Advice please on saving+not going out!

LegacyUser

My boyfriend is a little bit depressed at the moment and sort of stuck in a financial rut, and now is possibly facing getting evicted because he has rent in late.

Anyway, he wants me to help him get back on track, I was thinking when he gets the rent he owes in order etc. he'll need a sort of budget so he doesn't get in this situation again.

The main reason he was short of money for rent was because he changed jobs recently, the new job hasn't been very forthcoming with wages, it's a new business and his boss is promising him his wages soon so that should help with the overdue rent. Another reason is because my boyfriend likes to go out a lot, (and so do I and so do his friends), and it is hard to stay in when all your friends are enjoying themselves out. He shares a flat with his best friend and the flat is considered a "party flat" and a lot of the time, we will all go there and drink before going out so it would be tough to be in that enviroment and not go out.

Some of the things he spends his money on is:
Rent (550 per month)
Food (usually take away- so quite expensive compared to homecooked)
Going out; drink, more takeout, gig tickets

I know he has his priorities all in the wrong order because they are as it stands:
1. Going out enjoying self.
2. Eating properly or at all/ Rent.

I'm going to cook him dinner maybe twice a week and show him how to cook his own food so he will be eating properly at least a few times a week and also to save some money (because some days if he has no money, he can't buy any food and when he does, he'll eat one thing a day, something big but just once- i know this is such a bad way to live!!)

So does anyone have any suggestions for budgeting and how to not go out?!
And good ways to save and keep positive about having little money?
I want to be as helpful as I can to him.

So to summarize, cos that's a really long post sorry!
Do you have suggestions of:
1. How to budget, any good savings accounts?
2. How to stay home and not go out all the time and fun cheap things to do?
3. How to feel positive while your friends and roomate are drinking+going out around you?

Thanks, all advice welcome! Hope this post makes sense!

Black Swan

Whoa, he is going to let you organise his life? That's a big order, indeed, but if he will without a fuss, then perhaps the moment he gets his paycheck:

1. Set aside monies for fixed expenses (rent, average utilities, car payments, etc.).
2. Set aside monies for variable costs (food, clothing, etc.)
3. Set aside contingency (for the unexpected, like medical expenses, etc.)
4. Set aside monies for the future (savings and investments).
5. Now, if there is anything left, that's called discretionary (and he may blow it going out drinking, partying, and throwing house parties).

This would require a change in his priorities, cause having a good time is first priority from the way your described it. Good luck, cause I think you will need it to pull this off!

biko

1. Automatically money directly to a separate no-access-card account that pays rent by direct debit. You should then hopefully use less money for bad things.
2. Well, you can still have cans and party at home, just do not go out. Should save a bundle even if you are drinking.
3. Let me know how you get on with this one

Ruu_Old

Mark it all down on paper, put a certain amount aside for spending on going out and plan in advance on how much each month you are going to need to save some money. Seperating accounts is a good idea and having one account that has a laser or ATM card is enough so you won't be tempted to raid the other accounts. When shopping, another tip is to buy the generic brands of food, you'd be amazed how much you save when you buy a lot of it.

Gordon

Your boyfriend isn't in a financial rut at all. His problem is that his priorities are all wrong as you have said.

Firstly, sharing a flat at 1100 per month - isn't that expensive? His rent should, imo, be his first priority so he has to set 550 euros aside and not touch it when he receives his pay cheque. End of story. Look at the money but don't touch it.

Secondly - he shouldn't be buying takeout. Not until he understands where his money is going and if he can afford it.

OP - go to the Food and drink forum and get some advice on cheap meals for a person that doesn't cook. Pasta is easy, I'm sure he can manage that.

If he is buying tickets for live bands and not making his rent then he deserves to be kicked out of his flat, that's not cool.

It's difficult to not go out when all your mates are going out, especially in Ireland where there it is such a pub-oriented social life. He just has to get some willpower and not do it, it's easy to say but he simply has to do it. Instead - why not get him to host parties once a week if it's a cool flat? People will generally bring their own drink and you can keep the party going late as long as people aren't too loud and the neighbours are ok with it.

DublinEvents

He shouldn't be partying at all. Wasting money isn't a good thing. What if he loses his job and can't find a new one? He will have to resort to begging. And trust me, none of those party friends will give him a helping hand. They might throw him morsels but don't even count on that. Those very same "friends" might call security and throw him out of the building. Talk to him seriously about this. He needs to save money. Life is cruel as it is. There is no need for him to create more problems for himself.

Conar

DublinEvents wrote:

He shouldn't be partying at all. Wasting money isn't a good thing. What if he loses his job and can't find a new one? He will have to resort to begging. And trust me, none of those party friends will give him a helping hand. They might throw him morsels but don't even count on that. Those very same "friends" might call security and throw him out of the building. Talk to him seriously about this. He needs to save money. Life is cruel as it is. There is no need for him to create more problems for himself.

