Attack of the too nice bull....

Heyes

Lately i seem to be having an issue where by guys have been claiming im too nice and they dont want to hurt me !?!.. granted i know this is bull....

but why is it that it feels like a lifetime for someone to actually feel wanted !?!....

little rant, little query.....

Talliesin

I take it you mean that you mean they're using this as a reason for not getting involved with you romantically?

Is there anything they give as an example of "too nice" behaviour.

To me "too nice" means not prepared to deal with the nastier things that sometimes has to be done. I'm guessing this is not what they mean? Apart from that definition I'd generally not take it as too bad a sign that someone thinks you're nice (someone that describes themselves as nice should almost always be avoided though). Have you tried asking them what the **** they mean by that crap (possibly leaving in the expletives, to offset the "nice" vibe)?

Heyes

some have said that basically they dont really know what they want and they dont wana hurt me as i dont deserve that.

in my opinion, utter rubish. I just dont understand why its so hard to find someone that just wants to relax, have a laugh, see what happens, and just enjoy.

D

Maybe they aren't interested in a long term relationship and think that you are, or maybe they are just not interested and don't have the balls to say it upfront. Has this only been said by 1/2 guys or do you get it regularly?

Heyes

D wrote:

Maybe they aren't interested in a long term relationship and think that you are, or maybe they are just not interested and don't have the balls to say it upfront. Has this only been said by 1/2 guys or do you get it regularly?

not regularly but i just have been having a run of bad luck lately and there s only so much knocking a girl can take

King of Kings

it may be that they are not considering a long term relationship maybe just a leg over and reckon you'd not be into that.

but as a guy i does sound like bull

AngryBadger

Generally people either want to go out with some or they don't. Usually if we're not particularly interested insomeone we'll string them along for a while in the notion that maybe we'll start to like them, (because there's no rational reason why we shouldn't be attracted to them), and sure if nothing happens there's a bit of fun along the way. We're not really too pushed about people getting hurt because we don't really care about them to begin with.

It's not necessarily BS when a guy says you're too nice, and he doesn't want to hurt you. Oftne it actually means he values you, (although not as a partner), and genuinely doesn't want to put you through the hurt of a few weeks banging followed by the inevitable "Dear John...".

That or you're a really insecure headmelt and no guy wants to be honest about it. But only you know if that's true.

sobriquet

Hi Heyes

Heyes wrote:

some have said that basically they dont really know what they want and they dont wana hurt me as i dont deserve that.

There's this girl that I like, and that I know likes me a lot. She's great - fun, smart, good-looking, great taste in music - as AngryBadger says, no rational reason not to be mad about her. But the thing is, I don't know what I want, and I don't want to hurt her whilst I figure myself out. (The last six months have been the worst of my life to date, and I'm not sure the whole event is over yet. If it's not, it'll only get worse.) I like and respect her too much as a person to string her along.

Heyes wrote:

in my opinion, utter rubish. I just dont understand why its so hard to find someone that just wants to relax, have a laugh, see what happens, and just enjoy.

I'm sorry you think it's rubbish, but I can say I'm in that position right now and it's not for ****s and giggles that I might end up saying the same things to this girl I know. I'd be honestly interested to hear why you think it's rubbish.

Basically though, AngryBadgers got it right.

Heyes

sobriquet wrote:

Hi Heyes


There's this girl that I like, and that I know likes me a lot. She's great - fun, smart, good-looking, great taste in music - as AngryBadger says, no rational reason not to be mad about her. But the thing is, I don't know what I want, and I don't want to hurt her whilst I figure myself out. (The last six months have been the worst of my life to date, and I'm not sure the whole event is over yet. If it's not, it'll only get worse.) I like and respect her too much as a person to string her along.

I'm sorry you think it's rubbish, but I can say I'm in that position right now and it's not for ****s and giggles that I might end up saying the same things to this girl I know. I'd be honestly interested to hear why you think it's rubbish.

Basically though, AngryBadgers got it right.

Suppose i kinda felt like it was bull because just couldnt understand why if we d gotten on so well and had mentioned doing things and then bang silence, just not very nice... im not a headmelt as Badger mentioned, im just up for a laugh, i never cause any pressure on someone to be a certain way or to do certain things.

Enough of me ranting anyway LOL