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Dumping people without explanation because of insecurities

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  • 06-11-2006 12:57pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I've started going out with a great guy. I really don't want to mess things up this time. I tend to do that alot... if I start going out with someone and think I like them too much, or if they're way too good looking or something stupid like that.. I'll dump them.

    For no better reason than my own insecurities...
    Then, if I let the guy know how insecure I actually am... then that messes things up, as it's not an attractive quality...

    I'm trying to find out how much he like me... to reassure myself that it's all good... without actually saying 'how much do you like me?'... which would scare any guy away


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    #2
    tbh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,914 ✭✭✭✭tbh


    Q1: "Why are you with this guy?"
    A1: "Because I like him, tbh, you silly sausage."

    Q1: "So, why is he with you?"
    A1: "Because maybe he feels sorry for me or maybe he's trying to trick me or"
    STOP! See the answer to Q1.

    It really is as simple as that. You insecurities are totally unknown to this guy, so stop wondering if it'll **** up the relationship. At this point, he is with you for the same reasons as you are with him. Please please please keep that in mind and try to relax - just see how it goes. You are not married to this guy, it may work or it may not. You may be the one who decides to end it, or he may be. I'm sure it's nothing personal on either side.

    you are right, you need to address the reasons why you are so insecure, but don't forget, a lot of times, confidence is just a front. We've all stuff we would hate anyone to find out about.


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    #3
    Jumpy
    Registered Users Posts: 7,606 ✭✭✭Jumpy


    tbh wrote:
    Q1: "Why are you with this guy?"
    A1: "Because I like him, tbh, you silly sausage."

    Q1: "So, why is he with you?"
    A1: "Because maybe he feels sorry for me or maybe he's trying to trick me or"
    STOP! See the answer to Q1.

    It really is as simple as that. You insecurities are totally unknown to this guy, so stop wondering if it'll **** up the relationship. At this point, he is with you for the same reasons as you are with him. Please please please keep that in mind and try to relax - just see how it goes. You are not married to this guy, it may work or it may not. You may be the one who decides to end it, or he may be. I'm sure it's nothing personal on either side.

    you are right, you need to address the reasons why you are so insecure, but don't forget, a lot of times, confidence is just a front. We've all stuff we would hate anyone to find out about.


    ^ This

    Very well said.


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    #4
    Black Swan
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,220 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    Chill out, relax, enjoy, and go with the flow. Don't take yourself so seriously, or him for that matter. If there's a future, it will occur over time, not by answering a question, "Do you like me?"


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    #5
    Jules
    Registered Users Posts: 6,756 ✭✭✭Jules


    hey op know how you feel, i have the exact same insecurities, but i have had to learn to stop, cuz it did get to the point where i know i was gonna fcuk things up in my relationship. you just have to relax and accept that maybe just maybe this guy actually likes you the way you are and for who you are. Learn to be more confident in yourself. Enjoy your relationship for what it is and dont look too far into the future!


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