Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
oral sex
Options
-
04-11-2006 12:36pm#1
Comments
-
-
so should i just tickle him with my tounge? thanks for the quick reply!Smoggy wrote:Find "the little man in a boat", you cant go wrong.
0 -
-
-
-
Advertisement
-
-
Motley Crue wrote:Try and find a balance between when shes dry and when shes soaking wet, believe me, if she gets too wet u dont want to touch down there.
:rolleyes:
OP,
Women secrete more natural lubricant the more they enjoy what you are doing, so the wetter she gets, the closer to orgasm she is...try & avoid advice from amateurs who don't know what they are talking about would be my top advice! Ask your gf what she likes...get her to call out to you & tell you how she wants it "Faster", "Left a bit", etc, etc - then you can learn how she likes it best. Every woman is different, some like lots of clitoral stimulation, or hard lapping right on the clitoris, others hate that & prefer gentle licking of the labia...only your gf can tell you what does it for her! Best of luck & most of all - enjoy yourself! 0 -
-
Ickle Magoo wrote: :rolleyes:
OP,
Women secrete more natural lubricant the more they enjoy what you are doing, so the wetter she gets, the closer to orgasm she is...
While I do understand this, the only problem is that the wetter she gets the, eh...how do I put this, the odur increases down there. Im sorry, but she even says it herself, the wetter she gets, the harder it is for me to breathe:eek:0 -
-
Advertisement
-
-
A big thing to remember is that for the most part if your tounge is soft and only slightly sticking out of your mouth (or not at all if you mouth is sucking on the area surrounding her clitoris) then that will generally give for a better sensation for her than if it is sticking out far and hence rigid, less sensitive, and moving more jerkily.
To put it another way, do you know the stereotypical "leh leh leh leh" gesture used to simulate the act of cunnilingus for ribald comic effect? - Don't do it like that.
Open your mouth slightly. Right now as you are reading this. Place your index finger against your mouth so it is pressing against both your lips, pointing up from your chin to just below your nose. Move your tounge out to touch your finger. Move your tounge around a bit. See how soft and sensitive it is?
Now move your hand away, stick your tounge out as far as it'll go. Bring your finger to reach it. Move your tounge about again like you did before, but this time with it stretched out. See how it is less soft and moving more jerkily and off-target more often?
The first case, with a soft tounge is what you want to start with as your basic technique for stimulating a clitoris with your mouth, both in the case of you not being experienced with cunnilingus, or in the case of engaging in cunnilingus with a new partner.
From that point you want to go into variants. There are a few reasons why you'll want to vary from the basic technique:- To find things she particularly likes.
- To do things you like and she either also likes or at least doesn't mind being in the mix.
- She will probably enjoy there being a bit of variation. How much variation will vary from woman to woman, and potentially from session to session.
- You will be less likely to get bored if you are inclined to do so. Alternatively you may find there is a bit of relief of sexual tension if you are very inclined not to be bored, if you get my drift
- Changing what you are doing with your mouth will mean different muscles get used in different ways, avoiding a build-up of lactic acid and hence enabling you to keep at it longer.
All variants will have different effects on different women at different times and in different degrees of arousal, how romantic and "loved up" they're feeling and other factors. Even with the same woman what she'll enjoy when you are just getting started is likely to differ from what she'll enjoy when she's close to orgams, including the same things differing in degrees of speed, pressure applied etc. Of course, the same applies to how much you'll enjoy the variations yourself.
The first variant is the stiff-tounge technique I've just told you not to do. A little bit of that in the mix can get a good effect. If you've already got her well into a state of arousal then a quick stiff-tounged flick can be a pleasant shock, and with some women can be the ideal way to bring things to a climax when she is nearly there.
Again, just how much, how soon, and for how long you should use the stiffer-tounge technique will vary from woman to woman and with some women from session to session. You might even find that your partner does prefer the stiffer-tounge method, but starting with the soft-tounge method is way more likely to get a good response (and the response can be pretty good for the ego if your the first person to use it on a woman who's had oral sex before...).
Other variants are licking along her pussy, or inside it. Despite the slang term "licking out" this is generally in the variant category rather than the "main thing" category.
Don't forget that the rest of her body is still there. With most positions her nipples will still be just about within reach for whatever degree of stimulation she finds pleasant (which can range from finding even soft and light stimulation unpleasant all the way through to liking them squeezed or twisted hard - this is a whole other thing to explore, but in general assume light affectionate play is the way to go until you learn otherwise). Her thighs will be there to fondle. You may both enjoy it if you hold them firmly apart giving both pleasure in that act itself and better access. Alternatively you may both enjoy it if she presses them into your head. Or she may find you holding them to be uncomfortable.
Cupping the area around her clitoris with your mouth and applying a gentle suction may or may not do it for her.
