Psychosexual therapist

Linssca

Hi,

Not looking for medical advise, just wondering if anyone has the same problem. Myself and my boyfriend have been together 3 years!! We were having problems having sex, so we left it for awhile, but the problem still persists! We just cant have sex properly! It hurts me too much! i went to a doc about it and she advised that i need to see a psychosexual therapist!!! Bit nervous! Havent a clue what to expect!!

Umaro

You should probably just see a normal sex therapist.. a psycho might be a bit.. I dunno. Psycho?

Esel

Presume your doctor said a 'psychosexual therapist'.

Victor

Behave!

biko

Linssca wrote:

We just cant have sex properly! It hurts me too much! i went to a doc about it and she advised that i need to see a psychosexual therapist!!!

Reading between the exclamation marks here but there seem to be a physical issue rather the psychological?

Well, it seems to start with a friendly chat so shouldn't be anything to worry about. The therapist is a professional so they should be able to handle this.

Did some googling http://www.mrcs.ie/SexTherapy.html & http://www.relatenorthkent.org.uk/psychosexual-therapy.html

Good luck

Esel

biko wrote:

Reading between the exclamation marks here but there seem to be a physical issue rather the psychological?

biko: Google 'psychosomatic'.

Linssca: Just for extra info, google 'vaginismus'.

Talliesin

A psychosexual therapist is just a therapist who specialises in psychosexual (that is the point at which psychology and sex meets) matters, or at least has that as one of his or her specialities.

No need for all the exclamation marks, it's probably just the ticket for your issues.

LegacyUser

'Hi Linssca
There's no reason to be put off by going to a Psycho sexual counsellor. Its much less daunting than it sounds. I had the same problem as yourself some years back where I desperately wanted to have sex but it was so painful, difficult etc. that really felt I would never be able to have sex. When I was younger I thought that I would just get over it, that it was just normal first time nerves and that those nerves had been exacerbated by unsympathetic partners.
However it became clear that it was way more than nerves. I decided to go to a Well Woman centre to talk to a gp. She was extremely sympathetic and reassuring and referred me to their centre's specialist on psycho sexual issues including vaginismus. It was nerve wracking for the first session with teh counsellor but she was amazing, really warm, comforting and motivational. Her sessions included some physical work too which might sound wierd but it was totally fine and really helpful. I did not need to go to a huge amount of sessions with her but the confidence those sessions gave me as well as some handy tools(!! - you'll see what I mean), a very understanding boyfriend and lots of practice has resulted in me enjoying a very active exciting sex life today! It may seem like a lot of effort but it is so worth it. You should make an appointment as soon as possible. Even if you don't feel its for you, you can back down but at least you'll be making a step in the right direction. If you're in Dublin, the Well Woman Centre on Pembroke Road is the place I went and would highly recommend.
Best of luck!'

LegacyUser

'Hi guys, unfortunately i suffer from the same thing as ye are describing here. I didn't know it was this common, to be honest i just thought it was only me who had the problem. I never had a bad sexual experience or anything, its just that it is very sore down there when me and my bf start to have sex. Its good to know that there is a cure for it, but isn't going to a therapist a bit drastic? I just thought it would go away after we have sex enough times, even though we have tried alot of times over a long time and its still the same. I didnt even know there was a name for this sort of thing (how do you pronounce it? vagin-ismus, or vaginis-mus). Id love to hear more people advice on this, preferably from people who have suffered this problem. Does anybody know where i could go and get this sorted in the cork city area?

Thanks '

trilo

A lot of women have this problem with sex.

Have you asked yourself why you are feeling pain during intercourse, honestly why?
Is the cause from a physical or emotional source or even a mixture of both.

If you think it maybe something physical, due to disability, medication or illness etc. which you may have out ruled since you went to the doctor about it...

Or emotional/psychological... are you turned on, letting yourself go with it? Is there any emotional underlying cause for the pain during intercourse, such as past negative experiences? Or even relationship difficulties.

Or they can be a mixture of both elements.

A psycho sexual therapist will help/enable you to find the root cause of the problem. They would discuss with you and if you wish your partner they issues surrounding the problem. They would develop a plan for you and your partner to do in your own time. Generally these exercises aim to help you with your self-awareness, sexual knowledge and your sexual skills
At the same time, they will help to persuade your body to respond to sensual and sexual stimulation and overcome your specific problem.


My advice to you would be to try and become aware honestly of your own feelings around this issue, include your partner in this as well.

And try some lubricant to make it that little bit easier if your finding yourself too dry.