what to do?

LegacyUser

ok first off i'm a 22 year old female, i appologise before hand this is pretty long and rambling,
my problem being that i have a group of drinking/college buddies we all go out together and what have you, male and female, all good friends, so i've pretty much always fancied a certain member of the group, lets call him john, very very goodlooking guy , but of all the group hes the one i have least in common with i've always found making conversation with him incredibly difficult, so i pretty much decided to forget about it because he was completely out of my league, so a couple of weeks ago i kissed another member of the group (alex) things got pretty intense (but i didn't sleep with him), and another group member saw us, it was completely out of character for me but it just felt right at the time, don't get me wrong hes a lovely guy and i've been 'meeting' him (god i sound like a 12 yr old) for the last few weeks but we both know its only a bit of fun. I think the other members of the group john in particular may think we did sleep together or are going out together. lately john and i have been having great conversations with each other and The last time we all went out minus alex as he couldn't come out that night, john and i spent the whole night chatting away, later that night john told me he did in fact fancy me this being why he had always completely clammed up when trying to make conversation, there was a 'moment' and we almost kissed. anyways my question being...i've really fallen for john and could seriously see this developing into a relationship, the problem being alex, i don't want either of them or my other friends to think i'm just 'working my way' through the group or that im a slut, will it look really bad if i just start 'meeting' him, or should i wait a while and let things lie a while??

Talliesin

I missed the bit where you and Alex became a serious item.

On which basis, I think you should try dating John.

Black Swan

Agree with Talliesin, thought you and Alex were just having fun and had not gotten serious? If that is the case, then date John.

Catari Jaguar

Pfff, screw your friends, if they're guna think you're a slapper r whatever then they aren't friends. Chances are they knew u were mad keen on John n wanted u to get together. I'm really happy for u that John likes you back, awh. Go for it def, Alex was just your John sub.

From past experience, I find groups tend to drift apart when members become an item. Dunno why, resentment or uncomfortableness or something? But hey, you'l have your fella so doesn't matter.

cournioni

Definately go for it, but beware Alex might actually like you more than you give him credit for. Don't expect him to go down without a fight if he does.

Beruthiel

fakeusername wrote:

i've really fallen for john and could seriously see this developing into a relationship

And he's fallen for you.
Call him and ask him out, just the two of you, strike while the iron's hot!
What everyone else thinks is beside the point.

Sleepy

Just make sure you let 'Alex' know things are over between the two of you and there shouldn't be any problem.

Kell

Sleepy wrote:

Just make sure you let 'Alex' know things are over between the two of you and there shouldn't be any problem.

She snogged him, hasnt slept with him and they have met once or twice. Whats to be over exactly?

OP- ask John out and yes, it really is THAT easy. Also what Ruthie says.

K-

justsomebloke

Sleepy wrote:

Just make sure you let 'Alex' know things are over between the two of you and there shouldn't be any problem.

ye the missing ingredient here is how Alex is going to take it also does john know that you have been seeing alex cause if he doesn't and he finds out he may just step back at that point as he mighn't want to get in the way of his friend getting with you. Also if Alex wants things to go further and you then go off with john he mighn't be best pleased and might start bad mouthing you to the rest of the group

tbh

you like him, he likes you, you're gonna get together, it's just a matter of when.....ahhh....life doesn't get any sweeter than that really.

Talliesin

jsb wrote:

ye the missing ingredient here is how Alex is going to take it

Either he'll realise that having a couple of kisses doesn't mean they are now an item, or he's so stupidly inclined towards jealousy that there's going to be some issue about something at some point in the future anyway so who cares.

cournioni

Kell wrote:

She snogged him, hasnt slept with him and they have met once or twice. Whats to be over exactly?

OP- ask John out and yes, it really is THAT easy. Also what Ruthie says.

K-

Doesn't matter, even after the one or two times she snogged him he still might be pissed off about John just jumping into a relationship with her. Lads are competitive like that. It is the reason why you see so many fights over girls in night clubs, childish as it may be.