Fingering of her vagina may work well for one or both of you, or using your fingers on her clit for a bit while you move to lightly kissing her thighs or licking her pussy or whatever.
Her ass will be well within reach, whether you both like you fondling her buttocks or cupping them with her hands, fingering around or in her anus, or whatever. Do be careful if your fingers or a sex-toy come into contact with her anus not to use that finger or sex-toy where it could spread infection to her pussy.
Similarly while anilingus can be a very enjoyable thing to throw into the mix, going from mouth-to-anus to mouth-to-genitals carries a high risk of causing an infection.
On the general topic of safety, cunnilingus is a pretty safe act relatively speaking, but there is some risk of spreading infection, particularly if you have open sores in or on your mouth.
Some men like the taste, some men don't. Personally I'd have to say it's my favourite taste in the world and probably quite a factor in why I slightly prefer women to men, (I'm bi, but if I was with a man monogamously I'd definitely miss that taste). However, there's no rule that says you have to like it, and you're not weird if you don't (only if you start assuming everyone in the world should feel the same way about it as you). In such a case you may want to introduce some flavouring of your own, but avoid using sugary foods, since that has a risk of causing trush (if you like natural yoghurt then great - since that fights trush!).
The person who will know best what she likes is her. It will always be her and nothing that anyone else says is going to match up to what you can learn from listening to her. Still, it's up to you to give her the opportunity to learn what she likes by trying them on her. It's also reasonable for you to add in a bit of something that turns you on to do that she doesn't particularly like, as long as she doesn't actually dislike it.
The "ABC" trick people often talk about is really a technique to stop people getting bored or over-excited if they've a tendency to get bored or over-excited. It won't actually do much in and of itself for you to be writing the alphabet on her clit over any other movements you could be doing with your (soft soft soft!) tongue, but it can help you overcome either being there feeling you don't know what you are doing or being there getting so excited that your tongue is flapping about like a plastic bag caught in a draft.
A mouthful of cold or warm liquid changes the sensations, in a way some find great and some not.
Head-spaces are another part of this. You may like things to be very egalitarian in the bedroom, or you may like one of you to be more "in charge" to a degree that can vary from one person being just slightly more likely to suggest a change in position or initiate sex all the way through to hard-core BDSM.
If you are off the egalitarian persuasion in the bedroom then that's easy to deal with - you just do a bit of what she likes and she does a bit of what you like and all is well.
If you lean towards her being in charge, or in charge some of the time, then that's easy to deal with too. Just do what she says like a good boy until she's had a mind blowing orgasm.
If you lean towards you being the one in charge - and this is something you both enjoy, rather than it being a matter of you complaining to yourself "why do I always have to be the one who starts things" - then it can sometimes not be too easy to see how to bring that into a situation like cunnilingus where you are primarily doing things for her benefit (though hopefully you enjoy it too, certainly that's the biggest thing in terms of how good you are going to be at it). Still, once you've got to a point where you are pretty confident that you know what you're doing you can bring an attitude of "I'm going to give you the best orgasm in your life whether you want me to or not", go with that, ignore some of the things she says (or keep them in mind, but don't react straight away, so she gets the thing she wants, but you keep the dynamic where you both like it also) and generally act like it's all about your pleasure even when it's not. However, this is tricky to do until you know what works for her quite well, so even if you're normally inclined to take charge and she's normally inclined to let you, it's best to just do what she wants at first. If she finds it really hard to take charge enough to direct you though you can try playing at insisting that she tells you want to do (kinda bottoming from the top).0 -
-
-
-
Talliesin wrote:Also. We'll all be able to amuse ourselves looking at people in our offices licking their fingers while reading that post
Damn, you saw me too?0 -
-
-
-
-
Advertisement
-
Oh, and while theqazz wrote:watch some lesbian porn movie. they do it very well
probably means this poster was joking it's worth remembering the golden rule about sexual technique:
Never ever ever take something you see in pornography as indicative of how to do it
Ideas and inspiration as to how things you might want to do, sure, but as far as how to do it, no.
Pornography is responsible for more crappy sexual technique than a puritan like Oliver Cromwell could ever hope to be.0 -
Damn right. There's no reason why people shouldn't know these kind of basics, and safe-sex education methods with adults that focused on giving information about what feels good as well as simply the relative risks of different acts (often with zero information on what the act you've just been told is relatively safe or unsafe actually is) gets through to people a lot more than coming across as someone who just wants to warn you off having some fun. The Hot, Horney and Healthy series of pamphlets aimed at gay and bisexual men in the 90s being an example - for once it looked like safe sex might actually be enjoyablejules80 wrote:hell this should be taught in school!
