im 20 and never "pulled" in a club

cluborange86

well this is the story, im 20 and am single now for 2 months. i was with someone since the start of 6th year so i was always with someone when i went clubbing. i have been clubbing alot since ive been single but never really took an interest in "pulling" someone but i did on thurs day night. this girl was amazing i mean best looking girl in the club, i approached her and told her my name and asked if she wanted to dance but she said she had a boyfriend. i dont mind talking to girls like im not afraid of them but i really dont know how to approach a girl. i really dont want to be one of those gropers that just start rubbing themselves off girls and i dont wanna have to rely on some line.

so is there anyway of pulling in a club without having to resort to one of these tactics? im a genuine guy, i dont go walking around looking for an easy score like i only had eyes for that one girl on Thursday.

sorry for rambling but does anyone have any advice?

Faith

The hottest girl in the club has every guy there after her. What made you stand out?

I'm not implying that you're not attractive, but try going after the not-so-blindingly-gorgeous girls and you'll have a far better chance.

It sounds like your approach is good though, keep using that.

Talliesin

Beats me. I'm 30 and I've never pulled in a club either. I can't say that I've ever felt particularly like I'd want to pull in a club, except that I'd then have someone I could leave the club with and go have a cup of coffee somewhere where I could hear them talk.

Why not just stick to meeting people in situations where you can hear well enough to have a conversation with them and see well enough to work out if you find them attractive without them being illuminated by multi-coloured flashing lights?

Ruu_Old

I think you are just a bit discouraged because some people might turn you down. You are going the right way about it I reckon and being proper (or as proper as you can in this situation) without going for "the groper" methods. Keep your chin up.

Motley Crue

cluborange86 wrote:

sorry for rambling but does anyone have any advice?

keep lookin at a girl, when she thinks your lookin at her, look away and then look back quick. smile at her but dont approach her for the first while. if she likes you, or likes the fact your eying her up, she'll smile back and give you a signal. if its a small club and you can get a table next to her then do. try and pick a girl whose not with a big group, and who doesnt appear to be with a fella. when her mates get up to dance motion to her by 'cockin' ur eyebrow u fancy dancin with her and see does she get up. if she does she'll be pretty much on for scoring ya unless you make a complete balls of it.

when dancin wit her move ur hands across her hips, not her ass, and look into her eyes. laugh at most of the things that she says, whether you personally find them funny or not, and keep looking every once and a while at her lips. from time to time, lick ur lips (but dont do it that often) and if she still hasnt gotten the hint then take her hand and ask her if she wants to go back to your table or hers for a little conversation. Again, make sure the table is relatively empty and dont really let her get distracted. put your hand on her knee when your sitting down and rub in softly. look at her eyes and her lips and nature will eventually take its course.

its worked for me

cluborange86

Faith wrote:

The hottest girl in the club has every guy there after her. What made you stand out?

I'm not implying that you're not attractive, but try going after the not-so-blindingly-gorgeous girls and you'll have a far better chance.

It sounds like your approach is good though, keep using that.

sorry but im not lowering my standards just to pull someone, admittedly i do have very high standards, too high for me id say. just cause i think she was the best looking girl doesnt mean every one else did and as for standing out thats pretty much what im asking, i think im going about things differently from other guys ie not groping her or pretty much dry humping her on the dance floor without saying hi first

Faith

cluborange86 wrote:

admittedly i do have very high standards, too high for me id say.

There's your problem right there, then.

cluborange86

Motley Crue wrote:

keep lookin at a girl, when she thinks your lookin at her, look away and then look back quick. smile at her but dont approach her for the first while. if she likes you, or likes the fact your eying her up, she'll smile back and give you a signal. if its a small club and you can get a table next to her then do. try and pick a girl whose not with a big group, and who doesnt appear to be with a fella. when her mates get up to dance motion to her by 'cockin' ur eyebrow u fancy dancin with her and see does she get up. if she does she'll be pretty much on for scoring ya unless you make a complete balls of it.

when dancin wit her move ur hands across her hips, not her ass, and look into her eyes. laugh at most of the things that she says, whether you personally find them funny or not, and keep looking every once and a while at her lips. from time to time, lick ur lips (but dont do it that often) and if she still hasnt gotten the hint then take her hand and ask her if she wants to go back to your table or hers for a little conversation. Again, make sure the table is relatively empty and dont really let her get distracted. put your hand on her knee when your sitting down and rub in softly. look at her eyes and her lips and nature will eventually take its course.

