How much to spend on a wedding gift?

frobisher

It's to be in the form of a shop voucher for a freinds wedding abroad. Any ideas on how much these things should be for?

Sposs

The normal range nowadays is €200.

CherieAmour

I think the prices of wedding gifts are scandalous these days, really!! When you're giving cash or a voucher I've heard of €100 minimum.

A lot of people buy actual gifts like crystal or silver that doesn't cost as much as that and they get to give a beautiful gift without revealing the price!

Since when did 100 - 200 quid become expected? I heard of someone putting 'no cash gifts under 150 please' at the end of their invitation. I think that is horrendous.

What happened to going and sharing the day with your friends and loved ones and the celebration of the union being the whole point of it? - I think we've lost the plot! Especially when you consider the price of your outfit, hotel, taxi, drink for the day etc etc etc. I think it's getting ridiculous. most people I know dread going to them.:(

Sposs

I think its the fact its costs the bride and groom 20 - 35k for the wedding , so your merely paying for your dinner.

seamus

It depends on how much money you have and your relationship to the couple.

For one of my brothers, or a really good friend, I'd probably pay something in the region of €200. For other family (cousins, etc), I'd pay around €100.

For a wedding where I've been invited along by someone, but don't really know the couple, I'd give no more than €50.

kevmy

seamus wrote:

It depends on how much money you have and your relationship to the couple.

Totally agree. If you've only started a new job or your a student or if your just stuck for cash it has to be different. E50 from some people is worth more than E200 from a millionare cos it costs them much more in real terms.

Also close friends and family deserve more than, lets say, work colleagues or friends of friends.

Miss Fluff

CherieAmour wrote:

I heard of someone putting 'no cash gifts under 150 please' at the end of their invitation. I think that is horrendous.(

SWEET.BABY.JESUS. I take it they had a small number at the wedding then? The cheek!!:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

I think the standard is €150 if going on your own and €250 if going as a couple. To be honest, I think a really nice piece of crystal/silver is far more tasteful. I find this whole money business extremely vulgar. It's like inviting people to your wedding and asking them to contribute to their meal. VILE.

And don't get me started on wedding lists. Grrrrrr.

(Miss Fluff shakes her fist at her PC)

Sad Professor

CherieAmour wrote:

I heard of someone putting 'no cash gifts under 150 please' at the end of their invitation. I think that is horrendous.

That's ridiculous. Who do they think they are? I wouldn't give them anything.

Lothaar

€150 per person? Fvck.

I got married recently and received presents ranging from €50 per person to €150 per person (excluding a few exceptionally generous presents from close relations). The amount of money you can spare is a factor - so if you're a broke student or a single parent you probably can't spare as much as others.

TBH - €75-€100 per person is about right. You're basically paying for your dinner.

Ruu_Old

CherieAmour wrote:

I think the prices of wedding gifts are scandalous these days, really!! When you're giving cash or a voucher I've heard of €100 minimum.

A lot of people buy actual gifts like crystal or silver that doesn't cost as much as that and they get to give a beautiful gift without revealing the price!

Since when did 100 - 200 quid become expected? I heard of someone putting 'no cash gifts under 150 please' at the end of their invitation. I think that is horrendous.

What happened to going and sharing the day with your friends and loved ones and the celebration of the union being the whole point of it? - I think we've lost the plot! Especially when you consider the price of your outfit, hotel, taxi, drink for the day etc etc etc. I think it's getting ridiculous. most people I know dread going to them.:(

Moved from AH.
They should be ashamed of themselves asking for it. Cousins of mine done the same, asked for money on the invitations, I didn't go to the wedding.

Whatever you can afford as seamus mentioned. I wouldn't spend anymore than 50-100 euro.

seamus

Ruu wrote:

Moved from AH.
They should be ashamed of themselves asking for it. Cousins of mine done the same, asked for money on the invitations, I didn't go to the wedding.

Whatever you can afford as seamus mentioned. I wouldn't spend anymore than 50-100 euro.

TBH, I've no problem with a couple requesting cash gifts in this day and age - often the cost of houses and weddings means that many couples badly need cash above anything. There's also the factor that many couples will have lived together and furnished a home before getting married, and so require 20 toasters and 50 sets of cutlery even less. Saying, "If you wish to give a gift, cash would be preferable", or letting it be known via the grapevine (like my cousing did) that you want cash instead of gifts, is fine IMO.

Expecting or demanding a gift is wrong at any occasion.

