Infertile Boyfriend/Husband - would you dump him?

Kinetic^

Probably not the best idea to be making this thread seeing how it relates to one similar in PI but I feel that it's something that needs to be asked.

If your bf/hubby was infertile, would you dump him?

My thought on the matter would be that women tend to get baby crazy whereas to a man having kids would not be as important. The general concensus in the other thread was that most men would not dump their gf/wifey for being infertile but I feel that if the shoe was on the other foot things may be differently!!

Lust4Life

Ha! Everyone voted but none posted comment!

Infertile = lots and LOTS and LOTS more sex in my book!:D

takola

I didn't vote. I can't really decide on which. That's a really hard question to answer, And I really don't think anyone can answer it til they've been in that situation. I've seen couples break up over one wanting kids and the other not without the problems of being infertile. And as was said in the other thread, they're are treatments out there that can help.

I like to think that I wouldn't, But then I do want to have children at some point. And with me, It would all depend on the other person. If I really love him and think he would be a good father I think I would adopt. But as I said, I've never been in that situation and my answers might change if I was.

Ickle Magoo

No way - I love all of my parter, not just his sperm. There are many ways of helping to deal with male infertility & I would adopt if we could not get pregnant. There is no way on earth it would be my deciding factor in a relationship - you spend 20 odd yrs giving your kids your best, before that & after that time it is all about you & your partner - to treat a man as no better than some kind of sperm donor is really very sad imo...

CathyMoran

If he was infertile I would just have to get a sperm donation from a clinic in the UK, no big deal.

The_Minister

CathyMoran wrote:

If he was infertile I would just have to get a sperm donation from a clinic in the UK, no big deal.

Then it wouldn't be his. It would be like some random guy had knocked you up.

CathyMoran

Yes, but I woulld not be dumping my fiancee, not that I ever would. If it came to that I would not want to know the name of the father as I would want my fiancee and I to raise the child as our own and not have anyone else involved. In my mind it would be my fiancee's in any case.

Siogfinsceal

I never want kids so if he was infertile id be delighted

biko

You can always get the Most Fertile Man in Ireland to do the job.

free2fly

Absolutely not! Love has nothing to do with sperm.

Hail 2 Da Chimp

free2fly wrote:

Love has nothing to do with sperm.

Maybe you've never truly been in love then...

free2fly

Hail 2 Da Chimp wrote:

Maybe you've never truly been in love then...

What exactly do you mean by that? How, in your mind, does sperm equate to love? To me, love is accepting everything about the person.

muppetkiller

You should also ad the option for men ...If my GF couldn't have kids it would be a major issue for me..

Laslo

free2fly wrote:

What exactly do you mean by that? How, in your mind, does sperm equate to love? To me, love is accepting everything about the person.

Exactly.

kittenkiller

I really doubt I would but obviously couldn't give a proper answer as I'm not in that situation atm.
With so many fertility programs and progressions around these days, I wouldn't really see it as a problem.

It'd be very very different if the man in question was adament that he didn't want kids.

kittenkiller

Hail 2 Da Chimp wrote:

Maybe you've never truly been in love then...

Hetero love may be slightly different to what you've experienced H2DC!

free2fly

Laslo wrote:

Exactly.

Lol! I get it now

Tar.Aldarion

takola wrote:

I've seen couples break up over one wanting kids and the other not without the problems of being infertile.

I hope that never happens to me, it can be a heated discussion though...

Tar.Aldarion

Well with a husband I don't think you would be having much of a problem old chap.
I, for one, hope that my future husband is infertile.

Belle_Morte

Siogfinsceal wrote:

I never want kids so if he was infertile id be delighted

Ditto.

Tar.Aldarion

Did a ghost of hollow eve delete ruu's post to make me look silly...or was it...
¬_¬

Nightwish

No way, I hate kids and never want them, so I'd celebrate his seedlessness.

Kintarō Hattori

Clearly the people here who would dump their partner aren't in love with them. Being in love with someone is about caring for that person more than yourself, to work through life's problems together and to always be there for each other.
I can absolutely state that if my GF was unable to give me children, then yes I would be sad, but I in no way would love her any less or treat her differently than I did before. I love her, and not her baby giving abilities. It does not matter that I have not been in that situation as I can tell you right here and right now that I would still love her to bits and look forward to a long, happy and healthy life with her.

Kintarō Hattori

Nightwish wrote:

I'd celebrate his seedlessness.

heh heh

Chinafoot

As much as I want children, I would definitely not be dumping my boyfriend if it turned out he was infertile.

senordingdong

Not trying to offend anyone but I would be seriously disgusted if anyone I knew dumped their SO because he or she is infertile.

wow sierra

This is like asking would you dump your boyfriend if he moved to Russia or wanted his mother to move in with you etc. Relationsips are complex and live and die over a lot of little things - there are no simple yes or no answers. People split up all the time -it would be a bit of a bummer if you stayed with a guy who couldnt have kids and then he dumped you when you were too old to have them!!! But then if you did dump him who's to say you would meet someone else who you would want to have kids with.

Kenny 5

Kenny 5 wrote:

Probably not the best idea to be making this thread seeing how it relates to one similar in PI but I feel that it's something that needs to be asked.

If your bf/hubby was infertile, would you dump him?

My thought on the matter would be that women tend to get baby crazy whereas to a man having kids would not be as important. The general concensus in the other thread was that most men would not dump their gf/wifey for being infertile but I feel that if the shoe was on the other foot things may be differently!!

No, of course I wouldn't dump him.
That said I don't want children anyway

rainbow kirby

I'd be extremely happy if my SO was infertile, no babies for me!
(I never want kids)

Black Swan

If married and we were in love, no. We could adopt. Plus, we could have all the fun without the worry of chems or other contraceptives.

2funki4wheelz

I'm with the other women here who don't want to have children, so no. My partner is very understanding of that so I guess I'm lucky.

But even if I did want them I wouldn't dump someone, if you love the person you must want to spend your life with them, and if your life includes raising children then do it. Adoption/sperm donors etc, what is the big emphasis on having a biologically linked offspring anyway??? Can't you love 'a child' regardless?

My parents couldn't have kids so I was adopted and I'm sure glad they didn't break up over it cos God knows where I would've ended up.

kizzyr

No.
I love my partner totally and love it being just the two of us. Neither of us is even close to knowing if we want to have children anyway. You do not need children to complete your life, many people live full and happy lives without them.
However, if the having of children was something we ever both wanted and were unable to have our own then there are other options that can be explored. If they too failed then I'm sure that we could work through it. I think its insane to dump someone over something like this that they have no control over.

Raiser

......I thought I might mention that I've trained my boys to lie around lazy-style by default - they aint swimmers so much as loungers.....

...... But when broody time comes and she starts clearing out the nursery and browsing in Mothercare - one command and they're at that egg like Rotweilers at a chicken carcass......:cool: