Ex issues

summerwine

Six moths ago my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me. Needless to say I was pretty gutted for months after this. Meanwhile I was still happy to meet up with the ex. I knew it was partly my fault as I regularly got stressed out and took it out on my ex (wasn’t anything too bad just little niggling things). I also knew that she was going through her own problems but found she wasn’t willing to talk openly or honestly about her issues with me. Although, I realised that she would tell her whole family about her and my problems.

I regularly meet up with her and since we broke up she says she doesn’t want to get back together but I can’t help sensing that she does. She implies that I need training and learn to deal with my stress (which I am) instead of upsetting her. Should I keep seeing her and upsetting myself or should I give it time and maybe go looking for other people? Or am I seeing too much into the scenario? Does it get easier talking to your ex or does it just confuse you not knowing if she just wants to keep in touch to get back together?

I find this all pretty upsetting and uncertain what I should do! If you have taken the time to read this lengthy essay, would love to hear any advise you have.

Ps, I tried to be as unbiased as possible but you are only reading my side of the story! She wouldn’t tell me her side of the story

Heyes

Personally i think meeting her every week is holding you back and making you over think more and more.

Fanny Cradock

summerwine wrote:

Should I keep seeing her and upsetting myself or should I give it time and maybe go looking for other people?

From the situation you describe in your post the answer seem obvious: move on!

CathyMoran

I think that you need to get far more distance from her and move on with your life, it is too soon to be close friends with her again though you will be able to again at some stage in the future.

I made that mistake with an ex, even when I started dating someone else and as a result it took me a lot longer to get over him. We are best friends now and he will always in my life but some distance at first would have helped.

rossious

If after 2 years you guys were not talking openly then there are problems. Thats a lot of time to get to know each other and take your guards down a bit.

It just seems that your not meant to be. Sorry. I have to say I think that you should drift away from her without making a big deal about it, and get some new interests and friends and see who else may catch your eye over time.

Everyone gets stressed and anxious. So long as its not abusive / physical, your partner should be helping you and visa versa. You need professional help if its anything more, but if not, thats life. Life is stressful and everyone feels it.

Black Swan

I made a clean break with my ex and we never talk, cause of the "why" we broke up. This allowed me to move on, perhaps much quicker than you? Maybe less frequent contact would allow you to meet and appreciate others?

summerwine

Thank you all for that advise, will take it on board and have a good think about it. I do think its time to move on and create some distance!

Much appreciated again!

Kell

summerwine wrote:

Six moths ago my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me. Meanwhile I was still happy to meet up with the ex every week and beat myself up a little more

Erm- where the fúck is your self esteem and respect here? Jeebus man, get over yourself and move on. You wouldnt stick a fork in your eye (TM) repeatedly would you? No. Because that would hurt. Yet week after week you walk yourself into a situation that hurts you. :mad:

The answer is simple- move the hell on.

K-