Does anyone else remember their first proper relationship?

isthisnormal327

Does anyone else remember their first proper relationship?
I dated a girl for about two years five years ago now and nothing since then has been half as intense.
Met a few women since, lovely women but no one has really 'got' me in the same...and nothing has been so exciting.
Me and the first love broke up because both of us were in university at different places, and she wanted to be young free and single..
It was fair enough and If I'm honest I had a lot of fun after we split.
All contact was completely cut and I have only seen her twice since, and each time the conversation was just plain awkward, but polite.
Anyhow lately I've been thinking about that time and all that happened, and although it was a mental relationship it was great.
Fast forward to today and I'm sick (yes, and I'm only in mid twenties!) of the pub scene and meeting some rather rude/psycho women when I'm out and about.
To be honest in my young age I've become cynical and of the opinion that there are few 'normal' women about.
Anyway I know myself and the first love is well and truly in the past and we'll never be together again but lately I've been thinking about her, and the time and I've realised that there hasn't been anything close to that since.
I know everything looks rosey when you look back but does anyone else sometimes just drift away?..or am I stark raving mad!
I know it's likely that I'll be married etc myself in a few years and I'll live happily ever after but in the meantime..well I seem to be have to go through a lot of fairly mad females...
ah..anyway rant over folks..(And yes reading the post, it probably just is me!)

Ruu_Old

Are you sure you aren't comparing (without knowing perhaps) every relationship you have had to that of your first love? Your first will always be hard to forget, just the way it is.

joker77

Don't worry, you're not mad at all.
I was in a relationship between 18-22, to the point of living together. She was 2 years younger, so 16-20 for her. Both a bit young you might say for such a serious relationship, both virgins going into it. Split up really because we both felt we were missing out on the young single life, which I suppose we were but we loved each other madly at the time. Was an amicable enough split, but when she got straight into another relationship 2 months later, which turned into a long term one, that hurt.

I'm 29 now, and with my current girlfriend 2+ years.

It took a long time to get over the first long term relationship, and yes, also had to go through a fair few crazies on the way!!

Victor

The first time is always a big thing.

littlesurfer

the first time is always the hardest to ge over. Its just more intense and crazy because its completely new to you. Anything after that is not exactly a shock!

But eventually you'll find someone who'll match it!

letterman

You never forget the first time round. For me it was 6 months nearly 20 years ago, and songs and images still bring it all back. Hello Fiona where ever you are now!!!!!

dvega

I just finished with my 1st love a few months ago and im 26!!Yes the first
proper relationship you have is hard to get over and you'll never forget it.

Have you ever thought of contacting her again of course its awkward when you meet and dont know what to say but even next time you meet be prepared for what to say,you'll never know unless you try..

If your sick of meeting people in pubs and clubs why not try the internet,
theres plenty of sites out there where you can chat to different people
and maybe you'll find someone with the same interests you have!

Marksie

You never forget the first love. But sometimes you look back at it with rose tinted glasses.

It was special and shouldn;'t be forgotten, just dont let it dominate whare you are going, cos noone got enywhere forwards by looking back

Letterman ..nice, mine was 24 years ago and for 2 years..hi shirley

Wishbone Ash

letterman wrote:

You never forget the first time round. For me it was 6 months nearly 20 years ago, and songs and images still bring it all back.

Yup - 20 years ago for me too! and when I hear any of the songs of 1986 I immediately think of her.

calex71

the first always sets the standard, mine set the bar very high too,
unless you look at this with some perspective your always gonna
feel like your ending up with 2nd best.

letterman

Wishbone Ash wrote:

Yup - 20 years ago for me too! and when I hear any of the songs of 1986 I immediately think of her.

Sounds like enough ammunition to start up another thread " love affairs of 1986...."

Red Alert

i remember my first proper relationship pretty well too. i think like anything you'll remember the first more so than any other. it was certainly the most intense one i've ever had. biggest regret was not staying in touch when we split up, because she wanted to stay friends, whereas i stupidly at the time wanted to forget the whole thing.

Black Swan

isthisnormal327 wrote:

Does anyone else remember their first proper relationship?
I dated a girl for about two years five years ago now and nothing since then has been half as intense.

Now are we talking "proper" or "intense"? I would assume that by proper you mean the fairytale version (boy meets girl, they date, then fall in love, marry, and maybe live happily ever after)? Never had a proper relationship, but I sure have had an intense one!

OP you aren't the only one feeling this way
I worry I've become to cynical too after about 8 month's of dating!

Grem

I was completely besotted by my first boyfriend who i was with for 2+ years. But then again ive been the same about the two that followed. When i fall for someone i fall deep. Cant get them out of my head and do be just mad about them!

Sleepy

I've all but forgotten my first 'proper' relationship but there have been one's since I've found very difficult to stop thinking about. It's difficult to not place someone you had a good relationship with on something of a pedastal in your mind for the exact same reason you remember the weather as being better in your childhood: we remember the good times far more than the bad.

CathyMoran

My first love was just over 9 years ago, just before I met my fiancee and I have never forgotten him and will always love him but now he is one of my best friends instead, it did take me years to get over him though, luckily I have a very patient and loyal fiancee who waited. The intensity of that time will never be forgotten though and it took me some time to realise what real love is. My fiancee is home, my place of safety and I adore him - I love you Smccarrick!

Mrs_Doyle

Ah the first time will always seem more 'intense', mainly because you were much younger at the time, and nothing to compare it to.

When I was 16 I honestly thought I was in love with this guy - almost to the point of obsession.
I thought, "No one has ever felt as in love as I feel right now", and I believed it.
I was infatuated with the guy, and he wasn't even my boyfriend.
Christ, looking back, if I could do things differently, I wouldn't even give him the time of day.

A friend of mine actually proposed to their girlfriend, when they were only 16.
He was 100% convinced that this was it, he had found the woman he was going to be with forever.
Needless to say, they are not together anymore, and have both moved on.

But, and to stray slightly, its not just our relationships that seem more intense when we are younger.... it is everything.
Our rows with our parents seem like huge traumatic events.
The bands we liked... well, we didn't just like them, we loved them, we were their no 1 fans and had all their singles, all their posters and knew the lyrics to everyone of their songs.
When we got into trouble at school, we thought the world would end when our parents found out.
When we fell out with our best friends we either cried our eyes out or swore to hate them for all eternity.

Basically, what I am saying is, when we were younger, our every movement was heightened, out every relationship seemed so much more intense and all consuming.
We were experiencing everything for the first time, so in a sense, they were all momentous occasions.
BUT... You really shouldn't compare your current relationship, or experiences, to the ones you had first time around... because there really is no comparison.