Some Irish sayings.....

fred funk }{

Some old, Some a little bold


She had a face on her like a well slapped arse.
You're as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit.
He has rubber-lined pockets so he can steal soup.
He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician.
As funny as a burning orphanage.
He's so camp, he sh!ts tent pegs.
I'm as sick as a plane to Lourdes.
I feel like a boiled sh!te (hungover).
(when leaving) I'm off like a debs dress.
She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn.
As busy as the Dalkey dole office.
Sweatin' like a paedophile in a Barney suit.
As tight as a nun's knickers.
I'm so horny I'd get up on the crack of dawn.
I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of the van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.
Up and down like a hoor's knickers.
No show pony but would do for a ride around the house.
Did your mother find out who your father is yet?
What would ye expect from a pig but a grunt.
I left her with a face like a painters radio.
A mickey the size of a double-value can of Right Guard.
Jaysus, she could breastfeed a crèche.
As fit as a butcher's dog.
She's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
Not even the tide would take her out.
Mother Teresa wouldn't kiss her.
Daz wouldn't shift her.
Des Kelly wouldn't lay her.
A sniper wouldn't take her out.
The Titanic wouldn't go down on her.
Jaysus, ya wouldn't ride her into battle.
If I'd a bag of bruised willies I wouldn't give her one.
She has a face on her like a bulldog that's just licked piss off a nettle.
She wouldn't get a kick in a stampede.
She had a fanny like a badly packed kebab.
If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall.
Give her a boot in the arse and a bucket of mickeys would fall out of her.

Peace

aaahhhhh deadly, deadly.