Internet Date

Poco Loco

Hi!

Just a quick one. Have been finding it hard (actually impossible!) to meet decent guys in clubs. So decided to try out a dating website. Have a date tomorrow night. The guy seems nice, we get on ok - hard to tell in email/text. I'm really nervous about it though! Any tips?

Thanks!

LundiMardi

How long have you been emailing/texting? Have you ever actually spoken? If not, i'd find that weird, i couldn't meet someone if i've never even heard their voice!!

Just be sure to meet in public and no matter how nice he seems, just to stay in publin, ya never know!:)

Oh, and there are other ways to meet people rather than clubs, which are probably the worst places to meet people!!

Poco Loco

We've been in touch for a few weeks and this is going to be a very casual thing - a "date" is probably a bad way to describe it! Just meeting for a pint to chat properly. Yeah it is weird - I find it contrived and the backwards way to do things but I feel like I dont have any other choice right now. I'm not desperate or anything - I am just tired of being alone and figured it was worth a shot...

Not being smart - what ways are there to meet people? I would like to!! :rolleyes:

zeusnero

Poco Loco wrote:

Have been finding it hard (actually impossible!) to meet decent guys in clubs.

Poco Loco wrote:

Have been finding it hard (actually impossible!) to meet decent guys in clubs...


Reason being in my experience is that (and I know I'm generalising here) most decent guys tend to avoid clubs - they're becomming more and more like meat markets... Guys that go to clubs often have 1 aim and it's not a relationship...

On a positive note, it is relatively easy to meet nice guys, you just need to know where to look. I cannot emphasise enough how great clubs / societies etc are to meet people. Sharing a common interest is a great foundation for friendships and often more. Find something that you're passionate about, be it sports, cooking, yoga etc and be active in it. I for example am interested in badminton and it's a really great way to meet 'nice' women...

Just my 2c.

Marksie

Poco Loco wrote:

We've been in touch for a few weeks and this is going to be a very casual thing - a "date" is probably a bad way to describe it! Just meeting for a pint to chat properly. Yeah it is weird - I find it contrived and the backwards way to do things but I feel like I dont have any other choice right now. I'm not desperate or anything - I am just tired of being alone and figured it was worth a shot...

Not being smart - what ways are there to meet people? I would like to!! :rolleyes:

I think many of these internet dating sites have social groups attached... that may be one way.
Boards beers is another .

You are doing things right for the date btw....
just relax and enjoy it..

Motley Crue

Poco Loco wrote:

Hi!

Just a quick one. Have been finding it hard (actually impossible!) to meet decent guys in clubs. So decided to try out a dating website. Have a date tomorrow night. The guy seems nice, we get on ok - hard to tell in email/text. I'm really nervous about it though! Any tips?

Thanks!

All I can say is goodluck. I did this twice before the girls turned out to be lovely and pleasant. Im still with the last girl I met, and its going on two years now, so I truly believe that there is hope in this kind of dating and I was in an identical position to yourself.

JungleBunny

Go for it. Like all that other posters say, meet somewhere public.
Hope it goes well for you. Met my b/f on the net too. Just moved in together and things are amazing!!
Wish you all the best xx

Blackpitts

Poco Loco wrote:

Hi!

Just a quick one. Have been finding it hard (actually impossible!) to meet decent guys in clubs. So decided to try out a dating website. Have a date tomorrow night. The guy seems nice, we get on ok - hard to tell in email/text. I'm really nervous about it though! Any tips?

Thanks!

Hi, which is the website you look into?
I'm kinda tired of clubbing, and I want to give to the internet dating a go.

cheers

Beruthiel

Blackpitts wrote:

Hi, which is the website you look into?
I'm kinda tired of clubbing, and I want to give to the internet dating a go.

cheers

If you wish to know the answer to that then drop Poco a PM, we are not here to advertise dating sites.