its worked for me

ya making eye contact with a girl and looking away and smiling at a girl was part of my "pulling technique" alright i suppose it will just take time and practice to get it right. thanks for the advice though, some good advice in there. id like to hear a girl opinion on matters though! cheers mate

cluborange86

Faith wrote:

There's your problem right there, then.

ya quite possibly is, but i tried chatting up one girl and she had a boyfriend so its not like ive been trying for months on end! my standards are high but i cant help that! i just wish i knew if im kidding myself thinking i can "pull" the hottest girl in the club(in my eyes anyway) the girl on thursday was about 6ft so i think that ruled out a lot of guys as im 6ft 3

Talliesin

High standards are the way to go. Life's too short to drink bad wine.

Still, as long you keep to your high standards, rather than worry about how hot other people will find someone, as that's just very low standards in disguise.

cluborange86

Talliesin wrote:

High standards are the way to go. Life's too short to drink bad wine.

Still, as long you keep to your high standards, rather than worry about how hot other people will find someone, as that's just very low standards in disguise.

thanks for that man! i dont think i could "pull" someone i didnt find attractive let alone sleep with someone! aim for the stars i guess!

craichoe

WTF would you want to "pull" in a club for anyway .... everyones hammered and you dont know who your attracted too.

Personally i think irish pubs and clubs are the worst place to meet someone, everyone is pi**ed and noone is in their right mind.

po0k

Why not try a dating agency?

Or Adverts.ie?

CathyMoran

People have tried to pull me in a club but I would not even consider it. I have always had high standards but have met people via friends, via college societies and once met someone over the net when I was not looking for someone. I met my fiancee in college via a college society.

Why do you feel the need to pull in a club, there are far better and easier ways.

cluborange86

craichoe wrote:

WTF would you want to "pull" in a club for anyway .... everyones hammered and you dont know who your attracted too.

Personally i think irish pubs and clubs are the worst place to meet someone, everyone is pi**ed and noone is in their right mind.

well im a college student so its kind of hard not to go clubbing and pubbing! i know they're not the best place to meet people but im young and i wanna experience it. i know who im attracted to! i dont suffer from beer goggles!

cluborange86

SyxPak wrote:

Why not try a dating agency?

Or Adverts.ie?

are you joking? im 20, theres no chance ill find a girl there my age that i like!(and isnt crazy!)

cluborange86

CathyMoran wrote:

People have tried to pull me in a club but I would not even consider it. I have always had high standards but have met people via friends, via college societies and once met someone over the net when I was not looking for someone. I met my fiancee in college via a college society.

Why do you feel the need to pull in a club, there are far better and easier ways.

ya see i want to meet someone through friends cause to be honest thats how most couples meet anyway, but im a young college student so i wanna get out there and have fun! i go clubbing twice a week while single so its only natural that i see girls that i want to "pull" so i dont really see the problem in that!

i think this thread has gone off topic abit because people aren't really telling me whether my tactics are right or wrong!

craichoe

The thing you have to worry about is, if you can only meet people in clubs or out drinking? do you need the drink to meet these people.

And seriously .. will you have the same "high standards" with 5 or 6 beers in you ?

Meet people in college .... i know your only 20 but eh ...come on ... theres other places to meet girls .. your in a college .. ITS FULL OF THEM !

cluborange86

craichoe wrote:

The thing you have to worry about is, if you can only meet people in clubs or out drinking? do you need the drink to meet these people.

And seriously .. will you have the same "high standards" with 5 or 6 beers in you ?

Meet people in college .... i know your only 20 but eh ...come on ... theres other places to meet girls .. your in a college .. ITS FULL OF THEM !

im not the type of person that needs alcohol to have fun! ive been out clubbing and pubbing loads while just drinking club orange and have had as much fun as my drunken friends! i seriously do have high standards and alcohol doesnt really effect this. well the reason i havent met someone around college is cause since my break up i havent had any interest in meeting new girls until thursday when i saw that girl!

Jules

Take the advice pulling girls in clubs is pointless, as people have said you can't hear them or see them properly... usless your looking for a meaningless night of... well whatever... but if you are looking for something more than take a hobby or a college society and meet them. That way you have more of a chance to meet someone you have something in common with... and not some random slapper!

is_that_so

I think I once pulled at disco at 15. But when the lights came up we were both disappointed.
Overrated idea tbh. Get out and do other things. Parties, social activities even pubs are better for meeting people. We all experience life at our own pace and not at the beck and call of our peers.

