Big Important Decision

IbanezFreak

Hey,
Im 18 and lately Ive been trying to deal with some very tough decisions. Im the youngest in the family of four (1 older sister). Last year was one of toughest years of my life, after screwing up alot of my life hanging around with a wrong group of people and messing up alot home I promised myself and my parents I would do "my best" in the leaving cert. I literally locked myself away in my room all year and studied my brains out for the exam but at the same time I could never really make up my mind about what I really wanted to do in third level education. My ultimate goal was really to do well in the leaving I wasnt really working my brains off for a course I was dying to do.
At home my mum always pushed me relentlessly to achieve in school. My father was the complete opposite who, although he supports my education would really love to see me doing a trade such as an electrician since that is the one thing he always wanted to be himself. In my house my mum always said "Do your best" and that rubbed off alot on me and my sister. Pressure was always high to do well in school in my house. There was massive competition between me and my sister in school. She would constantly frown upon me if my grade slipped in school as she was always a high achiever.
Well I ended putting down the same course as my sister on my CAO. It was an extremely good business course in Trinity college. I couldnt decide between that and any other courses so I decided that since the first year was a common general year I still had time to make big decisions in my course. I got well above the points needed for it and was looking forward to starting it. Now Im coming up to my exams and Im considering dropping out. One of the main reasons is that after the lc I developed alot more of my social life and obviously in college also but the course that Im doing involves SO much reading and work that I have to give up almost all my social life if I am to do well in it. I dont even enjoy much of my subjects, and some I struggle very hard with. Basically i dont really have the motivation I had during the leaving cert and Im conciously after becoming very lazy ie. Sleeping and not working in college.
My sister calls me lazy and spoilt for not sticking with my course. I must agree Im lazy, I dont even have the motivation to study the week before my exams. But I reckon Im burnt out or something. I know Im not a lazy person in life, its just nothing is really pushing and driving me in this course. I seriously cant emphasise how strenuous the leaving cert was for me. After that I went straight into work for the Summer.
At the moment my plan I think is to quit college and think about where Im going in life. Ill have to work in a normal job for the year, earn approx €2500 to pay my fees to start a new course. Or maybe I wont go to college. Perhaps a trade. My mum always seriously advised me never to do a trade. She always said I viewed it as " the easy way out in life". Lately however Ive been thinking maybe I would like it. The day finishes early enough and the rest is your free time. Whats wrong with it being the easy way out? In my free time I could do normal lazy things that I cannot do without feeling guilty and worrying about studying. I could perhaps mix that with giving guitar lessons which I really enjoy doing. Three quarters of the reason that attracts me to a trade is the "simple life" aspect of it. The other main reason is that i could be self employed which is a big benefit to me. Its really impossible for me to make up my mind about a career! Has anyone suggestions or comments about my situation(Apart from going to a careers guidence counsellor!! *Thats on the agenda!), especially about doing a trade and should I give up my opportunity to get a good degree?
Thanks in advance

cornbb

I don't know many people at all who knew what they wanted to do with their lives straight out of school. Its tough deciding on a college course, it must be even tougher on deciding between college or a trade. I wouldn't worry a whole pile about deciding on an exact career path, you'd be surprised how things can pan out and become clear after a few years. With regard to college, its surprisingly easy to make up your mind later, by choosing an open ended course, doing a masters etc. I gotta say too, college is a blast, if you enjoy your course then you can work hard, play hard and have the time of your life. Then again the benefits of being a tradesman sound good too.

Whatever choice you make, don't worry about it, nothing is really set in stone straight after the leaving.

Catari Jaguar

Maybe take a year out to get to know yourself more, even travel, do volunteer work, get the whole party scene out of the way, cos u will get bored of it after a while. You're still so young yet, it's normal not to know what you want to do. Even do some night classes that interest you to get the ball rolling.