The bits above about mindset and about much of the rest of your lover's body being available to play with applies for felatio as much as it does cunnilingus (it's slightly safer to go from anilingus to fellatio than to go from anilingus to cunnilingus as men are less susceptible to some of the infections you can catch that way, but there's still a risk and there's also a risk of you getting infected from aniligus followed by fellatio fallowed by intercourse especially if that intercourse is without barrier contraception. It's also slightly less safe to engage in fellatio in and off itself than cunniligus especially if the fellatee cums in the fellater's mouth, though again if there are no open sores or cuts in your mouth it's relatively safe to engage in).girlsproblem wrote:on a similar note.. im a girl whos never given oral before but i know my bf really wants it. the main reason ive been avoiding it is because i just dont know what im doing!
hate to sound like a total idiot.. but is it just as simple as sucking..? (yes i know not to blow..)
Sucking is definitely one of the things you can do. Blowing isn't much good as you say, though it can be good for a giggle with someone that you're comfortable enough with that you might do something silly for a giggle too.
One thing I forgot to say in the above advice about cunnilinugs and which definitely applies to fellatio as well, is how you start off looking at what you are going to bring your mouth too.
It can be very beneficial to a man's sense of enjoyment of the act if you start off admiring his cock. (This also applies to admiring the pussy of a female partner). Don't force the issue. If penises look a bit silly to you, then don't pretend otherwise. However if you're looking at it thinking "wow what a magnificent cock!" then let that reaction show in your reactions and words. Take time to enjoy the sight and feel of it. If you wear glasses don't take them off straight away, but leave them on (hell, put them back on saying "Mmm, I got to get a better look at this lovely cock" and 95% of men are going to get a big psychological boost right there).
As well as sucking a big (bigger) thing is licking. Most men find that the point in the "V" that the shape of the head makes particularly sensitive, and this has been referred to as the "male clitoris" though that probably overstates the case quite a bit.
The head as a whole will generally enjoy licking, whether this is happening while you suck or not.
Licking along the shaft of the penis, the testicles, and the perenium (the area just behind the scrotum) will also bring pleasure. Take time to explore each and to find how much stimulation brings pleasure and how much is too intense (the "too intense" point will change as he approaches the point of orgasm).
If he's uncircumcised your going to want to do most of your licking on the head with the foreskin pulled back. However having it up over the head, sucking on it, and then letting your tounge explore in between the foreskin and the head is a great sensation. Generally playing with the foreskin in your mouth is a good idea - not a majorly large sensation, but pleasant, nipping it is going to be either very good or very very bad depending on the man and/or his degree of arousal.
Be careful about exposing the head for too long when it isn't being wet by your mouth though - allowing the head of an uncircumcised penis to dry out can be painful.
How much you take in your mouth will change the sensation greatly. Having just the head in your mouth will allow for a deeper sensation conentrated upon the most sensitive part of the penis while giving room for your hand to work the shaft. Having a lot in your mouth is a less intense sensation but over a larger area of the penis. It requires practice to take a lot in your mouth and not gag. Unless you both actually enjoy playing at you having difficulties with what you're doing (common play in a BDSM setting) this is something to avoid.
"Deep throating" where you actually take so much into your mouth that the head is going into your throat (providing you're dealing with a big enough penis - size doesn't mean much but I have to admit it was a bit disappointing when I had a boyfriend who wouldn't even reach the back of my tongue
) is trickier still and requires a lot of practice and a bit of luck (some people just aren't ever going to get it). It's best to consider deep throating to be another thing again - decide whether you want to engage in it separately from whether you want to engage in fellatio and if you choose to then leave it off until you're confident that you already give good head without it.
The question as to whether to have the man cum in your mouth, on part of your body, on your clothes, on himself, somewhere else, or not at all (e.g. switching to intercourse or another sexual act before that point is reached) is something that you have to find agreement on.
Many men like cumming in someone's mouth, though a large number do not and will feel uncomfortable and worried that you may find it disrespectful.
Many people like someone cumming in their mouth, but a large number do not and do indeed find it disrespectful or if nothing else dislike the taste (the taste is affected by diet [men, each more fresh fruit and naturally sweet things [not candy with high refined sugar or sweetener content], medication, physical health, and a few other factors).
Similarly with cumming on someone's face or elsewhere on their body, and so on.
For those who do get a kick out of semen being swallowed, there can be an even bigger kick in seeing it licked up, rolled around the mouth, dribbled or otherwise making the fact that its going into that person's mouth more obvious. Or that can have a big "ick" factor for either or both of the people involved.
Some enjoy snowballing, where you pass it from one partners mouth to the other, "snowballing" in size as saliva adds to it, but many don't.
There isn't a right or wrong idea here. Semen is safe to ingest (with the caveats about infection especially if there are cuts or sores) and its high zinc content means it is if anything possibly good to get on your skin (though its high pH is a negative factor in this regard) so there's nothing wrong with doing so, but you don't have to like it and couples need to be clear on just what is okay with each other.0 -
Advertisement