Am I Being Petty

LegacyUser

I kinda think I am being a bit petty about this. Am a little annoyed and not sure if I have right to be. Need some voices of reason!!!

Was supposed to be going out Fri night with some friends of mine (who I dont see very often). Said it to the boyfriend a few weeks ago if he wanted to come (hes met them once or twice). He said shur thats grand.

Anyways, yesterday he tells me that he is off on the p*ss with the boys fri night. Its kind of a reunion thing - for christmas celebrations. I was like "what happened to going out with me?". I left it at that cause I wasnt sure if I was being petty or not.

Hes done it a few times (saying he will go somewhere with me and then change his mind). Am I being petty? Would you expect your partner to ask if its ok to change plans that ye had made? Or would you just go do it, like he did, anyway?

Beruthiel

AmIBeingPetty? wrote:

Was supposed to be going out Fri night with some friends of mine (who I dont see very often).

Well, if you don't see them very often than you will spend the night talking to them. I can well understand your b/f prefering to be with his mates instead of a gooseberry. It's what I would also prefer.
Now, if it was an important evening, say a wedding or whatever, that's different to a degree. But a night out on the town can be changed at a moments notice I would have thought, especially if it's a group and not one or two people.
You're not joined at the hip you know.

LegacyUser

Beruthiel wrote:

Well, if you don't see them very often than you will spend the night talking to them. I can well understand your b/f prefering to be with his mates instead of a gooseberry. It's what I would also prefer.
Now, if it was an important evening, say a wedding or whatever, that's different to a degree. But a night out on the town can be changed at a moments notice I would have thought, especially if it's a group and not one or two people.
You're not joined at the hip you know.

Very true....plus do you really want to be worrying about him all night and wondering whether he's having a good time rather than being able to relax and chat to your mates?!?

Seraphina

i find that very annoying too, mainly because with my bf it happens at the very last minute (like 9pm on the night of whatevers happening)

vorbis

being a bit petty i'd say. You're going out with your mates, there's no real need for him to be there. Why would it be important that he be there?

raido9

Personally I wouldn't mind because I see my girlfriend a lot of the time, and when we go out together with friends we spend the night apart talking to other people for most of the night. Thats possible because she has been out a lot with my friends and knows them well enough at this stage that she could go out with them even if I couldn't.

Saying that I would be a bit annoyed if at the last minute she decided to feck off if we had plans, whereas if she came up to me and said her friends were organising some night out that she'd prefer to go to, I'd have no problem with that. Then your both where ye want to be and so you both have a better night out. Last thing you want to do is force him to come along with you if he doesn't want to or it'll end up ruining both of your night

ferdi

its probably a little petty but tell him he could do with affording you a little more consideration and courtesy, repeatedly bailing on anyone, let alone your gf, isnt cool.

misswex

Yeah I admit I would be a little bit annoyed too, not the fact the fact that his not going but the fact that when you asked him if he wanted to go he said yeah grand and then made other plans. Thats where he is being inconsiderate, all he had to do was say no you go out and have fun with your mates and I'll do the same then there would be no grievance at all.

Black Swan

Saying he will go with you, then backs out at the last minute? Does this repeatedly? Not good.

Lust4Life

Go and have fun and forget about it.
As others have said, he would feel like a 5th wheel anyway -
ESPECIALLY if you make a big deal of it and guilt him into going.

jimmycrackcorm

Somehow I don't think if the roles were reversed that the fella would be getting upset about it.