Remember that a degree doesn't mean that you HAVE to work in that particular field. They open doors, show that you learned skills like research, independent working and are reliable and able to finish what you start. My cousin worked her ass off for a science degreee and is doing accountancy now and she loves it. My aunt got a degree in architecture and became a primary school teacher!

College is always hard at the start when you're settling in, you WILL be wrecked and juggling lots of stuff, and WILL dislike some subjects before you get into them properly.

You're obv a hardworker when you're interested, with brains to burn (if u got enough points for TCD!) I think it would be a definite waste and you would regret it if you didn't get a qualification of some sort.

Bear in mind that doing a trade would be just as hard (with a lot more physical hardwork) as most college courses. When you finally do qualify the work can be sporadic with a LOT of competition. The starting pay is sh1t and you have to deal with a lot of bitchy customers. And you might have to do verrry early morning and work late a lot. it's no doss.

You could talk to welfare or education officer in Trinity in house 6 I think. Think of what makes you happy and what subjects you loved most and you might get some direction. But don't worry too much, things will fall into place.

Best of luck

o1s1n

Being a tradesman is not "the simple way out".

My father is a painter and decorator by trade. Has his own business. Constantly has to look for work. Put ads in papers. Circulate fliers. Free estimations. What do you do if there's no work coming in? A trade business is the exact same as any other business as far as head wreaking goes.

Working as an apprentice tradesman also has its down sides. Very bad pay for the first few years. Where'd you get the short hours from? If a job has to be finished by a certain time, you're not going anywhere. Believe me, i know. Spent a couple of summers doing it myself while saving for college. Working in Crumlin Childrens Hospital. Trying to paint around kids every day in intensive care wards and the like. Heavy stuff.

If you want to do a trade, fair enough. But you'll get absolutely nowhere with a half arsed attitude. In life there really is "no easy way out"

Steyr

If your adventerous how about joining the DF ( Army? Navy? Air Corps? )

Its really enjoyable you will make friends for life, it would be a great confidnce boost also! Me im in the RDF hoping to go to the DF.

see www.military.ie for more!


Army


Navy


Air Corps



Just a suggestion!:o

The Hill Billy

OP - Steyr's idea is a good one & worth careful consideration.

One of The Billy Clan was in a situation similar to yours a few years ago. His mates were getting up to no good, he dropped out of college due to lack of interest. Fair dues to the young lad - he took a step back from it all & thought about what he really wanted to do...

He was athletic, liked the outdoors, wanted to travel a bit & wanted to clear his head away from family & former mates. So he enlisted in the army.

6 years on, he's still enjoying it. He's been on a few overseas duties where he received a commendation for bravery ("saved the lives of 341 men, women & children" along with 5 of his mates), he has loads of solid mates, his own house, a great social life. I could go on.

You could do a lot worse than serving your country. Surely Mammy would be proud(?) & you could pick up a trade while you're there too.

Best of luck!

hunnymonster

Don't rush any decision. You should have a tutor in trinity, go and talk to him or her. Do it now before the exams. We are used to students having a tough time in college, particularly in first year and there are structures in place to help.

My personal feeling is that you can't go wrong with a degree. You'll always have it and even if you don't use it directly the time in college will have helped you in all sorts of ways. The decision is, of course, yours to make but don't rush it.

Crash

ok contact and talk to your tutor ASAP before you make any decisions. If your tutor is no use at all, email the senior tutor and ask to be changed, and give a reason along the lines of "i'm not happy with this person", and they'll get you a nice new shiny one.

Then if you want a student to talk to, drop into the SU in house 6 and have a chat with Rob on the whole education side of stuff, and Denise on the whole other side of stuff. Both are very helpful and very willing to help.

Little-Devil

I was same as you a few years back and i was just working not worrying about the future. I always said college was not for me like so may do, but decided i would give it a go and got diploma in the end, which i was delighted with. There were times i wanted to drop out, but i wanted to get the qualifications to give me better opportunities in the future. I don't think college and university is for everyone and maybe it’s not for you, but it could also be that you are simply doing the wrong course. I noticed you give Guitar lessons which you say you enjoy? Why not look at doing a music and literature course in DCU where you could teach music etc in the future?

