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Trapped?? What to do??

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  • 26-11-2006 4:26pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Story.....

    In a longish relationship by my standards with a girl with history i wont go into here but last night we near split up - mainly been forced on my side...as im not as happy anymore with the way the relationship is going!

    However after breaking up after amany of tears and arguments she stormed off down the street screaming and shouting then saying to me that she was going to kill herself as im the only one in her life etc etc

    Anyway i wouldnt doubt her, as she tried before, before i was with her....anyways i then had to comfort her and after a long discussion we are now back togother... But she wants to stay together 4ever and ever you know the stor, however im staying with her only now to keep her happy...We had many happy times but i just dont feel the urge to keep going out with her...

    But I know i eventually will break her heart so what do i do?? do it now, later...i dunno!! i feel trapped and i know she will bring up the same things such as suicide again if i try...


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    #2
    fifth
    Registered Users Posts: 3,135 ✭✭✭fifth


    Do it now man or forever regret not doing it..

    edit: not trying to be insensitive here.


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    #3
    Rb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    She sounds a little immature tbh.

    She has to know she can't threaten you into staying in the relationship. I'd do it sooner rather than later tbh, the longer it goes on the more it'll hurt at the end.

    Sit her down and explain things and try and leave things on a good note.


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    #4
    Ruu_Old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 36,634 ✭✭✭✭Ruu_Old


    Talk to her when you both aren't at each others throats, its going to be a bit more difficult now that you took her back though. Be straight with her now and get it done with otherwise you are just tormenting yourself.


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    #5
    Black Swan
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,231 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    You said there was no future, so end it. To do otherwise is to string her and you along. You may want to alert family and friends of hers to provide an emotional safety net for after your breakup?


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    #6
    Steyr
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,266 ✭✭✭Steyr


    End it and quicky but before you do id tell her parents of her "intentions" etc oh and i might get a new number when you break up as i personally have had my ex freaking me out when we broke up and she made my life a misery for 2weeks before i found out she was doing it in spite even though she made us break up and what a relief when i got a new number.

    Thats just my experience.


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    #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    'I feel for you, but to be honest you are not with her for the right reasons.

    She has to know this that she has forced you into being with her by threatening to harm herself.

    Her self confidence must be extremely low to know that she is with someone who does not love her or even want to be with her.

    You have to for your own dignity and sanity and in the long run hers, split with her.

    If she threatens to kill herself etc then you have to walk away, you cannot live under a threat. Plus if she is unstable enough to try kill herself, then the problem is hers, its her mental issues not yours.

    You are in no way responsible for what she does due to her feelings, you have a life, a right to be with the person of your choosing.

    This is no way to conduct a relationship, its not loving and will only end up killing off what ever self respect she has left.

    It will be kinder in the long run to leave her and therefore give her a chance to be with someone who will want to be with her for the right reasons.

    You are not responsible for her life and how she wishes to behave, you are responsible for your life only.'


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    #8
    craichoe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,706 ✭✭✭craichoe


    I just saw 'Suicide' and knew the story.......

    Emotional blackmail bull, and shes emotionally damaged goods, get far far away before she does any more damage to you.


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    #9
    tbh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,914 ✭✭✭✭tbh


    you are not responsible for her being happy, and you are for yourself. If you can't make a go of it (nothing wrong with that), then end it. If she goes on about suicide, tell her parents or a good friend of hers - then it becomes their responsibility. Sorry if that sounds clinical - the moment she made the threat to kill herself, all debts were off, IMO.


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    #10
    Homer J Simpson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 172 ✭✭Homer J Simpson


    Thats emotional blackmail. If I were you I'd finish it now. Dont prolong you're unhappiness any further.


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    #11
    spacecoyote
    Registered Users Posts: 8,472 ✭✭✭spacecoyote


    My advise is to call it a day asap. What you wrote was almost exactly what i went throught with a previous girlfriend. After about 2 years i decided i wasn't happy anymore for a multitude of reasons i won't go into. I tried to break up with her but she went absolutely crazy, so i gave in (didn't want to see someone who despite not wanting to go out with her, i did still care for her). I spent a further year with her, which made me more bitter towards her, and every little thing she did started to annoy me. As a result of this we broke up a year later in an even messier way. If you're not happy you have to leave, no matter how much it seems she is in agony, it'll be better for both of you in the long run


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    #12
    c - 13
    Registered Users Posts: 5,584 ✭✭✭c - 13


    Stick to your guns and get out OP.

    I was in exactly the same situation before, she took an overdose of painkillers after I dumped her. I went up to her house made her drink a shot of cooking oil to make her get sick, called her mother and waited with her till her mother came. Explained what happened and then left, let her mother take her to the hospital.

    Wouldnt wish that situation on anyone.


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