Black Cloud - The Coming Storm

Black Swan

Little known to Black Cloud in his youth that someday he would become a great chief of the Sioux Nation. But how in his early twenties would he know of his fate?

The Blue Coats had beaten the Sioux warriors in decades past with their superior numbers and advanced firepower. And in their wake the White Eyes came with their talk of the Sioux Nation's failure and the firewater they sold to distract the natives, while they stole the resources of their vanquished foe.

Black Cloud had not always been known by this name, but he was a thinker, and thoughts of his nation's plight, and those of his own, darkened his mood. Dark like the undersides of clouds ready to burst forth with a torrent of rain.

The tribal elders observed and spoke of these moods, sending him to the medicine man for a cure. And it was this feathered sage that thew up his hands in dismay, proclaiming that the young man before him could not be cured but through his own actions, and would henseforth be known as Black Cloud to reflect his mood until a self-cure was discovered.

These words of wisdom, and the herbs offered by the medicine man, did not serve to brighten Black Cloud's mood. He gave lip service to that which was customary for young braves, half-heartedly attending the tribal school, and taking up the typical hunting occupation thereafter.

Although respected by the tribe, he kept to himself, a loner of sorts not sharing what troubles brewed within him except for his dark look. And it was this darkness that was cause for others to keep their distance, not wanting to chance being rained upon, as they too had troubles of their own.

It was during a lonely walk in the forest that he caught sight of her. Not her physical form, but rather the pictographs she left behind addressed to him. To him and to no other! He could not fathom why she spoke to him of all braves. Oh, he was tall and strong, and would issue forth a wit that on occasion would be a source of laugher by passersby, but why him when he knew there were braves with better hunting records and a better mood?



(More to follow, if there is any interest in this very rough draft...)

Red Hand

Me think big words are mighty fine!:)

Yes, there needs to be more. I love it so far!

Black Swan

Such a large audience. I get the hint. Don't worry, I won't quit my day job.

TerrorFirmer

It's certainly an interesting style. Don't know what else to say about it, really, except it does have a good narrative quality, very....silver screen like actually.

Don't worry about the audience. Quite often I post works that don't receive any comment - anything other then poetry doesn't appear very often and often goes unnoticed by many.

If there's more, post it up.

Red Hand

Why isn't there more? You have kept us waiting for the next draft, Blue_Lagoon for over two weeks now!:mad:

There has to be more, for the audience is wonders why Black Cloud is so dark all the time, who the pictograph girl is and what exactly she wants from the solitary brave. Re-working can be performed on this work again and again until you have it as you want it, but for now, would you please care to continue the storyline?

For if so few paragraphs have tweaked my interest, then producing more of them cannot be a bad thing?