LDR + bitter friends = confused :(

LegacyUser

Hi,

Im not sure where to start. basically im just really confused..
Im in a LDR, have been for about 3 months now. We were only together a week before we were separated. & obviously, its pretty difficult.

The thing is, lately i just feel like my emotions are all over the place. Like 1 day im missing him like crazy & would do anything just to have him hug me. & the next day I could be really unhappy with the relationship & wondering what the hell im doing with him, finding all sorts of things i dislike about him.

When im with him its great. i love this guy. or i do when im with him... but when were apart after a week or two i find myself questioning it. Is this normal? or is it a really really bad sign?

Im also having problems with my group of friends because of it. basically, when i got with this guy it moved the balance in the group of girls so that the girls in relationships outnumbered the girls that were single. now i never had a problem with my friends having bfs, but it seems that theres 2 girls now feeling left behind or something. theyre acting very bitter & occasionally make spiteful remarks. i know theyre just jealous. but im finding it very hard to deal with as when we go out the group seems to have been split into single girls v's non-singles. 1 of the other girls in a relationship even remarked that id "joined their club now". its particularly hard with 1 of them, who is (or was) a very close friend, but now just seems sad a lot & she wont tell me whats wrong. she got very upset one night we were out, apparently because she just feels like she should have a bf by now. but she wouldnt tell me her reasoning, i was told by someone else. shes acting really differently with me. the other girls with bfs know its upsetting me & have told me theyve had to go through the same thing, but i never even noticed that! its getting me down, because i feel like i cant even mention my bfs name, & on the weekends that i DO get to see him, im almost afraid to bring him out with me because of the reaction i might get. its not obvious to everyone, but i just feel so resented over it. & although this might sound like the behaviour of 15 or 16 year olds, we're all 22/23.

i think the friends thing is now affecting how i feel about my relationship. i dont know, im so confused about everything.

If anyone has any suggestions...? i dont know what to think about any of this anymore & its really getting me down.

Black Swan

Two issues? LDR b/f and what friends feel? Well, LDRs can work, if both people care enough for each other to put up with the physical separation, while at the same time doing other things to stay in touch. I've been in an LDR for 10 months, and our solution is playfulness. We play online all the time, and often surprise each other with our creativity. It's really fun!

Now what friends feel about being single or hooked up? I really don't understand the problem. Sure, the singles are sad, but it's up to them to get hooked up. You don't become single just to make them feel OK.

Sleepy

What's wrong with your friends? Why do they feel so bad about being single? You'd swear it was some kind of disease. They're behaving like spoilt children that have just been told Santa can't get them a bike, a doll, some lego, a playstation AND a pony tbh.

LegacyUser

'Thanks for the replies.

Blue_Lagoon wrote:

Two issues? LDR b/f and what friends feel? Well, LDRs can work, if both people care enough for each other to put up with the physical separation, while at the same time doing other things to stay in touch. I've been in an LDR for 10 months, and our solution is playfulness. We play online all the time, and often surprise each other with our creativity. It's really fun!

Now what friends feel about being single or hooked up? I really don't understand the problem. Sure, the singles are sad, but it's up to them to get hooked up. You don't become single just to make them feel OK.

i talk to my bf everyday, either on msn or on the phone or both. staying in touch is not a problem, we're rarely out of touch.

& i dont plan to become single to make them feel ok. but theyre attitude towards it is getting me down & takes some of the enjoyment out of the relationship. i mean everyone knows girls like to talk! but this a whole section of my life (thats becoming increasingly important) that i just cant feel i can even mention around them.

Sleepy wrote:

What's wrong with your friends? Why do they feel so bad about being single? You'd swear it was some kind of disease. They're behaving like spoilt children that have just been told Santa can't get them a bike, a doll, some lego, a playstation AND a pony tbh.

im not sure why they feel so bad about it. but i agree with the spoilt children thing & the longer this goes on the more p*ssed off im getting. they make me feel like i have to choose between my bf & my friends. i have other single friends (not within the same group) & they tell me theyre so happy for me. which just leaves me wondering why the other girls cant be?'

Catari Jaguar

Eugh, women can be such immature bitches. Sometimes I'm ashamed to be in that category... Tell them not to be so jealous and petty and maybe if they didn't look like a bulldog chewing a wasp when they went out they might get approached. No one likes a bad attitude. Seriously though, if they can't be happy for you then don't hang out anymore, they sound like very conditional and fair weather "friends" to me.

About the boyfriend, it COULD be that you blame him for the friend situation and resent him in some roundabout way. But I think it's just the normal highs and lows of love. Producing all those yummy love chemicals when you're with them, and then you crave more. Then they go and you get low and think "pff... I don't really care bout him". Until you hug him again and want to curl up inside him cos your soooo in love and it starts all over again Normal I reckon. it happens to me anyways.