Victor

Don't worry, you'll find someone. I think I've only ever got as far as kissing one woman in a club (unless I knew her beforehand). And that was in waterford.

I did have a bunch of girls fight over me on the dance floor once. Failed to capitalise on it though - drunk mate was sitting on my jacket and wouldn't get up.

cluborange86

sure we'll see what happens! thanks for the advice people!

A Primal Nut

SyxPak wrote:

Why not try a dating agency?

Or Adverts.ie?

Yeah coz the Female Seeks Male section is a hive of activity::rolleyes:

http://www.adverts.ie/showcat.php?cat=11

I think everyone has gone a bit off-topic with the advice. Everyone assumes he wants a long term relationship when in reality he wants a bit of short term fun which is what college is all about!

I think the best part of your approach was not what you did. But the fact you approached. For most guys that's the hardest part. As long as you feel you can approach any girl without feeling shy you will score your fair share of birds during college.

If your really interested in mastering the art of the Pull, read The Game by Neil Straus or get the Venusian Arts Handbook by Mystery. Or something by David Deangelo.

arybvtcw0eolkf

I've skipped through most of the replies. Basically I've worked in clubs for over 15yrs and I can honestly tell you that not alot of guys pull regularly, and those who say they do are downright liars!.

chump

A lot of pulling in clubs is between mutual friends and friends of friends.
If you were in a club with some friends and 1 of them friends had a bunch of other friends, people whom you don't know that well - you have an 'in' with them, and likewise anyone there they know.

It's just a social spiderweb.

Then of course there's the randomers scoring that goes on. But I think that lies in the spectrum of groping randomers - that you're not interested in

LundiMardi

How anyone pulls in a club mystifies me, you can't even hear your friends let alone some girl off her tits in the corner.

Tar.Aldarion

Drink, dancing, jaysus she's hot. Shout your name at her a few times, kiss her.


Don't lower your standards, no matter what faith says. Heh.
She either had a bf, or didn't like you, simple as.
When you find a single one that thinks you are good looking then bingo, your approach sounds fine.
Sounding a bit too worried after just one rejection mate.

nando

From a girl's point of view I don't think you're doing anything wrong or could do anything much different. Avoiding the sleazy groping is definitely the way to go! All you can do is make eye contact with a girl you like then maybe approach her and start up a conversation or ask her to dance. If only one girl turned you down then I don't see a problem - maybe she actually did have a boyfriend??

One thing I will say though is that while you're right to stick to your own high standards, you have to accept that the girls you like have every right to stick to theirs too - and you may not fit their idea of what they want. In which case they'll turn you down. Don't take it personally - move on.

Annie Bananie

nando wrote:

From a girl's point of view I don't think you're doing anything wrong or could do anything much different. Avoiding the sleazy groping is definitely the way to go! All you can do is make eye contact with a girl you like then maybe approach her and start up a conversation or ask her to dance. If only one girl turned you down then I don't see a problem - maybe she actually did have a boyfriend??

One thing I will say though is that while you're right to stick to your own high standards, you have to accept that the girls you like have every right to stick to theirs too - and you may not fit their idea of what they want. In which case they'll turn you down. Don't take it personally - move on.

Im a girl too and agrees with all of the above

One thing I can't stand though is when the guys try to force you to dance with them by rubbing against you on the dance floor. Not hot!
It's a different story if they ask you first.

cluborange86

thanks for the advice girls. its not that im taking rejection badly or anything its just its the first time i had to do such a thing so i was just looking for reassurance of what i did was right or wrong!

i really cant see how the gropers get anywhere! its somewhere i dont wanna go and i dont wanna find a girl that would score me if i used that tactic!

i guess the real reason i felt like i needed to post here was cause i felt embarrassed asking for a dance with a girl! think it sounded a bit like our parents time back in the day!

Idbatterim

when you mean score do you just mean kiss? christ perosnally i wouldnt put much effort into that return! Remember fireworks in town, great place, pity that place aint open anymore for those of you that want an easy and frequent score"

cluborange86

ya score = kiss! but the word score is def more applicable to pulling in a club!

well im in cork so that club wouldnt help me much anyway!

mountainyman

Pulling in clubs is a numbers game. You are a whining crybaby. Rejection is part and parcel of being a man, if you can't deal with it tough.

