Is he the one?

barbeck23

Ok - I recently met this guy and I feel like he is the one. I dont know how and why but I just do. Then we were out together, the first time we had spoke, and basically he admitted to fancying me. He started asking me my thoughts on marriage and would I consider marriage after 2 yrs into a relationship (Im 23 and he is 30) and basically he was sussing me out. Th thing is he has a girlfriend in London who he only sees maybe every 2 months. I got the impression that he wants to settle down and his current girlfriend isnt the one for him and he knows there is something between us. What shall I do? I know I should wait it out an act cool and all the rest but its so frustrating. Will he really leave his girlfriend?

Marksie

Talk to him about how you feel. Better to communicate openly and tell him what you have told us. Nothing worse than playing it cool while inside you are going deeper and deeper. One day you may find yourself in too deep and the feelings are not reciprocated....

Ruu_Old

I find it a bit odd that he started to discuss marriage with you so soon, what about you? I would advise you to talk to him and to sort out the relationship he is in first before going any further with it, thats just my opinion. You also have to ask yourself what would he be doing still with her, if she wasn't the one?

barbeck23

I think he might be a little freaked if I tell him I mad about him after only knowing him three weeks. He made it pretty obvious he liked me the other night but I just don't want to be the other woman and be left with nothing. I think I will suss him out and see how he is reacting to me back in college tomorrow and decide. Maybe a few drinks to get his tongue moving but I dont wanna scare him away!

Faith

How long has he been going out with his girlfriend? Is it around the two-year mark...?

I'd find it hard to believe that, just after you've met, he's sussing you out for marriage, even though he has a partner. I'm sorry, but I really doubt it's what you think it is.

barbeck23

I think so too faith - one can dream though! Yeah it's the 2 year mark!!?!?! What does that mean?

ando

im not sure im reading that right, but did you say you are only seeing him 3 weeks? and he's already talking bout marrage???

Mr. Presentable

Sounds to me like he wants your opinion on his asking the other girl to marry him - they being together 2 years and all

free2fly

If he already has a girlfriend he has no right to be discussing marriage with you. If he isn't happy with her then he should end it. If I were you I wouldn't get my hopes up. If you don't want to be the other woman then stay away from him.

Marksie

ando wrote:

im not sure im reading that right, but did you say you are only seeing him 3 weeks? and he's already talking bout marrage???

Ahh i will qualify my earlier post now that there is a little more information.
My advise remains the same..but was he talking about marriage in terms of you or in general//i.e. his current girlfriend?
And he only sees her every two months? how long does he see her for then?

Just asking as i was in a similar situation with a woman a few years back with her living in ireland and me in the UK.. we could only get together every two months or so and it was for a week or two at a time.. and that was hard enough.in the end i moved over.

He may not have been sussing you out perse, but trying to suss out his london gfriend. I think he should clarify what his intentions are

Chinafoot

nipplenuts wrote:

Sounds to me like he wants your opinion on his asking the other girl to marry him - they being together 2 years and all

That's what I thought too.

OP, has anything actually happened between the two of you? How did he make it obvious that he likes you?

He has a girlfriend. If he's unhappy then he needs to finish with her and maybe then you can see what will happen.

You've said it yourself, you only know him 3 weeks. I wouldn't be booking the church just yet.

kravmaga

If his girlfriend is in London, is he in Dublin and just wanting a fcuk buddy on the side i.e. You .

Or is it a case you both had a few beers one night, both feelin a bit horny and you now feel he is the one???. Get real , wake up and smell the coffee.

Where is your logic on this, the guy is a red blooded male, he just wants a shag, do you not get it???????????????????????

Plus big age gap also 7 yrs, have you much in common besides sex????

Sorry to be blunt but it is the truth, have been their before with the long distance relationship and it does not work in the end.