Seems a little OTT.
Just tell the guy to give you all the money for one month and you give it back to him for rent etc.
I reckon that once he sees how often he is asking you for money he'll realise where its all going and see sense.

craichoe

Tell him to move to cheaper accomodation, 550 a month sharing is ridiculous. I pay that and i have a 1 bedroom apartment (Kitchen, living room, bathroom (yes with a bath) and double bedroom.

If he likes going out, invite some friends over before you go out, i.e. BYOB. He must be slap bang in the center for 550 a month sharing.

Get him to go through all his JUNK and anything he doesn't use sell it on eBay or BuyandSell.

Go shopping with him in LIDL or ALDI, the food is decent for the most, infact alot is better than Tesco, you make pretty hefty savings this way. Get him eating Pasta, Rice etc.

Example - Pasta Pesto is really easy to make, and nice.

Bag of baby potatoes, some broccoli maybe with chicken kiev, get him in the habit of planning his food for the next seven days.

Big one here if he hasn't done it, claim rent relief, i was due back 1800 euros in rent relief, You just stick in the forms and get a cheque in the post in a few weeks.

http://www.oasis.gov.ie/housing/renting_a_flat_or_house/tax_relief_for_tenants.html

Cheers.

Overheal

Im just a lowly Fresher student; but I've found some interesting things that are stopping me from spending (as much as I'd love to buy stuff):

1. Work - I work at a Nightclub during the week while everyone else is out making complete tits of themselves. Don't mind it really, because I still go out during the week sometimes. Also, making Mininimum wage usually stops your spending dead in its tracks anyway

2. Off Liscence - All hail the off-liscence; everyone lives near one, and its nearly as convenient as a pub (and quite a bit cheaper). Tap back to YOUR college roots and remember when you were buying 1 euro cans of imported sh*te..most of which isn't half bad. Going to the nightclub? Buy a nagon! But if your boss finds out, your pretty f*ked.

3.Tesco! Aldi! Lidl! Genius.... I end up buying my foods on payday, so that Im sorted for the week: anything (IF anything) left over is for me always get your mandatories done on PayDay.

well those are my own big 3. Your b/f might also still be under the Psychosis that when he sees more than 1000 euros in the bank on PayDay, that he gets a little drool-faced (I know I sure as hell would...stupid friends with their stupid doctor-parents!) I reccomend setting up two or more multiple accounts which are used to handle different expenses: he should only have laser-cards and all the addition to one single account (his personal spending a/c) the rest needs to go into a no bull**** account for rent and the rest.

legs11

can you claim tax releif if you are in employment?

Saint_Mel

Try to get him to take up a hobby or play sports as that can act as a deterrent to going out all time.

A good hour's footy on the astroturf etc might leave him to knackered to
go out, plus keeping fit might help avoid so much going out, boozing,
takeaways etc. Same with any other sport ... well, apart from darts ...
like the old commentry years ago ... "Jockey Wilson ... What an athlete"

Find alternative ways of going out and doing stuff that doesn't involve
a night out on the p!ss. Cinema, comedy club etc.

Get an evening job if possible, even if its only a few hours a week its
extra money coming in.

Do a cheap night course. might cost a bit but will save on going out and
also give a new skill in return

As someone else said, claim rent allowance, think its about €600 back per year on your tax free allowance. Bin tag allowance is claimable and so on ...

However, in my humble opinion, if he's struggling to pay rent or have money for food but yet can go out boozing and buy concert tickets etc then I'm afraid he's a twat and needs to get some cop on instead of getting depressed and looking to others to get him out of the rut.

Gordon

legs11 wrote:

can you claim tax releif if you are in employment?

Yes.

Rent relief is a way of the Government to check up on landlords afaiu, if you claim rent relief you are forcing the landlord to claim that he is a landlord, and the Government want that.

greenkittie

I feel for your boyfriend. He sounds like me (ashamed about that). What i did to help myself was bought World of Warcraft, the subscription is only a few euro a month and it give you something addictive to do when everyone else is partying. It's obviously not as good as going out with your friends but whatever he does hes going to have to make that sacrafice anyway.

Húrin

You don't need to spend much to party. Just buy alcohol from off-licences, not bars; use a bike instead of taking taxis.

LegacyUser

'Thanks for all your replies!

First off, yes he is a twat but I love him and want to help him.

Some things I didn't mention, he gets cash in hand as he works as a bartender in a pub so he works nights. When you get cash in hand it's very hard to not spend it, particularly if you get paid then are going somewhere.
It is going out after work also.
He doesn't have a bank account but I think he should definetly open one if not two from what you are all saying!

The money he is getting is improving slightly, it's just at the moment he is getting only about 100 euro a week when he should be getting a LOT more, the new boss isn't very forthcoming with wages.

For his 550 per month, he lives close to town, it's a very nice apartment and they have huge sitting room/kitchen, bathroom(yes with bath!) and a roof garden and two bedrooms. He's not going to move somewhere else because he likes where he lives, Dublin is expensive to rent in, simple as, especially with a good location.

He does have parties or sessions before going out in the flat but then they usually all go out so erm not much money saved there.

Re: rent allowance, you need to be making very little money to get that if you are employed. We tried to get that already.

I think he knows he has a very hedonistic lifestyle and needs to get out of that and cop on tbh, he needs to be more humble I think, but that will just take some time to get used to.
He's not asking me to run his life but he just doesn't know where to start, he had to leave home while he was still quite young because of family reasons and really wasn't ready.

Anyway thanks for all the advice, very helpful!'

Saint_Mel

no_money1 wrote:

He doesn't have a bank account but I think he should definetly open one if not two from what you are all saying!

Are you dating Bertie Aherne?????

no_money1 wrote:

Re: rent allowance, you need to be making very little money to get that if you are employed. We tried to get that already.

Not the dole rent allowance.
If he's paying tax in his job and is living in rented accommodation he is
entitled to claim rent allowance back in tax credits

subway

100 a week eqauls 400 a month which does not equal rent at 550 a month
if hes not paying rent or eating and just going out then i guess he would be spending 60 or 70 a night
thats 5 or 6 nights out a month

he needs to cop on and get his wages sorted out.
if hes going out 5 nights a month then theres no problem.

unless theres the other problem,
where he is actually getting ALL his wages, spending it on something white and powdery and giving you the BS story about the boss not paying the wages...

Gordon

Eh.. what subway said about wages. How on earth is he even contemplating living in a 550 per month apartment on 100 per week. In fact it is impossible to live anywhere but your parent's place on that wage. He must be getting help to survive surely. Also, 100 per week doing barwork? That's way too little, is he only working 3 times a week or something?

Also, what Saint_Mel said about rent allowance - check again, it's not the dole we're talking about.

LegacyUser

Where do I start.

Been in your situation before. I was going to ask what age he is until I realised that anyone at any age can be bad with money. The thing is that if he is young now, he still has time to learn.

Please, what ever you do, dont give him money to cover him. I did this for my boyfriend and it made the situation worse because:

1. It enabled him further to live out side his means
2. I felt like an ATM. My self esteem was not good. Did he like me or my money.
3. Good intentions are just what they are, intentions. If you give someone money, they may see it more as a novelty to pay you back (seeing as you are their partner) and might cause a bone of contention.

Did he ask for your help. I dont mean the money kind, but more of a long term plan, or are you suggesting that "you" help him?

One day when my bf asked me for money, I just said "no". I am not his mammy and it is not my job to sort out his life. I can help but not do it for him.

blue banana

The figures are definetly not adding up there.

Craichoe mentioned rent relief (not rent allowance) Although this is only of use if he is paying tax on his income, you say he gets cash in hand.

If he is only earning €100 euro a week I'm sure he would be entitled to Rent Allowance as single people on social welfare receives more than this and they are entitled to rent allowance AFAIK.

LegacyUser

'He should be earning 10 euro an hour so his boss owes him a good bit of money, it was just for the last few weeks that he was getting 100 euro for some reason, maybe just a few shifts because the place had just opened. He's going to sort it out with his boss. That's why he is living in this accomodation because he once was making suffiencient money and the new job promised the same if not slightly better pay.

He's not doing drugs, he wouldn't lie to me about money because he's not supporting me so he has no financial ties to me.

Someone asked his age: he's just 23, I'm 19.

Yes he was paying taxes in his old job, but still got cash in hand, (that happens in lots of places even Spar and the like) not too sure about the new job, it's a new place so pretty sure he's getting taxed.

We are going to sit down and talk about it this weekend, I'll mention the rent relief, and yes he did ask me to help him, but he's never asked me for money and I've never given him any. I'll buy him food sometimes but that's it.

Thanks again for all the help!'

The Sweeper

no_money2 wrote:

'He should be earning 10 euro an hour so his boss owes him a good bit of money, it was just for the last few weeks that he was getting 100 euro for some reason, maybe just a few shifts because the place had just opened. He's going to sort it out with his boss. That's why he is living in this accomodation because he once was making suffiencient money and the new job promised the same if not slightly better pay.

Ack...

Bluntly, tell him to get a proper job where he's on the books.

Cash in hand is a pointless waste of time unless it's a short-term job over a summer when you're about 16 years old.

For starters, there's not much he can do about the fact that he 'should be getting €10 an hour'. He's got no contract, no pay slip, no job in the eyes of the state - so he hasn't got a leg to stand on. Plus he's probably not insured so here's hoping he doesn't hurt himself lugging kegs about or anything.

He may find it difficult to open a bank account with no real job. Plus your earnings can be traced through a bank account, so unless he's putting money aside to pay his taxes - well, why do you think most cash-in-hand workers operate their finances out of credit unions, or a tin box under the mattress?

It doesn't matter if your wages are given to you in cash, a cheque or a bank transfer, as long as you get a payslip that lists what you've earned, your tax paid, your PRSI contributions - seriously, he needs to get it sorted. 23 is young but it's too old to be fannying around like that unless that's all he wants to be doing with the rest of his life.

I can list about 10 reasons right now why cash in hand is a bad idea in a full time job, but half of them are long-term consequences that probably mean absolutely nothing to you when you're in your early twenties.