Freedom Fighter

Call Me Jimmy

My most recent effort at poetry, I'll admit I'm new to it and am still learning but I've been getting alot of compliments about this one from family and friends, mainly to do with the rhyming and the ending.


Anyway, let me kno what ye think (good OR bad hehe)

Freedom Fighter

Does He have the right
To fight?

Oppression grips Him like a vice,
but He must not think twice...

...for He is a suicide bomber.

This is the only way,
He can have His say.

Casting His vote with a detonator,
instead of an electronic voting machine.

Now, His vote has been cast,
the playgrounds are silenced,
Lunar Eclipse.

And for what?

El Diablo has secured his precious oil,
Now his fires can continue to burn
using the oil.

dr.bollocko

I like the capital H's. Bomber / god link.
The last line is a bit strange. ..."using the oil" seems a bit distended. I liked the Lunar eclipse line, ending it there on an image is nicer than repetition of oil in an out of flow sentence.

Millionaire

Thats a good topic Jimmy, I grew up on the south armagh border during the war, when we were fighting, and I knew many Freedom Fighters. though most votes done were cast with AK-47 and Barret Light 50s

Here is my attempt...

The Volunteer

I am a freedom fighter on the run
my only voice is my gun
my only vote is the sniper

My brother was murdered by british marines
shot in the back in the 90s
yet they got their freedom
by brother lost his to the abyss to death
riddled in the back with machine guns

No one cares nor listens to me
I have to shout loud
I am a volunteer and I stand proud
M16 at the ready, I feel a nervous
belly, as I have the squddie in my sights

The oppressor never listen,
another dead brit, on the list of missing
I had to shout louder

Canary Warf, and they listened to me.
Bobby Sands RIP.

Call Me Jimmy

Thanks for the comments! I thought long and hard about the last line but I wanted to emphasize (sp?) the fact that he was using the resources from one of his schemes to carry out others.

Millionaire, I like your poem a lot, I really connected with it. However I like mine more. Of course, this is not a competition. (but if it was i think i'de win hehe jk smiley face)

I like the line about the 90s, t'was well written.

I've got some projects in the pipeline and will be posting as soon as I'm 100% happy with them. My goal is to turn pro at some stage, that would be great.

Millionaire

El Diablo has secured his precious oil,
Now his fires can continue to burn
using the oil.

for some reason this reminds me of 9/11 in a way. like a reverse meaning....

yeah the 90s story is true, that was Fergal Caragher who was shot in the back and murdered in south armagh by british marines, as he drove away from a check point. his brother was badly shot up in the murder, and managed to survived. the marines were aquitted in court and jeered the caragher family in the court. :rolleyes:

of course the Sniper voting for him is his brother, who more than evened the score card up a good bit in later years.