Blackpitts

Beruthiel wrote:

If you wish to know the answer to that then drop Poco a PM, we are not here to advertise dating sites.

sorry ...

muppetkiller

I've also got my first date with someone I met online about 2-3 weeks ago this Saturday. We've been on the phone for days now and have the funniest chats...Can't wait to meet her..
I was very dodge about the internet dating thing but if this is a sign of things to come I'll never look for a girl in a club again
Good luck with it...

ARGINITE

Have done it myself and have found that while its a little weird at first but after the first one it grand.

I'll never look for a girl in a club again

I think its impossible to find a women in a club, pub maybe but not a club.

King of Kings

zeusnero wrote:

Poco Loco wrote:

Have been finding it hard (actually impossible!) to meet decent guys in clubs...


Reason being in my experience is that (and I know I'm generalising here) most decent guys tend to avoid clubs - they're becomming more and more like meat markets... Guys that go to clubs often have 1 aim and it's not a relationship...

Just my 2c.

i must shoot down that kak once and for all.
i'm a nice, decent guy. I frequent clubs as do my friends...
If i do not meet a nice girl at said club I will indulge in the meat market facilities available but primarily a good laugh with a nice girl and her number at the end of the night is a higher priority than a leg over - if i can do both then magic!!!. I find most guys do agree with me.

Black Swan

A pub meet for a first time can work. Sip and keep it to one drink. If you like each other, then set another date in a public place, but not a pub or club. Booze distorts everything. Lunch? Dinner and a movie? The usual dating routine. Oh, you can meet someone nice on the Internet, just like any other social place, so don't listen to the spoil sports. We have entered the 21st Century, and besides, there's nothing ensured about the pub/club scene, cause you would have to kiss a lot of frogs there too, before you found a prince.

Ruu_Old

Nothing really to add what has been said about meeting in public, have your phone with you and have a friend to contact that you know will be available. Do let us know how you get on, if you want to. Have fun and hope it works out.

gandalf

Go for it, internet dating is a great way to meet people. Just be careful about where you meet first time, somewhere public. Make sure you let a friend know what you are up to and get them to call you at a predetermined time and have a code setup if you need to get away.

Make sure you do not give too many contact details in case the other person turns out to be slightly unhinged.

Someone mentioned that some the dating site have social groups, on one I was on they met up for meals on a regular basis so people would sign up and go along to the meal, have a chat in a relaxed atmosphere and if you were interested you could drop a line later without having to go through that blind date scenario.

MojoMaker

King of Kings wrote:

i must shoot down that (what I consider to be) kak once and for all.
i'm a nice, decent guy (in my own opinion). I frequent clubs as do my friends...
If i do not meet a nice girl at said club I will indulge in the meat market facilities available(???) but primarily a good laugh with a nice girl and her number at the end of the night is a higher priority than a leg over - if i can do both then magic!!!. I find most guys (my age) do agree with me.

:rolleyes:

LegacyUser

'Eight or so years ago in my early thirties my love life was zero so I decided to hit the net, nothing ventured,nothing gained and nothing to lose!. Strangely enough the first girl I got in contact with was from Sweden and we met up three times over a couple of years. Nothing came of it but it was a great experience.
After that I met several girls on various free websites (matchmaker.com mainly) and had some great experiences. I'm now happily married to a girl I met on the net and can recommend the experience to anyone who is considering using the net to meet someone.'

Beruthiel

MojoMaker wrote:

:rolleyes:

Mojo
You've been posting in here long enough to know better

Phenobarbidoll

I don't think clubs are a great place to meet people. The music is too loud to have a conversation (don't I sound old!), everyone is generally intoxicated and 2am panic sets in at midnight on a regular basis.

Hit up your friends. Seriously. Nearly everyone I know who has a significant other met them as a "friend of a friend".
Internet groups or games with RL meetups are good as well, like Boards beer or World of Warcrack, as if the person turns out to be...not entirely clicking with you, at least you're not in a pub with them on your own for the night and talking
about the weather.