IT sounds to me (cliché I know ) your trying to please your mother and that’s understandable as she wants the best for you, but are you doing all this just to please her? Your mother and sister won’t be around forever and you will have to make choices yourself in the future.

I would suggest looking at a music course as i suggested, but i would also look into getting a trade in either plumbing or electrician as your dad said. Once you get qualified with either trade you can easily get a job anywhere and if you like traveling or you want to in the future, you won’t have any problems there.

If you’re really not happy with the course, then i would suggest before dropping out have a look and decide what you want to do and then sit down with your mother and father and explain your reasons why. It sounds like you someone else chose the course and not you.

Best of luck; remember it’s your life your living and you don’t have to make decisions to please others just because it makes them happy. What about you?

thebman

Your laziness is probably due to being demotivated because your not really interested in the course your doing.

If your going to every lecture thinking this is really boring then the course probably isn't for you.

We can't really tell you what course would be for you but maybe take a personality test and see what people with similar interests to you do. You can probably find one online somewhere although you need to be wary of accuracy of them. If your looking at the results and going I don't think I'd like that then probably best to trust your instincts and look for a course that will actually interest you.

I think a college education is increasingly neccesary but there is also that push toward education in my family (mother is a teacher). I really enjoyed college though having done a Computer Science course. If computers are your thing and your okay at math then computers might be an option for you.

LundiMardi

To be honest, you're only 18, you're sooo young.. If you decide you don't want to do this course, then leave... but think long and HARD about it. At least try and do the exams and pass, that way you have the summer to think about what to do thereafter and you still have the choice to continue with the course. This is VERY important and should be your main priority. Just think about it and know that this will leave one door open for you which should give you some motivation to pass this year.

A trade is by no means an easy way out, my friend is an electrician in his last year of the apprenticeship, all through it he had to work crazy crazy hours, 12 hour days, 6 days a week non stop, that **** it hard!!!!!!

But think of it this way, a trade is just like a degree.. You work hard, for a set time period and at the end of it you're a qualified whatever. Difference is, you have to pay to go to college, whereas you get paid to be an apprentice(albeit badly for the first couple of years).

thebman

Note that above isn't bad advice but I suggest if your thinking of dropping out that you look into situation with fee's for your college and what conditions on dropping out are in place that will leave you in a position to not have to pay them next year.

My brother dropped out last year from his course and didn't have to pay fees because he dropped out early in the college year and didn't sit Xmas exams.

Stirling

Never an easy decision to make so the best of luck with it

All I want to say is that it's never an easy decision. There are times when I still hate what I'm doing and wonder whether or not I should give up and do something else and thats at the end of a Degree and being halfway through a Masters with at least another four years to go before I'm qualifed.

Thing is that the doubts I had at the start are not all that different from the ones I have now and I think that no matter what you decide to do those doubts will always be there so don't expect to ever feel totally happy with one decision - ultimately you just have to run with something and a lot of that comes down to chance and what you make of your decision.

Black Swan

There are no "easy" ways to go. Life if rough. By increasing your education, you will have more choices in life. Increasing education is also associated with increasing income. I dropped out of university to pursue a career that pays and is what I want to do, but I see myself someday returning to university.

upthere

I'm sure you're guidance counsellor has asked you, so check it out:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1591260205?v=glance

Dors1976

I would speak to your tutor and see if you can defer for a year. Then you could maybe work for that year and that might give you a bit of insight as to what road you want to go down in your life.

I started a degree course after school and the job I'm in now is miles from the qualification I would have recieved had I finished that course. I subsequently went on to do a degree relating to my current job and I loved college.

Best of luck but do talk to the college and your parents and tell them how you feel honesty will be better option - it'll give you a clear head and more confidence in yourself too!