To drop out or not?

LegacyUser

I have a bit of a problem. I have no idea what I'm still doing in college. I've paid my fees for the semester, I have a lovely place to live and my course is really interesting - but I don't want anything to do with it. At the moment I just feel like crying because I don't want to be here, or be in this situation. I have loans, but they're managable, I have the required sh*tty part-time job, I have plenty of acquaintances and friends and a good social life. But it all feels completely wrong. I know it sounds silly, but I just want to run home and hide for a few months.

Nothing in particular has happened to bring this on as far as I can see, it just feels like something that's been building for a while. But my family, especially my Dad, would be heartbroken. I'm the eldest and he never got to finish secondary school. He's so proud that I got my degree and everything, but it means nothing to me.

I guess I just needed to vent a bit. Sorry. But if anyone has any suggestions I'd really appreciate them.

humanji

Well, in the end, you have to do what makes you happy. Remember that your Dad is proud of you, not your achievements. He'll stick by you what ever your decision.

Sure you got a degree, that's great. I dropped out of college with nothing and I don't regret it for a moment. I went on to do what I wanted and now have a job I absolutely love (which is rare in this day and age). So if I can do make it with nothing then I'd say you've little worries in the way of finding a full job.

You have to sit down and think about what you want to do with your life. No matter how stupid it may sound, think it over. If you want to write a move, then write one. If you want to go travelling, then travel. If you want to open a stall that sells second hand clothes, then do it. It's not the end of the world if you fail, but it is if you don't even try.

Your family and friends will support you no matter what you do.

You have a degree and that is an incredible achievement.

Recently I was in a somewhat similar situation where i was stuck in a college course I didn't like whatsoever. Got through to second year and decided to drop out half way through it. Now I am doing a PLC and am thoroughly enjoying it.

Perhaps it would be a good idea to go home for a few months to sort your head out?

upthere

Blooper wrote:

I have a bit of a problem. I have no idea what I'm still doing in college. I've paid my fees for the semester, I have a lovely place to live and my course is really interesting - but I don't want anything to do with it. At the moment I just feel like crying because I don't want to be here, or be in this situation. I have loans, but they're managable, I have the required sh*tty part-time job, I have plenty of acquaintances and friends and a good social life. But it all feels completely wrong. I know it sounds silly, but I just want to run home and hide for a few months.

Nothing in particular has happened to bring this on as far as I can see, it just feels like something that's been building for a while. But my family, especially my Dad, would be heartbroken. I'm the eldest and he never got to finish secondary school. He's so proud that I got my degree and everything, but it means nothing to me.

I guess I just needed to vent a bit. Sorry. But if anyone has any suggestions I'd really appreciate them.

You sound like a very smart and sensitive person to me, are you female? Anyways I was in the exact same position as you. I was doing a course I knew was not for me, I had paid my fees but I decided to drop out before Christmas, so basically I dropped out before Christmas, and I had got 1/2 of my fee back which is better than nothing!
I dropped out and got a job fairly quickly in a call centre. I also had responsibilities too and they made it 100 times more complicated because I couldn't fully make decisions on what Iwanted.

LegacyUser

Maybe U need a little bit of time out to recharge the batteries.

turbot

There is a saying that goes: When you are in a good state of mind, you make good decisions.

It seems you like your course, but for some other reason you want to escape.

My suggestion is that you hang in there... at least until you are in a good frame of mind, when you can make a better decision.

Motley Crue

Decide what you really want to do. Sit down and make an informed decision about the college, the area, your student friends, the distance from home, and every pro and con you can think of. Take a deep breath, come to a decision, and then go to bed. If you still feel the same way in the morning you know youve made the right choice and you can act on it. The only thing I will say though is colleges dont usually return student fees and if youre in year 1 you might just be feeling a little down with the change to college life and if youre in year 4 youve only another yr to go. good luck:)

LegacyUser

my advice for what its worth would be to take loads of time to think things over, college is supposed to be a learning experience for you, parents etc will get over whatever decision you make.
i spent 3 years in a particular college, i always wanted to do this course and while i liked it and completed the 3 years, had friends there etc. i never felt happy, never, i did what i had to do to complete the course but in truth it was the whole atmosphere of the college that i didn't like. fastforward a year and now im in a different college (same course but higher level) and i've never been happier, im a different person. im enjoying the course so much more now. Take a year out if needs be, times on your side, im 21 now, and been in college almost 4 years, im the youngest in my class, in hindsight i should've taken a year out there was no way i was ready or mature enough for college when i started, im only beginning to enjoy it now when its nearly over!

