well thats two relationships that should be over then isnt it?

justsomebloke

hmmmm wrote:

Afterwards I asked why did you cheat on your gf, he said ''i dunno, experiencing college life i guess''. I didn’t really know what to make of that answer.

well if he had asked you the same question what would you have said.

Chances are that he is just covering his own ass. The less people know the better, he probably doesn't want his friends in college to know he is a a dirty cheat, however you don't seem to mind if that is what your friends think of you. Just remember some times your college life and your home life can come together without you knowing so don't just assume your BF will never find out, cause chances are if you aren't feelign guilty about it now that you will probably do it again

Kinetic^

IMO , You're a horrible horrible whore and should tell your bf. :rolleyes: you asked for my opinion so I gave it to you.

He's covering his own ass.

nialo

Kenny 5 wrote:

IMO , You're a horrible horrible whore and should tell your bf. :rolleyes: you asked for my opinion so I gave it to you.

He's covering his own ass.

Short to the point and true....

Op u have ur answer at this stage..

onemanband

Kenny 5 wrote:

IMO , You're a horrible horrible whore and should tell your bf. :rolleyes: you asked for my opinion so I gave it to you.

He's covering his own ass.

Kenny 5 you did not ask my opinion but i'll give it anyway, you're a fuxkin psycho for that comment.

Kinetic^

onemanband wrote:

Kenny 5 you did not ask my opinion but i'll give it anyway, you're a fuxkin psycho for that comment.

K thanks, like you said I didn't ask for it, so keep your opinions to yourself.......anyone that knows me, knows I'm a psycho but you don't so you can't call me it!!!;)

upthere

hmmmm wrote:

Ok. Kind of confused. Started college and made loads of friends. I have a boyfriend of 3 years.

A few days ago I was out with some people from college and one of the fellas made a move on me. He happened to be the one and only fella in the class who I thought was good looking, in fact I think he's absolutely gorgeous, so I was like quite happy with myself. He also has a girlfriend of a good while. He seemed quite sober at the beginning when he first came onto me and as the night went on we both had a good few drinks and it was fair to say we were both drunk. Anyway after the club, we kissed and some other stuff and that was it. Afterwards I asked why did you cheat on your gf, he said ''i dunno, experiencing college life i guess''. I didn’t really know what to make of that answer.
Anyway next day I see him in college and he's like ''sorry bout last night, i was really drunk, let's just forget about it. One of my mates asked me if anything happened with us and i said no..so if any of your mates ask, you say the same'' What does this mean?? I have no idea. Is it ''I can't believe i was actually with you last night, how embarrassing for me, let's not tell anyone'' or something else? Even if our college mates knew it would never get back to his gf or my bf.

I don't need a lecture on cheating so please leave it out.

Basically I just want some opinions on what you think he meant by that?
Thanks

You sound like someone with little or not emotion or quality as a character! I classify exs like that as sub human or primative mentality. You go for looks I can see. If you see someone post where they say "gorgeous" that's why they like them. Anything after is just an extra like nice personality bullSZhit!
I'd hate to have a child with you, are you even good looking? You don't sound it anyway./

And also too add, if your both Irish students, I doubt both of yiz are exactly Calvin Cleain(whatever t f98ck) model types! Get over yourselves! Disgusting! Go do some honest work. Were his hips thinner than yours?

Stargal

Ok, the OP is clearly in the wrong here but there's no need for some of the name-calling and insults that are being thrown at her.

OP: Why are you so annoyed about the guy's response? Were you hoping that he'd say that the two of you should get together?

I know you don't want a lecture on cheating, but you really need to look at things with your boyfriend. You hardly mention him in your post, and don't mention whether you regret or feel any guilt about what you did. Have you told him about it? Are you going to?

dudara

Kenny 5 wrote:

K thanks, like you said I didn't ask for it, so keep your opinions to yourself.......anyone that knows me, knows I'm a psycho but you don't so you can't call me it!!!;)

And I don't want you insulting people on this board, even if you don't agree with her.

Please read the charter and only post in a helpful manner.
dudara

upthere

Ok the Op is a bad person(is that an insult?).

Kold

Christ there're a lot of pedestals to try and shout over here...

He had an attack of hormones and basically, why would there be any need to spread it about? Were you hoping it was the start of a beautiful new relationship with the sexiest guy ever that you obviously rank above your boyfriend of 3 years? It wasn't, I'm afraid.

magick

Looks like he got his Cake and ate it too



(hopfully it wasnt a chocolate cake) :eek:

upthere

I have to say Ireland has one of the worlds most unnatractive female populations(just my opinion so please don't ban me). But the females here are so choosey and think they're good looking. What is it? Imagine getting cheated on by someone ugly! What a low insult!

Nevyn

upthere banned for persistant off topic and unhelpful postings.

Loomis

hmmmm wrote:

Ok. Kind of confused. Started college and made loads of friends. I have a boyfriend of 3 years.

A few days ago I was out with some people from college and one of the fellas made a move on me. He happened to be the one and only fella in the class who I thought was good looking, in fact I think he's absolutely gorgeous, so I was like quite happy with myself. He also has a girlfriend of a good while. He seemed quite sober at the beginning when he first came onto me and as the night went on we both had a good few drinks and it was fair to say we were both drunk. Anyway after the club, we kissed and some other stuff and that was it. Afterwards I asked why did you cheat on your gf, he said ''i dunno, experiencing college life i guess''. I didn’t really know what to make of that answer.
Anyway next day I see him in college and he's like ''sorry bout last night, i was really drunk, let's just forget about it. One of my mates asked me if anything happened with us and i said no..so if any of your mates ask, you say the same'' What does this mean?? I have no idea. Is it ''I can't believe i was actually with you last night, how embarrassing for me, let's not tell anyone'' or something else? Even if our college mates knew it would never get back to his gf or my bf.

I don't need a lecture on cheating so please leave it out.

Basically I just want some opinions on what you think he meant by that?
Thanks

It seems like he's displaying the fact he has a conscience - something you seem to be lacking since the only thing you're thinking about is "gee why is this guy I cheated with acting strange?" as opposed to anything else like maybe wondering why you ****ed up and treated your boyfriend of 3 years like ****e; little things like that.
You told people not to give you a lecture but to be honest you sound like you need one. It's quite obvious why the guy is acting like he is so needing to ask us makes you come across a bit thick really as well as inconsiderate and selfish

Gordon

Mr. Anderson wrote:

It's quite obvious why the guy is acting like he is so needing to ask us makes you come across a bit thick really as well as inconsiderate and selfish

Which is how you are coming across if you are just going to wildly throw about insults like that. Maybe he found out who your boyfriend is, OP? Who knows? If you care - ask him, if you don't then let it be as you both cheated.

A lie is a truth that is dying to be told, like air in water - they always come to the surface eventually.

Loomis

Gordon wrote:

Which is how you are coming across if you are just going to wildly throw about insults like that. Maybe he found out who your boyfriend is, OP? Who knows? If you care - ask him, if you don't then let it be as you both cheated.

A lie is a truth that is dying to be told, like air in water - they always come to the surface eventually.

Cheating on someone at any time is horrible and selfish, let alone on a partner of 3 years. A few people have said that to her already; curious you've only had a problem with me though

Gordon

I have a problem with anyone after people have been warned and banned on this thread.