It's virtually impossible to tell what someone is like over text/email. 70% of what we say is body language, not actual words. Accounts in part for the massive number of flame wars on various mailling lists on a daily basis

DeadParrot

I always thought that those sites were just a money grabbing exercise.
Know a bloke who signed up and got emails every day from "saucyminx"/"gagging4it" type names with saucy pics. He joined, no such members

Black Swan

OP: I would not be discouraged by the precautions suggested by prior posters. They are essentially the ones you should use when meeting someone in a pub/club for the first time, too: Have your mobile handy, letting a friend know if you leave, staying in public places until you get to know the person.

Poco Loco

Hey,

Thanks a million everyone for the tips! Gosh I didnt expect anyone to have anything much to say about it! Ok well the date is tonight and I dont want to go now - I'm too nervous!! But I will. What have I got to lose?

My housemate knows what's going on - I've given him her number and told her I will call if there is a problem. Poor guy - I hope he doesn't realise I'm expecting him to be an axe-weilding maniac!

Will let you know how I go - and thanks again.

LundiMardi

Good luck.

Manic Moran

Have fun. I met my wife on teh Intarweb. (Not a dating site, but similar principles apply).

NTM

Esel

Poco Loco wrote:

My housemate knows what's going on - I've given him her number and told her I will call if there is a problem. Poor guy - I hope he doesn't realise I'm expecting him to be an axe-weilding maniac!

Am I getting this straight - you gave your housemate's number to a guy you think may be an axe-wielding maniac?

How did the date go anyway? Much blood?

gandalf

Manic Moran wrote:

Have fun. I met my wife on teh Intarweb. (Not a dating site, but similar principles apply).

NTM

Hey you were warned about the mail order bride sites

One good thing is the stigma about internet dating sites that was around 3-4 years ago seems to be gone. People now see it as another form of communication whereas back then you were seen as weird. I remember going out with a couple of women back then and us making up stories about how we met instead of being honest with people.

I hope your date went well Poco and he turned out to be a Gentleman.

Drift

Would love to know how it turned out Poco, that is if you feel like telling us.

Poco Loco

Hi everyone!

Ok you all seem to want to know how it went so here goes! It was ok. He wasn't an axe wielding manaic, which is always nice But not my cup of tea really. Nice guy, seemed genuine, and seemed to really like me. But for me there was no spark.

Which leads to my next problem! (Are you allowed to put another related problem on a thread!?) I think he is nice but I really didnt think we had much in common. The problem is, I am easy enough to get on with and I am chatty and I get the impression he really likes me - he is keen to meet up again and keeps saying what a great night he had! But I don't want to!

He is a lovely guy, I dont want to hurt his feelings. But I have no interest.
Any advice?!

PS - Thanks again for all the tips.

Ruu_Old

Unfortunately you might just have to tell him, simple (or not so simple sometimes) as that. You can be gentle though, since he was nice to you then you owe it to him to be truthful and I'm sure he will understand. Remember you might not be able to tell everything about him or what you think of him, from the first meeting. Glad you still had a good experience with the whole thing though (apart from not clicking with the chap).

Black Swan

Be honest. Don't string him on. Thank him, but tell him that something was missing for you, then move on.

Rb

Blue_Lagoon wrote:

Be honest. Don't string him on. Thank him, but tell him that something was missing for you, then move on.

I agree, quick and relatively painless.

I have had a great relationship with someone i meet on a dating site....unfortunately i also meet someone who was already involved in a committed relationship it was months before i found out he was able to hid it because she lived in the US...he is still on the same dating site and still involved with the other relationship.....i still think it a great way to meet someone as long as your careful

Drift

All you can do is tell him truthfully. He deserves that.

Although like Ruu said, sometimes it may take 2 dates to see if he really is a nice guy, he could have been really nervous and not matched up to his personality online.

Either way. Tell him the truth, its the best for everyone.