CherieAmour

I understand the practicalities of looking for money, and understand the (often unnecessary it must be said) costs of weddings today, but i think we've gotten to a stage now where it is expected that you give a certain amount or else it's a slight on the couple, and I don't think it's right.

Like others have said here, everyone has a different financial situation, and anyone that turns up their noses at a gift that they don't consider substantial enough, is only inviting people to get presents/cover the cost of the wedding. If I got a feeling off anyone that this is why they were asking me, I wouldn't go.

Is it no longer seen as commendable that you give up your day and night, take annual leave, get all dressed up in new clobber and spend 140 quid on a hotel room and put some thought into a gift that you see fitting in order to share in the joy of the marriage of two people if that gift doesnt hit the €200 mark?

It was a joy to be invited to a wedding recently of someone I don't know too well when that person accepted my gift with genuine surprise and said, I didn't want a gift from you, I would have been happy enough that you came to share the day.

if it left me in a black hole of debt, I would rather that than give people the impression that I was only inviting them so that the wedding could be paid for.

Again, like others have said on here, a family member should be different to a friend or work colleague, but in my experience, the same amount is expected across the board.

SueL

From talking to friends of mine about amounts the give, it seems to be from 75-100 per head, depending on how close they are to the couple. Like the others before said, you're covering the cost of your meal, and adding a few quid on top. The venue will normally give you an idea of what you think the couple might be paying per head for the food.

east1981

Im best man at my brothers wedding next week. Now I recently broke up with my long-term gf, we as a couple would have given 300 together. I feel I should give 200 on my own now. Being the best man, I think this is about right. About 100 per person is about normal, especially if your not directly related to the bride and groom.

Cerdito

I'm going to my cousin's wedding at the end of December - worst timing ever. Right after buying Christmas presents, Christmas nights out, a holiday I had at the start of the month, and I'm on a relatively average wage for a 26-year old.

I'm not particularly close to this cousin. I see him roughly once a year on Christmas day, have only been invited to the afters, and am really only going for the knees up with my extended family (I'm so bad! ).

I was going to get something for about €50 - would this be ok or should I spend more?

Kolodny

I really don't agree with this whole standard amount thing. I appreciate that couples spend a lot on entertainment for the day but in a group of 100 odd guests or more, not everyone will be able to afford to give the same and they shouldn't be expected to. Any bride and groom that set a target for their cash collection should probably enquire as to the annual income of all their nearest and dearest before sending out the invitations.

Give what you can afford - you're making a contribution to their wedding day/honeymoon/household/whatever and being there for the 'big day', isn't that enough? And, as has been pointed out already, the personal cost to yourself of actually attending the wedding - outfit, accommodation, transport etc. can be high enough as it is. I'm sure most couples appreciate that.

Oul Wan

Cerdito wrote:

I was going to get something for about €50 - would this be ok or should I spend more?

In my opinion, no. It's the thought that counts, not the amount.

It's generally accepted that a guest covers the cost of their meal when they attend a wedding. 150 euro per couple was the norm when I got married last year. Having said that, we weren't expecting this from our guests. Most of them had to travel miles and book hotels.

It's very bad etiquette for a couple to specify on an invitation that they would like a cash gift. This should be done by word of mouth, through parents/friends, but never written. And no amount should be specified either. I think that's dreadful.

dame

Cerdito, if you're only going to the afters I definitely wouldn't be worrying about the amount to put in a card. I know you feel like you want to give them something but really and truly the evening guests only cost them a few cocktail sausages so it's not like you're expected to cover the cost of your meal or anything. Oh and the cost of a meal is generally between 45-80 euro a head for weddings so 100 per person is extremely generous anyway. Having said that, I always give the 100, whoever's getting married, just so as not to be seen as a scrooge and cos all the friends have kinda decided that all give 100. I think if couples want a big wedding that's fine, invite all you like, but don't be expecting cash from everyone to cover their meals. When an acquaintance (not even a friend really) asks you to their wedding you're flattered but at the same time you can feel like "rent-a-crowd" - look at us we've got loads of friends! It's extremely off-putting to get an invite with "cash gifts only" or to be told that months in advance by the bridesmaid or whoever.

CathyMoran

We are not asking for gifts (though I am accepting a huge gift from daddy and mummy as a contribution towards the wedding), people are asking though, to be honest as long as everyone has a good day we would be happy, though I must admit that I would love some money towards a holiday but do not want to ask as I do not want to put anyone under any pressure.