bf couldnt cum

LegacyUser

just started doing stuff with my bf. i have experience whereas he has none, at least none that was directed at him (he's fingered/gone down on a girl before). now i havnt ever had a problem making exs come but it was impossible today when i tried giving him a handjob for the first time.

he was really enjoying it, that much was pretty clear, but i feel kinda bad. he feels it was his fault. i wonder if i did something wrong. its way to early to really be worried i know but i just want suggestions/advice or even just personal experiences to make us less bothered by it.

he says he was relaxed and not in the least bit nervous. i wanted to go down on him because im pretty sure he could cum that way, not to sound like a dirty whore but im brill at them and quite confident in my methods. he didnt want me to til we've made him cum by hand since he doesnt want me having to resort to blow jobs all the time. would this be a good idea or would a successful b.j. maybe help him cum with other forms of foreplay, like jump start it?

this all might seem silly and im completely aware im jumping the gun here but we're crazy about eachother and i dont want anything to bring us down if we can help it. its already knocked his confidence and he already felt threatened by my past experience. he was great at providing me with pleasure though (which i made sure he knew after so to boost his confidence).
we are long distance so please let noone just say "keep at it". however we will get alot of time spent together in the next 2 weeks so either way i'l be sure to wear the muscles in my arm out if thats whats needed to make him get there.

petes

Get him to give you a hand. Seriously. Hes well used to doing it himself.

Talliesin

Yes. Don't worry about doing it "right", just make sure it's good for him, then let him finish himself if he hasn't cum, and take things from there.

Lough_Swan

Try taking it in turns, he wants so much then you take over just when he's about to cum, i've had to do this before, worked for me

melekalikimaka

i wouldn't worry bout it, its not uncommon, happens in lots of cases, its not the end of the world, as long as he enjoyed it, thats half the battle...(with none of the mess)

Cianos

He's probably not as relaxed as he says he is. Maybe just spend some more time building it up and dont view him coming as a goal you have to dash to. If it happens, it happens.

LegacyUser

thanks thats made me feel a bit better. proberly will try it all those ways. didnt know it wasnt that unusual and he as sure as hell thinks he's weird because of it. maybe i can convince him he isnt.
it might be the way he wants me to do it. just my index and my thumb. i of course as a female dont really see how this could be of much benefit to him instead of one full or two hands even

secret_squirrel

Its not that unusual, you can give a man incredibly intense pleasure without him necessarily cumming.

As a bonus he's more likely to be up for some more fun sooner rather than later.:)

LegacyUser

i know you've heard it before but "try not to worry about it" etc.
as relaxed as he thinks he is he probably isnt really - it will take some time but it will be ok, trust me exact same thing with me. She was experienced, I was not, we were long distance too!

Like one of the previous posters said, get him to give you a hand - thats what I did, did most of the work myself in front of her and she finished, after cumming in front of her once it made things easier - even tho I thought I was relaxed enough beforehand!

Didnt fix the problem straight away tho, still took some time, she was very patient bless her!

Also, as for your bj idea, it's no harm to try it, if that also doesnt work dont feel bad, (or worry about your technique etc) coz that didnt work for me and still doesnt - but everything else does!

Like I said, it took time and patience and reassurance. Dont worry!

LegacyUser

well, tried b.j. built it up myself then he built it up that bit more and i finished it off. did it more then once so i'd say its okay. thanks again for the advice!