Can a woman propose to boyfriend?

Guestxxx

Hi everyone

Just looking for views on this ... boyfriend and I been together for 3 years and things going really well. We talk about marriage and kids and pretty much know where we are heading.

I am not a typical girlie girl and he loves this about me. We are both very independant and up for a laugh type people. In a way I love to go against the norm and he loves this about me. so I was thinking about proposing to him instead of the other way around.

nothing to do with rushing him into it this is really what we want and what we have talked about. He has often asked me to marry him on the spur of the moment but nothing official and vice versa.

my concern? is this something a man likes to do? sometimes he says I need to step back and let him be the man and take care of me. from time to time I do have allow him 'be the man' I know its important to him that he has a sense of looking after me ... does that make sense?

anyway What do you think? is it ricky to take this from him? or would it be something he would think wow she really is different and great!

Black Swan

You know him better than we do. Sense of humour appears evident from your post between you two? Maybe you pop the question with a degree of playfulness and see what happens? If he comes back playful (or serious) and says yes, then maybe you both get more serious?

Guestxxx

thanks blue lagoon.

If i do this I want to go all out give him a proposal he will never forget so playfullness if not what I intend to test his reaction.

I guess I am wondering from a male prespective how important is it to men that they are the one's to propose?

miles teg

If you like to deviate from the norm, why not try something a little different?
You could offer yourself to him with a token/symbolic dowry or trousseau. You'll show him that you are ready for the commitment but it will leave the actual proposal up to him.

Bazzy

It's 2006 so this shouldnt be a problem!

Send him flowers to work then propose when he gets home

I would keep away from palyful as he might think you joking get down on one knee and all.

Defo wont forget that!!!

Ruu_Old

Don't play any games, ask him if you are serious about it. I would also stay away from asking playfully as it were. I think there was a thread on this in the Weddings & Marriages forum under Soc. Good luck.

chamlis

Between the two of ye, you proposing and him accepteing would probably be grand judging by what we know about you're relationship.
But you can't underestimate the "being the man" factor. Yeah, it's 2006 but some things never change.
Like I said, between the 2 of ye it'd be grand, but when it comes up in dinner conversation or when ye tell ye're mates that ye're engaged and that you did the asking, who knows what'll happen.
It may have to "officially" be him that did it. Make sense?

Kolodny

Seems perfectly acceptable for you to propose to him if it's in keeping with the 'style' of your relationship. And from what you've already said it seems very unlikely that he'll say no

Cianos

I'm gonna go and say that I think you should let him do it. It does sound like you have your own unique relationship, but I think proposing life long commitment in the form of marriage is something naturally fitting to the man. I doubt he would mind too much but I think if he has says that he wants to be more manly towards you than this would be an important act for him to see through.

Maybe your just being a little impatient?

trotter_inc

Course its not a problem... go for it!

Good luck... Im sure he'd love it...

koneko

Go for it, and good luck! (though it sounds like you don't need it)

Let us know how it went if/when you do it.

The_Minister

Women can only propose on the 29th of Febuary

EDIT: Traditionally

greenkittie

I think you should wait and let him do it, he might have it all planned already for all you know!

GAA widow

Guest, would you like if your boyfriend proposed to you?

turbot

Well if you're going to do this, you may as well do it in the most public place possible .... on a large plane with a message from the captain... etc ;-)

JayRoc

Guestxxx wrote:

Sometimes he says I need to step back and let him be the man and take care of me. from time to time I do have allow him 'be the man' I know its important to him that he has a sense of looking after me !

I think this is probably a good example of when he'd prefer to "Be the man" so to speak. I say let him know in no uncertain terms where you stand on the subject, and then let him do the official asking. That way you're both happy.
I know if it were me I'd prefer to be given the opportunity to do it myself.

Guestxxx

Hi everyone and thank you for your posts.

In answer to some of your questions:

Am I being a little bit impatient?

No not at all. This is not the be all and end all for me or for us. I just want to amaze and surprise him and show him how much I care.

Would I like him to propose to me?

Interesting question, well if he did of course I'd like it. If I thought for a moment that he really wanted to be the one to do the proposing I would step back and genuinely leave it and whenever he did he did. Its not that I want him to do it now.

Jayroc - I guess if I was sure I wouldn't have posted and this is the one point holding me back. Proposing to someone is normally the task of the man and although our relationship is not built on the 'norm' this one issue is niggling at me.

I guess I need to give this more thought and try to suss him out a bit more in a delicate way. I guess if I did it I would want to really blow his socks off and make it the best thing that ever happened. Its his happiness I want more than anything.

Thanks again everyone for your views its helped alot.

If you see a mad woman running up behind a live RTE news coverage with a big sign saying a mans name with Will You Marry Me? you will know its me )) or the front page of a major newspaper

Thanks again!

LegacyUser

Yeah, I'd say bring it up as a topic of conversation - women vs men proposing and sound him out that way. Maybe even refer to this thread or a similar one as an interesting point of reference. If you figure he'd appreciate it from that, then maybe just give it a few weeks before you drop the bomb.

Best of luck with it anyway.