Every knockback gets you closer to your hole.

MM

pbsuxok1znja4r

Motley Crue wrote:

keep lookin at a girl, when she thinks your lookin at her, look away and then look back quick. smile at her but dont approach her for the first while. if she likes you, or likes the fact your eying her up, she'll smile back and give you a signal. if its a small club and you can get a table next to her then do. try and pick a girl whose not with a big group, and who doesnt appear to be with a fella. when her mates get up to dance motion to her by 'cockin' ur eyebrow u fancy dancin with her and see does she get up. if she does she'll be pretty much on for scoring ya unless you make a complete balls of it.

when dancin wit her move ur hands across her hips, not her ass, and look into her eyes. laugh at most of the things that she says, whether you personally find them funny or not, and keep looking every once and a while at her lips. from time to time, lick ur lips (but dont do it that often) and if she still hasnt gotten the hint then take her hand and ask her if she wants to go back to your table or hers for a little conversation. Again, make sure the table is relatively empty and dont really let her get distracted. put your hand on her knee when your sitting down and rub in softly. look at her eyes and her lips and nature will eventually take its course.

its worked for me

I'm sorry but don't ever set out to do any of that formulaic nonsense.
Especially the "look at them then look away" bit. Are you actually trolling or what?

Just. go. talk. to. her. About anything. If it's right, smiles will 'magically' appear on both your faces without you even having to think about it. Just wing it, seriously. You don't need to perform any freakin' mating signals.
You seem like a relatively normal bloke so just don't worry about it and do concentrate on having fun or at least just enjoying talking to/dancing with them. Best thing you can do. Don't make all interaction with them just a means to that end; just to 'pull'.

Dragan

cluborange86 wrote:

sorry for rambling but does anyone have any advice?

I always say this but when you go out specifically to pull that very act can scupper your chances. I have never "pulled" in a club, but i have been with a lot on interesting girls in them...why? Because when i go out to pull it is always on my mind, when i end up scoring some nice lass i was just out having fun and would have appeared laid back and confident and more attractive for that!

To be honest, i seem to pull easily when i don't think about it, because i'm not trying to impress anyone, i am just out having fun and that gives off a good vibe.

The one thing that makes me stand out other than the size of me ( lol for all you folks who know of me ) is my confidence....because i tend not to worry about that type of thing when i am out and just have a good time instead.

mountainyman wrote:

Pulling in clubs is a numbers game. You are a whining crybaby. Rejection is part and parcel of being a man, if you can't deal with it tough.

i also find that hilarious, and the words pot and kettle spring to mind.

Blackpitts

hey OP, do not worry, it's not that easy to pull in a club, especially in Dub.
I'm a boy, but honestly I understand the attitude of some girls, there are too many blokes annoying , touching or rubbing themselves on them...
So an awful lot of girls have developed a sort of "self-defense", they look cold or they could reject you just becasue they don't know you and they think you are just another sleazy guy...
you need to work really hard to break this defence and it is very difficult when you have no more than 30 seconds to break the ice...
this is really a pity, there are so many good looking and smart girls around and so many nice and reliable guys too, but sometimes it is really hard to match them, and many of us just back home alone. That's why a pub is a better place to make new friends or meet a girl.
Many gorgeous girls have less "affairs" then a "normal" girl when they go clubbing, IMHO.
Go clubbing, look at the sexy girls, have fun with your mates, have a few, but be ready to be "dismissed" too, you will enjoy more the night.
...just my 2 cents...

mountainyman

Dragan wrote:

i also find that hilarious, and the words pot and kettle spring to mind.

Why's that?

MM

sweet-rasmus

Motley Crue wrote:

keep lookin at a girl, when she thinks your lookin at her, look away and then look back quick. smile at her but dont approach her for the first while. if she likes you, or likes the fact your eying her up, she'll smile back and give you a signal. if its a small club and you can get a table next to her then do. try and pick a girl whose not with a big group, and who doesnt appear to be with a fella. when her mates get up to dance motion to her by 'cockin' ur eyebrow u fancy dancin with her and see does she get up. if she does she'll be pretty much on for scoring ya unless you make a complete balls of it.

when dancin wit her move ur hands across her hips, not her ass, and look into her eyes. laugh at most of the things that she says, whether you personally find them funny or not, and keep looking every once and a while at her lips. from time to time, lick ur lips (but dont do it that often) and if she still hasnt gotten the hint then take her hand and ask her if she wants to go back to your table or hers for a little conversation. Again, make sure the table is relatively empty and dont really let her get distracted. put your hand on her knee when your sitting down and rub in softly. look at her eyes and her lips and nature will eventually take its course.

its worked for me

i wouldn't go with any of this if i were you...

mountainyman

Do go for it sounds hilarious, cock an eyebrow Roger Moore style.