Beruthiel

Blooper wrote:

I have a bit of a problem. I have no idea what I'm still doing in college. I've paid my fees for the semester, I have a lovely place to live and my course is really interesting

but I don't want anything to do with it. At the moment I just feel like crying because I don't want to be here, or be in this situation

OK
The above two comments together do not gel.
You have paid for the course.
You find the course really interesting.
You like where you live.
You have friends and a social life.
Loans you can manage.
It all sounds perfect, yet it's not.

Do you think you are just feeling down for another reason? Would it help to talk to a professional about it? Perhaps they can help you pin point the real reason for your feelings? It could be something very simple which has nothing to do with what you are doing in your life so far.
I would suggest that you stick at the course and talk to a councillor before you do anything rash that you may regret later.
Best of luck

Miguel_Sanchez

I agree with Beruthiel - don't rush into a decision. Dropping out may seem like a quick fix now but it sounds like it would be a decision you could come to regret. Take some time and maybe talk to a college counsellor about what you're going through.

Sam Vimes

b_ wrote:

my advice for what its worth would be to take loads of time to think things over, college is supposed to be a learning experience for you, parents etc will get over whatever decision you make.
i spent 3 years in a particular college, i always wanted to do this course and while i liked it and completed the 3 years, had friends there etc. i never felt happy, never, i did what i had to do to complete the course but in truth it was the whole atmosphere of the college that i didn't like. fastforward a year and now im in a different college (same course but higher level) and i've never been happier, im a different person. im enjoying the course so much more now. Take a year out if needs be, times on your side, im 21 now, and been in college almost 4 years, im the youngest in my class, in hindsight i should've taken a year out there was no way i was ready or mature enough for college when i started, im only beginning to enjoy it now when its nearly over!

exactly the same happened to me. i was doing a course in an it and while the course was interesting i never quite fitted in, although it got better towards the end of the two years. then i transferred to the same course in a university and never looked back. i love it now

greenkittie

This sounds to me exactly like a girl i used to know. Eventually she broke down in the middle of class. After that she got professional help and it turned out she had depression, then soon enough everything was sorted out.

LegacyUser

Hey,

Just though I'd add that you should perhaps stick it out and then defer next year - then you can always go back to your own University place when things are easier/more settled.


Just a thought......

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice.

The more I think about it, the more I want to leave. I know what I'm doing is only a year long (it's 11 months, rather than a 9 month academic year), and I stuck my entire degree out without questioning wanting to be there at all, but this feels wrong. I'm graduating soon, and when I do, I don't want to ever have to go back to college. Yet, I love the place. I just can't reconcile how I feel about things to myself - I love the course content, but hate the course. I love the college and the whole college "thing" but I hate it at the same time. I can't concentrate on studying because I don't want to be here, even though this was all I've wanted to do for years, and it's exactly what I thought it would be. I just feel like I'm going through the motions with everything, but feel so silly for feeling like that too. When I participate in class discussions, I say things I don't mean and get so fustrated when people correct me or say what I intended to say, but can't backtrack and say what I wanted. I'm normally pretty indecisive, but I'm so definite about not wanting to be here that it's almost like it's not me making my mind up for me. I'm just so confused.

LegacyUser

'I am a bit confused. You have a degree already , so you are now doing a diploma or Masters on top?\r\n\r\nAnyways, from my experience and degree is enough to get you a job. I have a Masters and all it does is gets you a job interview very easily. Its a good Masters but it would not be essential to get me the job I have now.\r\n\r\nWhat are trying to do over the next year or two?'

marie_85

OP, I think I kind of understand where you're coming from. Is it that even though the course is what you expected it to be in itself, it's not living up to your expectations of how it makes you feel? My advise to you would be to stick with it, as it is only a year long. I know myself how things can sometimes be overwhelming, and I quite often can get the urge to escape. I've (slowly) learnt that running away isn't always the best option, and that sometimes it's better for us to stick with the difficult times, as it makes us stronger people. What I try to do now if I get overwhelmed/stuck in a rut is to make some smaller change in my life instead, just to make myself feel like I still have some vestige of control. Something as simple as changing my hairstyle or signing up for a yoga class can give you a new lease of life.

Slutmonkey57b

If you love the course content, how can you hate the course? If it's just the structure of the course that's the problem, I'd consider transferring to another college. If you're doing postgrad, then surely your timetable is essentially up to you? I think you have other problems rather than the "is this course for me" variety.