Best of luck with him

kittex

barbeck23 wrote:

Ok - I recently met this guy and I feel like he is the one. I dont know how and why but I just do. Then we were out together, the first time we had spoke, and basically he admitted to fancying me. He started asking me my thoughts on marriage and would I consider marriage after 2 yrs into a relationship (Im 23 and he is 30) and basically he was sussing me out. Th thing is he has a girlfriend in London who he only sees maybe every 2 months. I got the impression that he wants to settle down and his current girlfriend isnt the one for him and he knows there is something between us. What shall I do? I know I should wait it out an act cool and all the rest but its so frustrating. Will he really leave his girlfriend?

I don't want to sound harsh but this guy sounds like a possible total player. This is coming from one who has been played.
You sound like a warm, open, caring person. You're romantic and open to the idea of love at first sight - are you really sure he isn't playing on that?
Lots of men play the "poor lonely me" card then have the technicality of having told you about the girlfriend to get out of things when you get too attached.

You said he'd think you were crazy if you told him you really liked him after 3 weeks - why don't you think he's crazy for metioning how much he fancies you while he has a girlfriend?

Be careful not to get swept along in what he says. Step back and think of yourself. Is he really everything you want?

Of course, I am cynical.

Faith

barbeck23 wrote:

I think so too faith - one can dream though! Yeah it's the 2 year mark!!?!?! What does that mean?

It means that, when he was asking you do you think it's okay to get married when you've been going out for two years, that he's thinking of asking his girlfriend, who he's been going out with for two years, to marry him. He wasn't making plans for the future with you in mind, sorry.

barbeck23

Ok.

What happened was on the first day we were both registering and we couldn't keep our eyes off each other. Then 3 weeks later was the first time we properly spoke. He was asking me what my views of marriage were and then telling me how he wouldn't go out with anyone now without the view for marriage. The he went on to say that things we're really working out with his girlfriend but how he feels the need to settle down. He then went on to say how attracted he was to me and how I am the sort of girl he goes for. There was extreme chemistry between us (as was pointed out to me by a few friends and how he was following me around) but I played it cool and just played the whole 'sure I know you fancy me!'.

Prehaps he was looking for a shag but we got a taxi together where I was heading for a party and I dropped him home first and he just kissed me on the cheek and wished me a good night.

One of his good friends whom I am friendly with had previously said to me before any of this happened that he always kept to himslef with regards girls and how he had girls falling at his feet and he didn't do anything.

I know I am a romantic, but he doesn't know this. I know this for sure. He thinks I am cock sure pretty girl who has many admirers. Unfortunately he is the same and has admitted he wants what he cant have.......

Pigman II

No he won't leave her. He is Mr. Right and you are Miss Right-now.

barbeck23

I'm not going to let it go anywhere without his girlfriend out of the picture, I suppose I'm just a big romantic and think there is a fate for us all and he could be mine!

Black Swan

You just met and he is talking marriage? Not realistic. You don't know each other. How can you talk life long commitment? Slow down and learn about the other person before even considering such a thing.

CathyMoran

My gut instinct is that there is something wrong with his relationship with his girlfriend and he needs an excuse to leave (you) but you will not be the one that he ends up with, you are just the excuse for him to leave the other one. I do so hope that I am wrong about this and that he is genuine, him cheating on his girlfriend aside which would make him to me a lower quality boyfriiend. If he does break up with her he will have a lot of guilt that he left her for you and that is normally when the relationship with the other woman splits.

Miss Fluff

barbeck23 wrote:

Ok - I recently met this guy and I feel like he is the one. I dont know how and why but I just do. Then we were out together, the first time we had spoke, and basically he admitted to fancying me.

Am I right in saying that you know this guy 3 weeks and spoke to him for the first time recently? Sounds like you are infatuated. You don't even know the guy to be honest, do you?

And sorry to be cynical, but when referring to marriage he is either:

a. Talking in general or talking about perhaps mentioning same to current girlfriend.
b. A complete psycho (if he is amking reference to the two fo you getting hitched)

Ickle Magoo

OP,

I think you can fancy him like mad, you can be completely infatuated - after such little time I don't think you can possibly love someone. You barely know anything about them! The guy could be a complete creep...and tbh any guy with a gf chatting to a girl 7yrs his jr on their first meeting about marriage & how unhappy he is in his 2yr relationship & giving you the impressing he fancies you sounds like a bit of a creep to me.