Awesome.

MM

Red Alert

fireworks (apart from being the hostname of the PC i'm writing on now for old time's sake) is sorely missed by some!

it's the only place i ever really tried to or did score a total randomer.

best/easiest/whatever scores i have had have always just began as a normal mundane conversation. there's always a girl who doesn't want to dance when her friends are going up, throw your eye around the club, she could be a good talker and you can start from there.

LegacyUser

'

craichoe wrote:

The thing you have to worry about is, if you can only meet people in clubs or out drinking? do you need the drink to meet these people. \r\n\r\nAnd seriously .. will you have the same \"high standards\" with 5 or 6 beers in you ?\r\n\r\nMeet people in college .... i know your only 20 but eh ...come on ... theres other places to meet girls .. your in a college .. ITS FULL OF THEM !

\r\n\r\nwhat have you got against a young man going out enjoying himself? pubbing/clubbing is one of the most exciting things to do in dublin and thought there\'s more ways than that to \'pull\' a girl it\'s the best way if you just want to \'score\'. \r\n\r\nand mate you seem like an attractive nice young man i wouldnt go for internet dating just yeT! thats for when your 50 and havent got a girl yet!\r\n\r\nyou seem to have the right approach to pulling girls its better than dry humping her on the dancefloor girls will like that. i dont see the problem apart from the fact that you didnt get one girl. she had a boyfriend, i wouldnt be disappointed try again with another attractive girl you like but dont have too high standards. good luck!!'

pbsuxok1znja4r

mountainyman wrote:

Do go for it sounds hilarious, cock an eyebrow Roger Moore style.

Awesome.

Haha well you can't argue with that, doing anything Roger Moore style FTW!

greenkittie

A good tactic is after the initial contact if she seems interested to ask her to go out to the smoking section for a chat.. makes you seem like you think she is more than just a piece of ass. I was duped that way once. :rolleyes:

ferdi

cluborange86 wrote:

never really took an interest in "pulling" someone but i did on thurs day night. this girl was amazing i mean best looking girl in the club, i approached her...............im a genuine guy, i dont go walking around looking for an easy score

so your looking to 'pull' a burd in a club but your a genuine guy not looking for an easy score?

panda100

ferdi wrote:

so your looking to 'pull' a burd in a club but your a genuine guy not looking for an easy score?

He's a 'genuine' guy cos he doesnt go around looking for an 'easy' score like a fat ugly bird.He goes for difficult uneasy scores like the best looking girl in the club....really genuine guy!:rolleyes:

cluborange86

panda100 wrote:

He's a 'genuine' guy cos he doesnt go around looking for an 'easy' score like a fat ugly bird.He goes for difficult uneasy scores like the best looking girl in the club....really genuine guy!:rolleyes:

basically one girl will take my fancy and ill go talk to her if she says no i wont try anyone else! im not just out for a score like! im not viewing girls as a piece of ass! most guys on the pull will try again and again and eventually score anyone at the end of the night!

Drift

LOL, I think what they're trying to get at OP is that your post seems to imply that a not so good looking girl would be easier to score! (We know thats not what you mean but your post could be picked up that way.)

Back on topic: Be yourself and more importantly be comfortable being yourself, girls like that in guys and guys like that in girls. What you say or do doesn't really mean much because everyone has their own style and their own approach, but the key is to use your own style, be yourself and if you're not sure who/what that is then sort that out first and you'll be beating them off with a stick.

pbsuxok1znja4r

Drift wrote:

you'll be beating them off with a stick.

Haha kinky. But yeah, mostly what this guy and Panda said. Rather than just trying to score, focus on having fun in the process.

LegacyUser

'Just do it! Ugly burds are easier because the don\'t get as much attention.\r\nShe had a boyfriend ... she had no interest in you ... sorry thats life.\r\nAre you looking to pull or looking for a girlfriend?\r\nNeed to chill out and enjoy - go with flow'